Nult satis nisi optimum: Phil McNulty 2011/12

there could be a big fb post to come yet this season from the evergreen striker

the tweets don't really give him enough space to really show himself

he is all about the long form, it would be like asking bruckner to write three minute powerpop jingles or robert musil liveblogging wimbledon for the guardian

or felix to jump from the kerb

"Full of surprises this Poland trip. Two men appear outside my 39th floor hotel room in swinging seats and hard hats. Brave window cleaners."

Whatever next!

"I decided it would be best to stop masturbating to internet porn while they were there."

"Began composing horror novel, The 39th Floor."

He's got the soundtrack sorted

Phil McNulty ‏@philmcnulty Had some reaction to John Hiatt "Damn This Town" so I'll recommend the equally superb "Down Around My Place" - #2012tunes

Phil McNulty ‏@philmcnulty Had some reaction to the new Taylor Swift album so I'll recommend the equally superb new LP from Ricardo Villalobos- #2012tunes

blah blah Anal Cunt blah blah hashtag

"Ball seems to be moving very slowly across the surface in the early stages here in Warsaw."

shouldn't have taken that gigantic key of ket before the game, phil.

My first thought was "Michael ball isn't playing is he?"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20273167

he's back on form.

Gerrard travels to Stockholm as the only member of England's so-called "Golden Generation" - a title tarnished by the passage of time and persistent under-achievement - guiding the new young breed such as Arsenal's Jack Wilshere, Manchester United midfield man Tom Cleverley, teenage Liverpool team-mate Raheem Sterling and Crystal Palace's emerging tyro Wilfried Zaha.

he will have not been aware that one of the properties of gold is that it will not have tarnished

"teenage Liverpool ninja turtles"

love the way in a sentence so gigantic and unwieldy he still deems it necessary to call Tom Cleverly "midfield man"

That was the touch that delighted me the most. Feel like it should lead to a football version of The Music Man.

sadly he just missed out on his usual "man united midfield man tom cleverley man" full house

About Phil

Phil has covered football on regional and national newspapers since the late 80s and has been BBC Sport's Chief Football Writer since July 2000.

He has covered World Cups for the BBC in Japan and South Korea, Germany and South Africa as well as European Championships in Portugal and Poland and Ukraine.

Born in Liverpool, Phil attended De La Salle Grammar School which later had England striker Wayne Rooney as its most famous ex-pupil.

Phil's main brief is covering the Premier League, England and the Champions League and he can also be heard giving his analysis on BBC Radio 5 live, Radio Four and the World Service.

He was recently included the UK Press Gazette's list of the top 50 UK sports journalists.

About 30 places lower than Ben Dirs.

it's an astonishing level of success for a man who can't read or write.

martin samuel was the winner of that gong tbf

Martin Samwell

from his review of the year:

If Chelsea were in at the end of Dalglish's reign they also helped seal Redknapp's fate at Spurs. They could only finished sixth in the Premier League but replaced fourth-placed Spurs in the Champions League as the new holders.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20790851

Throwing shadows and avoiding the industry treadmill is very David Bowie despite his extraordinary track record that includes album sales in excess of 130 million not to mention his massive contributions in the area of art, fashion, style, sexual exploration and social commentary. It goes without saying that he has sold out stadiums and broken ticket records throughout the world during this most influential of careers.

Bowie is a seasoned songwriter and many will feel thrilled by the prospect of his return after 10 years out of the musical limelight.

Bowie fans will hail the new track as a welcome return from The Thin White Duke, however detractors may yet claim that the celebrated star should have hung up his microphone many moons ago.

