I'mma lay your LOLs on the dresser and EXCELSIOR them shits with a spiked bat!

ZS on how future Obama/Romney debates should be done:

how about a series of escalating uncomfortable situations? romney and obama just have to stand there and deal with whatever comes however they see fit. first some lady walks up to obama and starts calling him a muslim or whatever. then you find an extremist who hates mormons with a visceral passion and throw him at romney. this Religious Confrontation portion of the debate should actually be pretty easy for them as they'll make appeals to tolerance and support each other. but then there's a staged event where someone in the audience is assaulted and it initially appears that one of romney's sons did it. obama is somehow the only eyewitness to the event and is required to testify on stage, but every time he starts to speak his microphone gives off crazy feedback and jim lehrer covers his ears in disgust. then everyone in the auditorium starts making out for a few minutes and the candidates have to figure out what to do with THAT. someone turns the heat up to 84. the clocks are adjusted so that it appears that the 90 minutes have elapsed, which causes confusion because obviously it's only been about 20 minutes or so - or has it?! the debate concludes with a real life fire in the auditorium, and the doors are locked. there's a key that sits in a locked box between obama and romney, but the only way to open it is to answer some sort of trivia question that only one of them would know the answer to. but it's a really hard question so it takes a few minutes and meanwhile people are dying. something along those lines.

― down w/ obana...he is the reson were in dept (Z S), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 09:12 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

would tune in!

fantastic

debate house

with Pat Sharp

pretty dependent on context in the reddit thread, but

tell me more

― Mary Ty$ Band (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, October 16, 2012 8:44 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

like did he have a job?

― thread lock holiday (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, October 16, 2012 8:47 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yo, i seriously hate costco. but i love BJs.

― formerly r. bean (soda), Monday, October 15, 2012 8:09 PM (Yesterday)

well really, who doesn't?

― The Owls of Ja Rule (DJP), Tuesday, October 16, 2012 10:13 AM (1 minute ago)

was facebook the first website that really stripped away the Internet Handle layer-of-anonymity that had been standard since AOL or whatever, and asked you to just use your real name? when i signed up for it, the justification for that being okay was it was college-only and sectioned off by school so only your classmates could look you up.

anyway it seems like that was the beginning of the end for the screen name era of the internet, now people just stick their real names in their twitter handles or whatever like it's no big deal, when 10 years ago we were all being taught that the #1 rule of using the internet was not to reveal personal info

― ciderpress, Tuesday, October 16, 2012 1:31 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

getting people to use their real name was prob factor #1 in its success, imo

― 乒乓, Tuesday, October 16, 2012 1:32 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm

― Cunga, Tuesday, October 16, 2012 1:34 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm gonna name my kid tylerdurden08334 just to keep him safe

― there is no dana, only (goole), Tuesday, October 16, 2012 1:36 PM (0 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nothing mean meant by this, and i know enbb didn't mean it in a mean way either, but i lost my shit at

kind of reminds me of a mean-spirited "truth or dare" game I was on, on a bus in high school. I had to simulate a sex act with a chair, and was known as a chair-humper

it annoyed the shit out of me, but there were moments over the next few years where it'd be a funny punchline, so... whatever

so whenever you feel like getting pissed off at the burrito stall comments, jon, just take this bit of advice from a chair-humper:

it gets better, and people forget the dumb joke if you ignore it

― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 16:33 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I thought RS was responsible for that comment which I thought was funny at the time. If there's a whole thing around it and it's been following you around then I don't know about any of that.

― (✿◠‿◠) (ENBB), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 16:33 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i don't know this thing just reminds me of the cliques that evolve on here. even wcc has a handful of defenders and speaking up for when she goes on a tear about something. but i've repeatedly asked to not have to deal with this bullshit with k3vin and not one fucking person is willing to come to my defense. like, ugh, fuck this place lately.

― HAPPY BDAY TOOTS (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 16:35 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol chair humper

― (✿◠‿◠) (ENBB), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 16:35 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I did, too

i <3 you for telling that story.

god, if that was the worst thing to come out of that game my life would have been an easier time in high school

chair humper, meet mr tumnus

darragh otm, awesome in-thread QED from enbb

In re: Alex Cross:

--

Perry doesn't do anything for me, at least out of drag, so I just look at the poster for this as an invite to lick Fox's armpits.

(roids NAGL tho)

― cancer, kizz my hairy irish azz (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, October 17, 2012 8:39 AM (20 minutes ago)

hoping there's a nude scene so i can yell "hot cross buns!"

― da croupier, Wednesday, October 17, 2012 8:51 AM (8 minutes ago)

argh

― The Owls of Ja Rule (DJP), Wednesday, October 17, 2012 8:57 AM (3 minutes ago)

And from that day forward, DJP was forever haunted by the phrase "Tyler Perry nude scene"

― The Owls of Ja Rule (DJP), Wednesday, October 17, 2012 8:58 AM (1 minute ago)

Really the only problem with hot cross buns here would be the frosting.

is it possible to FedEx a punch

Only a donkey punch. Cockpunches have to go US Mail.

