Gilbert Gottfried: Funniest man alive

<3 gilbert gottfried

He wrote an intro to a Mad magazine compendium that includes the sentence "Now I am a parrot." So true.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/14/gilbert-gottfried-fired-aflac_n_835692.html

RealGilbert

Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them.
about 3 hours ago via web
What do the japanese have in common with @howardstern? They're both radio active.
about 20 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
Japan had put out this urgent plea...." PLEASE SEND US A FEW BIlLION RUBBER DUCKIES!!!!!"
about 20 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
Japan called me. They said "maybe those jokes are a hit in the US, but over here, they're all sinking.
about 21 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
I fucked a girl in japan. She screamed "I feel the earth move and I'm getting wet."
about 21 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
My book #rubberBallsAndLiquor was released in japan. It's making quite a splash.
about 21 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
What does every Japanese person have in their apartment? Flood lights.
about 21 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
I asked a girl in Japan to have sex with me. She said "okay, but you'll have to sleep in the wet spot."
about 22 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
What do Japanese Jews like to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami.
about 22 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I said "is there a school in this area." She said "not now, but just wait."
about 22 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
My Japanese doctor advised me to stay healthy I need 50 million gallons of water a day.
about 23 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, "They'll be another one floating by any minute now."
about 23 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone

what a horribly formed "joke"

<tiniest font ever> one of those made me laugh a little bit.

yeaaaahhhhhh... he's not gonna recover from this. and the commercials were becoming tedious anyway - i'm not going to miss him.

Those jokes are great!

very much in character

gottfried couldnt be reached for comment, but this was his reaction when he heard the news:

http://i.imgur.com/1MNGe.gif

guys, he's been saying horrible stuff for years and years. he'll be fine.

He was like the only guy making 9/11 jokes in the month of September, hes p much a hero

I think the diff w/ 9/11 is he's not Japanese, so...

Who gives a fuck. A good joke's a good joke.

also, i really don't recall his 9/11 jokes being told publicly in September '01. Did the Friars Club footage get out before The Aristocrats?

but those are 'good' BAD jokes

xp

Will they let him keep his job as a smoke detector?

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/37c91SUokMc/0.jpg

I was told this weekend that I need to see The Adventures of Ford Fairlane mainly because of GG.

haha u may have misheard me

hahaha

oh no, did I?

i mean any reason for seeing it is aok imo

:)

i hope you were watching raising hope last week!

http://twitter.com/#!/morgan_murphy/status/47632863625084928

lol

Who gives a fuck. A good joke's a good joke.

PrincessTamTam can fuck off and die now, thanks. Piece of worthless shit. Good job trollin'. Hope your family gets wiped out by a tsunami.

So sick of this ironic distance or whatever the fuck it is that tolerates people joking about tens of thousands of people dying. No excuse.

I just read about this morning. I'd love to get inside Gilbert Gottfried's mind: "My career's going well, I'm universally loved--now would be a good time to fire off some national-disaster jokes."

Who gives a fuck. A good joke's a good joke.

― ℳℴℯ　❤＼(◕‿◕✿ (Princess TamTam), Monday, March 14, 2011 9:08 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

So sick of this ironic distance or whatever the fuck it is that tolerates people joking about tens of thousands of people dying. No excuse.

― 'what are you, the Hymen Protection League of America?' (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, March 15, 2011 9:59 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

these posts are pretty much the "ilx keep it negative dickhole zing crew" vs "ilx cuddlestein era crew" defined

thank you, Jane Goodall

lol

that's DOCTOR whiney to you

omg lol

these posts are pretty much the "ilx keep it negative dickhole zing crew" vs "ilx cuddlestein era crew" defined

― i been serving humble pie since he had small faces (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, March 15, 2011 9:08 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this post is pretty much "ilx's shittiest poster" defined

I am pretty sure that guy has realized he's not universally loved by now. the jokes were stupid and distasteful but on a certain level I think it's better to just ignore people who do this rather than make it a national news story instead of making it into a game about how offended / morally superior we are.

Er replace 'instead of ' with 'and'

n/a, i'd love to come back to that with a zing, but none of your worthless jerkoff piss-dribble posts have ever made enough impact on me to register? who are you?

Someone who's been here a lot longer than you have, for a start.

Sorry guys for being too cuddly to not find this disaster funny.

guys, i'm not trying to make some value judgement on whether zing crew or cuddle crew is BETTER, I'm just saying those posts are a good visualization of two rising board trends

and everyone else is saying "whogivesashit.jpg"

sorry to take this convo away from the important, earth-shattering development that man with a CD called DIRTY JOKES may have said something offensive to people

argh, i'm trying not be be zingy, guys.

PrincessTamTam can fuck off and die now, thanks. Piece of worthless shit. Good job trollin'. Hope your family gets wiped out by a tsunami.

― 'what are you, the Hymen Protection League of America?' (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, March 15, 2011 9:56 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

So sick of this ironic distance or whatever the fuck it is that tolerates people joking about tens of thousands of people dying. No excuse.

― 'what are you, the Hymen Protection League of America?' (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, March 15, 2011 9:59 AM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark

Yeah okay captain sanctimony. First of all, I'm not trolling. I'm just saying that these are good jokes and I don't think they need to be defended on any other grounds aside from being funny. Guess that means my mom and dad should drown to death. I do think your whole outrage act is pretty phony and that you just want to feel aggrieved about something.

You're a douchebag plain and simple. The jokes aren't funny in ANY context, let alone one where a natural disaster IS STILL GOING ON. I'm sure its hard to understand with your "irony" or whatever fucking pathetic defense you want to throw up, but I ACTUALLY AM OUTRAGED. Not phony.

I wonder what Aflac's going to do now; find a soundalike or just use old recordings? I mean that duck is the only thing they have going for them right now. Ultimately I think they made the right call although I question how many people think that Gilbert "represents" Aflac the same way that say, Tiger Woods represented Nike.

I didn't really think the jokes were funny either, but this is what he does. I did find the 9/11 jokes to be hilarious, not because they were funny, but the reaction of the horrified audience was priceless. A lot of comedians claim to be or want to be known as being offensive and edgy but it's not like you can rattle people by saying the word "fuck" anymore.

I am pretty sure that guy has realized he's not universally loved by now. the jokes were stupid and distasteful but on a certain level I think it's better to just ignore people who do this rather than make it a national news story instead of making it into a game about how offended / morally superior we are.

Are we talking about Gilbert or Whiney right now?

i hate to be all deej about it, but what the fuck did i do?

It was a joke.

:)

also... i lol'd mightily at that roast clip. probably the funniest parts were gottfried attempting to explain the really illogical jokes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PZlXWekkX4

Walter Chaw: https://decider.com/2022/04/13/gilbert-gottfried-walter-chaw/

Feeling so sad that with GG’s passing we’ll never know for sure what kind of citrus fruit Cesar Romero had his boys fling at him… and we’ll never get a clear view of what was happening on Danny Thomas’s coffee table.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkjCROtJ1tk

Came across that after reading the article linked here: T/S: Lou Reed "Live: Take No Prisoners" vs. Andrew Dice Clay "The Day The Laughter Died"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOLcyPfrdac

From Gilbert's daughter Lily.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQNO-mVMuzY