Throwing shadows and avoiding the EPL treadmill is very Leighton Baines despite his extraordinary track record that includes assists in excess of 50 not to mention his massive contributions in the area of art, fashion, style, blog exploitation and social commentary. It goes without saying that he has enthralled stadiums and encouraged ticket records throughout the world during this most influential of careers.

not nult, but from bbc's live blog today:

West Brom keeper Ben Foster thinks it is "unthinkable" that Aston Villa could be relegated, ahead of the Midlands derby at the Hawthorns on Saturday.

hall of mirrors

His influence is spreading,

But Modric is still not the number 10. Mesut Ozil is and how Real missed the keen, outsized eyes of the suspended Germany international. Ozil's nickname at Real is a kind of fish, but Modric increasingly looks like the player out of water and questions must surely be asked of Mourinho's stubborn resistance to Kaka's inclusion in the side. The Brazilian was not even among the substitutes at Los Carmenes, but his input could have been invaluable in a team utterly devoid of attacking ideas.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21679869

this is full of awful shit.

Jose Mourinho, like the great opportunistic coach that he is, sensed the shift in momentum and introduced Luka Modric, who scored the equaliser while Cristiano Ronaldo finished off the job and ended United's interest in the Champions League at the last-16 stage.

With the possibility of favourites and recent nemesis Barcelona going out to AC Milan and the opportunity to eliminate the dangerous Real a realistic possibility, Ferguson will know a door could have opened here.

Old Trafford, with flamboyant encouragement from an enraged and literally hopping mad Ferguson, raised the volume but United were unnerved, unsettled and world-class players and coaches prey on opponents in those vital moments of weakness.

The Scot could, however, have been weighing up the potential for financial as well as emotional and footballing loss as there was the possibility for fines to run up faster than a taxi's meter had he revealed his true feelings about a night of pure but painful sporting theatre

With the possibility of favourites and recent nemesis Barcelona going out to AC Milan and the opportunity to eliminate the dangerous Real a realistic possibility

it's like some kind of dementedly broken palindrome.

Earlier this week Noel Gallagher criticised Muse and this year's Brit Awards, saying that music is full of careerists at the moment. He also told NME that David Bowie's video for 'Where Are We Now?' "looks like his fucking cat's directed it", suggesting the High Flying Birds man is developing an obsession with all things feline. Could his next album be titled 'Be Here Meow'?

that might be the first use of the 'the <team> man' construction applied to music

controversial former high flying birds man kilbane

What about the rebel groups?

They have proven their capacity to strike at the capital Khartoum and may decide irrespective of the ICC to relaunch the war. Peace in Darfur and with the South has relied on their involvement. The current negotiations on Darfur led by South Africa's former president Thabo Mbeki - tarnished by his failed "quiet diplomacy" with Zimbabwe – hinge on Mr al-Bashir remaining engaged. A genocide charge arguably weakens the already embattled former military man and could leave him with little option but to remain in power by any means necessary.

the already embattled former military man

arguably

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22446853
Following his aborted first retirement in 2002, there was never going to be the uncertainty of a long goodbye but the speed with which whispers about his retirement turned to a scream painted a picture of a stunning series of events.

lol

http://i.imgur.com/fvlnF5Y.gif

Everton were facing a rebellion from within their own support after revealing a new club crest. The new design does not feature Everton's motto 'nil satis nisi optimum'.

Last week I read The Unfortunates by B.S. Johnson, which is from 1969 and contains an early and somewhat prescient lampooning of Nultism:

"City will have to pull out all the stops today to beat United, with their star-studded forward line containing no less than three internationals, but provided City's Furse has his shooting boots on it may well be that the local lads will show last year's League runners-up a thing or two before their own loyal crowd at Home Park this afternoon.

Yes indeed. Thank Christ I don't have to write that sort of preliminary speculative meaningless crap. Just my own kind of crap."

that's perfect

i have been meaning to read the unfortunates for ages

He does appear to have perfected that mix of fence-sitting banality, ponderous syntax and inane phrases that no one ever really uses ("provided he has his shooting boots on" etc).

Are any of his proper Observer match reports available somewhere? Would like to see how they compare.

"we will have checked your card in a few seconds" - euston lloyds tsb cash machine

http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=5112

Takes a special kind of interest, admittedly.