I'mma lay your LOLs on the dresser and EXCELSIOR them shits with a spiked bat!

lol at og sin

Most of the Jewish stereotypes I learned were from "Totally Tasteless Jokes Pt. VI" and the like. And those I had to ask my mom about.

KC-area dude I mentioned said something about being "jewed out of five dollars" and I socked him in the guy immediately. I'm not really violent, it was just like an instant reaction. He had no idea he'd said something controversial, and we had to explain what he said and that, no, that isn't just a phrase

then you threw him out of your hotel

I watched "Conan O'Brien Can't Stop" on netflix (doc about his live tour) and he is talking to a young rural Canadian who laments that he left his ID at home and might get "jewed out" of his ticket as a result. Conan calls him out and the young man corrects himself and says "gypped out" instead.

sigh

x-p actually, same dude was attempting to make his way in radio years later and got fired off a St. Cloud, Minnesota radio station for badgering a local candidate about whether the community health clinic would have anything to do with abortions.

he went on to write the film Juno

fun fact: He's had a wikipedia entry a few times, and a couple friends and I have marked it for deletion due to him not being notable every time

I hate live free or die, it's so randian

― iatee, Thursday, October 25, 2012 11:40 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah but come on a licence plate that mentions death, you got to give up the props

― --bob marley (lag∞n), Thursday, October 25, 2012 11:41 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

all license plates imply death cause they are on cars

― iatee, Thursday, October 25, 2012 11:42 AM Bookmark

lol

pvmic, etc

phrase

― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Friday, October 26, 2012 12:28 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

word

― how's life, Friday, October 26, 2012 12:28 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

twitter

― how's life, Friday, October 26, 2012 12:29 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

autoreplace

― how's life, Friday, October 26, 2012 12:29 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

butthurt

― beef richards (Mr. Que), Friday, October 26, 2012 12:29 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ilx mad libs

― beef richards (Mr. Que), Friday, October 26, 2012 12:29 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

tit squib

― Come Into My Layer (Old Lunch), Friday, October 26, 2012 12:30 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

remove bookmark from this thread

― Mordy, Friday, October 26, 2012 12:32 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^ I know those are cheap shots but the timing was excellent

thread sux

love off rox

I have heard a rumor that the tMG singer once back in the small-small club days had a fan/heckler try to get his attention all night by requesting "screaming infidelities" all night. RIP fan/heckler guy may someone someday find the body

― Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, October 26, 2012 10:08 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hah

a wandering LOL:

I don't really buy the "semen is healthy! drink up, ladies, amirite?" thing

― *triumphant sauce horns* (crüt), Friday, October 26, 2012 4:25 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well I try to have 8 glasses a day but I struggle with that

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, October 26, 2012 4:31 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It's full of protein, isn't it? That's why I heard Boy George named his record label 'More Protein', anyway!

― The Jupiter 8 (Turrican), Friday, October 26, 2012 4:31 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The worst variant of the Guinness Diet ever.

― EZ Snappin, Friday, October 26, 2012 4:33 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://alecguinness.com/starwars2.jpg

― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Friday, October 26, 2012 4:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well played!

― EZ Snappin, Friday, October 26, 2012 4:39 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Damn, should have responded with

Brilliant!

― EZ Snappin, Friday, October 26, 2012 4:40 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

if you suck me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine

― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Friday, October 26, 2012 4:42 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh god

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, October 26, 2012 4:42 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"It's what gives a Jedi his power. It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together."

― EZ Snappin, Friday, October 26, 2012 4:44 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ruined

everything ruined

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, October 26, 2012 4:45 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

look you started it

― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Friday, October 26, 2012 4:45 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

midichlorian necklace

― seasonal hugs (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, October 26, 2012 4:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

boom

so to speak

― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Friday, October 26, 2012 4:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

look I was fine with the whole conversation until you brought in Alec Guinness

which says an awful lot about me, none of which I'm proud of

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, October 26, 2012 4:48 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh my distorted smile

― extremely loud and incredible hulk (some dude), Friday, October 26, 2012 7:48 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's a sociopsychotic state of bliss

― With extreme tenderness - flexible - always guided by the words (get bent), Friday, October 26, 2012 7:55 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what are you guys talking about

― Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, October 26, 2012 8:32 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha holy shit

fair question. answer: shit

http://www.deseretnews.com/images/article/midres/1026957/1026957.jpg

― buzza, Saturday, October 27, 2012 12:10 PM (8 minutes ago)

Morrissey plays American football?