(sorry)

ironic, that my comment made DJP get on the cross

cross buns.

singing cockpunch telegram

I JUST WANTED TO BE EXCELSIORED

― mookieproof, Wednesday, October 17, 2012 6:43 PM (22 seconds ago) Bookmark

i hope it was as thrilling as you imagined! :)

snoop_head_shake.gif

October is by far the best Christian rock record ever made. In all seriousness, it's an incredibly overlooked record, both in their catalog and overall. (This was brought to light in a recent discussion with a self-professed "huge U2 fan" who had never even heard it.) The urgent, devastating, soaring guitar solo in "Tomorrow"? Edge's guitar work overall? Bono is his usual strident self, but there's a lot less chest-beating than on the overrated War, and the whole band is tighter, more singular, and more focused than on Boy. It's a strange and captivating record, and I wonder if any ILMers have visited it lately.

― Clarke B., Wednesday, 17 October 2012 23:56 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

why do I have this thread bookmarked

― The Owls of Ja Rule (DJP), Wednesday, 17 October 2012 23:57 (19 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the ilxor's lament

lol @ djp

William J. Bennett, a CNN contributor, is the author of "The Book of Man: Readings on the Path to Manhood."

― a hauntingly unemployed american (difficult listening hour), Thursday, October 18, 2012 5:17 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Betcha $20 you can't read just one page!"

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, October 18, 2012 5:18 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You don't know what an oxymoron is.

― emil.y, Thursday, October 18, 2012 11:59 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I can't remember if it gets the toughest stains out of morons or whether you break open the capsule and snort it to get really stupid really fast.

― The windiest militant trash (Michael White), Thursday, October 18, 2012 12:03 PM (31 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

no meat flaps

― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Thursday, October 18, 2012 9:58 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

no cry

― The Owls of Ja Rule (DJP), Thursday, October 18, 2012 10:01 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

- bob marley

― whitney huysmans (NickB), Thursday, October 18, 2012 10:01 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

actual lol.

A+

top lols @ M.White's post

^otm

I'd give the drummer a sympathy hando out of a sense of bald solidarity

― i dox in yellow gox dox socks (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 18 October 2012 19:29 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

...

Which bald drummer? They have 2 now for stereo bald hottness!

― White Chocolate Cheesecake, Thursday, 18 October 2012 19:31 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I got two hands, bring it

― i dox in yellow gox dox socks (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 18 October 2012 19:31 (52 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha

Lol

lmbo at all three of these excellent posts.

I stopped getting nasty emails about the Aaliyah death thread just a while ago actually.

― Fig On A Plate Cart (Alex in SF), Thursday, October 18, 2012 4:29 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*checks email script*

― --bob marley (lag∞n), Thursday, October 18, 2012 4:30 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

if i ever wanna talk about (redacted) outside of ilx do i still have to pretend like she's a talking dessert?

― lil dirk (J0rdan S.), Thursday, October 18, 2012 1:55 PM (21 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

j0rdan is it? oh yes, yes....i remember you from a kanye west thread....nice to run into you again, how have you been?

― i dox in yellow gox dox socks (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, October 18, 2012 2:56 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

glenn greenwald once stole mordy's bike iirc

― zvookster, Thursday, October 18, 2012 1:56 PM (6 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

say, you're not related to the long island vooksters are you? i think i went to college with your cousin

― i dox in yellow gox dox socks (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, October 18, 2012 2:57 PM (1 hour ago)

i lol'd hard at long island vooksters too but thought it was poor form to post it here

(for me to post it i mean)

for this rebeef much thanks

― velko, Thursday, October 18, 2012 1:44 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Can we debunk Ian R-M next?

― formerly r. bean (soda), Thursday, October 18, 2012

he tried to set himself up with his own mom.

― estela, Thursday, October 18, 2012 5:22 PM

context, history, etc

i only vaguely know who he is and that's still p funny

squee

all-time ilx posts imo

you might want to check out posts by this dude ian reese-morane or whatever dude's name was - very precious, anglo scarfy, his style/taste/everything was nearly identical to yours. identical. and here's the thing: dude was screwing his mom. so when alot of people read yr posts right or wrong they're thinking 'this guy fucks his mom' and alot of people find that repulsive, like almost as bad as liking gay dad repulsive. so maybe pipe down a little more, lose some of yr sparkle. or maybe just start posting as ian reese-moraine is on the scene againe that way you can borrow some of that motherfucker's immunity.

― j blount (papa la bas), Sunday, July 30, 2006

so maybe pipe down a little more, lose some of yr sparkle.

^^feel like this should be a line from deniro

and here's the thing: dude was screwing his mom

^alltime