― the ones that I'm near most: fellow outcasts and ilxors (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, October 27, 2012 12:15 PM (3 minutes ago)

mitt is murder

BOOM

a Rush and a Bush and Ohio is ours

mitt is murder

― buzza

A+

When I was a kid I knew that Happy Days was a sick fraud, but I did assume that the Brady Bunch perfectly represented the 70s

― turds (Hungry4Ass), Sunday, October 28, 2012 4:29 PM (37 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*BLOOMBERG SAYS AT LEAST 10 PEOPLE IN NYC HAVE DIED DUE TO STORM
*BLOOMBERG SAYS ABOUT 750,000 NEW YORKERS WITHOUT POWER

― stet, Tuesday, October 30, 2012 11:08 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*BLOOMBERG SAYS POWER MAY BE OUT FOR 2-3 DAYS, MAYBE LONGER
*BLOOMBERG SAYS PUBLIC TRANSIT IS CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
*BLOOMBERG SAYS MIGHT HAVE LIMITED BUS SERVICE THIS AFTERNOON
cabs can pick up multiple passengers even if they have a passenger

Jon: Nothing on Starrett-Lehigh that I can see

― stet, Tuesday, October 30, 2012 11:09 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*BLOOMBERG SAYS HAVE YOU SEEN MY WIG AROUND

― Victory Goon (some dude), Tuesday, October 30, 2012 11:10 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

irl snigger

haha took me a second

for a second i'm thinking it's some kinda smiths lyric and then it's like why would sd be riffing on the smiths

it was either that or *BLOOMBERG SAYS I'VE COME TO HATE MY BODY AND ALL THAT IT REQUIRES IN THIS WORLD

hahah

lol I was going to go that route

Oh man, can you imagine being a fly on the wall if Jobs was alive and was having a discussion with Forstall about it?

― d-_-b (mh), Tuesday, October 30, 2012 6:17 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

would have liked to have been a fly on the wall during quite a few Jobs discussions

― stet, Tuesday, October 30, 2012 6:27 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

just not for the discussion about WHAT TO DO ABOUT ALL THESE FLIES IN THE OFFICE!!!!!

― max, Tuesday, October 30, 2012 10:08 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

v python

Another mindblowing Wikipedia fun fact: The first half of Appetite is the "Guns" side, where all the songs are about drugs, violence, and city life. The second half is the "Roses" side, which is all about women and sex. Never noticed that!

― Poliopolice, Tuesday, October 30, 2012 12:49 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^from those same sessions, but never released, is a rock opera based upon Kant's "The Critique of Pure Reason"

― One Way Ticket on the 1277 Express (Bill Magill), Tuesday, October 30, 2012 2:00 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oof.

don't shit where you eat, people

― goole, Tuesday, October 30, 2012 10:22 AM (48 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

thank god for the comma

― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Tuesday, October 30, 2012 10:24 AM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

With some edits:

--

ban water

― charlie the luna (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Tuesday, October 30, 2012 11:59 AM (4 minutes ago)

replace it all with clamato

― charlie the luna (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Tuesday, October 30, 2012 11:59 AM (3 minutes ago)

This is essentially the Gowanus. Except the clams have gonorrhea.

― this update fixes the following known sugs (Jon Lewis), Tuesday, October 30, 2012 12:03 PM (5 seconds ago)

(5 seconds ago)

^ record post to c/p to lol's thread time

http://resources0.news.com.au/images/2010/02/03/1225826/256000-clint-eastwood.jpg

Why would you assume I was kidding about tourists going to see empty parts of NYC??? I think that's an opportunity you're much more likely to remember in 10 years than that time you saw a Broadway show or went to the Empire State Building or whatever.

― purveyor of generations (in orbit), Monday, October 29, 2012 3:31 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

everyone in the east coast gets blown today!

― Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Monday, October 29, 2012 3:32 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is a losing argument at this point but "blackface" is a specific thing and using the term to describe every instance where someone puts on brown makeup (which often can be offensive!) is stupid

― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Wednesday, October 31, 2012 2:27 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

idk man the one with the afro wig and bone necklace is pretty close to blackface, altho i guess they used red lipstick instead of white lipstick. obv i am using the term as shorthand, but yeah, i dont have a better quick term to go with.

― goatee-framed sphincter-mouth (jjjusten), Wednesday, October 31, 2012 2:30 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i get the criticism tho and accept it, chalk it up to lexical laziness on my part

― goatee-framed sphincter-mouth (jjjusten), Wednesday, October 31, 2012 2:32 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I had actually forgotten about that one and was looking at the rasta pic so I retract my pedantic bitching

― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Wednesday, October 31, 2012 2:32 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

we sure do have our pick of ninnies itt don't we

― goole, Wednesday, October 31, 2012 2:32 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i really don't like cake. well, i don't like icing/frosting w/e. when i was working an office job earlier this year, every time someone would have a birthday and inevitably have cake i'd have to be like "nah i'm okay, i don't really like cake" and everyone in the conference would be all "WHAT, YOU DON'T LIKE CAKE? COME ON, JUST HAVE A PIECE. IT'S GREAT, I GOT IT FROM THIS PLACE. HAVE A PIECE OF CAKE!!!!!" and i'd be like "uh ok" and then i'd just go to my desk and dump it in the trash.

― lil dirk (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, October 31, 2012 12:35 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's how heterosexuality felt!

― the ones that I'm near most: fellow outcasts and ilxors (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, October 31, 2012 12:37 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Trash cans full of women.

Alfred's skeletons revealed

http://www.lolbrary.com/content/378/happy-birthday-to-the-ground-16378.gif

you could have just said "no thanks" they didnt ask for your fuckin life story iirc

You... you were there?

For a long time, I went to bed early, without any cake.

pushing some pretty serious cake buttons

TS: cake vs cannoli