Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"it's a fuck-us group."

― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, October 9, 2012 10:55 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Why is your divorce taking so long?"

― obamana (abanana), Tuesday, October 9, 2012 10:57 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

the shortlist:

Can't you just ignore the polls on this one and go with your instinct?"
"Let's face it. One side of the bed consistently outperforms the other."
"Sometimes I wish you would keep your performance targets to yourself."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/10/29/p465/121029_contest_p465.jpg
"This is normal..."

"Grill marks, you say?"

"Five to ten, but the judge was a client so I'm optimistic."

with most of them it's straight in and 'gobble gobble gobble'

"What's YOUR excuse?"

something about tina brown/newsweek and avoiding the ax, but i don't have it in a one-liner

"Well I'm not covering up for you this time, your poor father still doesn't know that you voted for Christmas"

ex+ winner..

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/11/12/p465/121112_contest_p465.jpg

"I'm not looking, but I think next-door are still dong their atomic bomb testing..."

If you make the noose, I'll do the hoistin', honey

dog is quite clearly mid-defecation, feel like this needs to be acknowledged

OK,

"Your shit or mine?"

Should be in limerick form, if you ask me.

ok ... just ... so this is probably rude but i'm just going to ask ... what is going on with your breasts?

so how do you like working at the jim rose circus?

i think we need to talk about our dog's worms problem

one....two.....

i'm shitting too!

i also enjoy standing in the middle of the sidewalk with no discernible purpose!

ok ... just ... so this is probably rude but i'm just going to ask ... what is going on with your breasts?

had considered something similar tbrr

"Dogpooling was actually Spot's idea. On sustainability issues he's straining at the leash."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/11/19/p465/121119_contest_p465.jpg

"This is my caption to the cartoon above."

"well, take a look! that's what a REAL numbers man looks like"

"1: thing lead 2: another..."

woman (to man on left) "Well I can't count on you any more"

Is there any other answer other than some variant of, "Connect the dots?"

"i started by connecting the penis dots and only connected the head dots after intercourse. it was terrifying!"

"maybe you'd like to join him instead?"

"Didn't you think I'd connect the dots?" HARHAR

Ooh, I like NickB's answer

"this is pretty much what it looks like"

"Don't think that I'm enjoying this! I've just seen his cock, it goes all the way up to 350 down there"

"someone mixed him up with the horse connect-the-dots below the waist"

"it was terrifying"

haha Goole

"it means nothing. i was only doing it by the numbers"

"who is he? if you'd just give us a minute, i'll give you a quick outline"

"Well why don't you tell ME what I'm doing in bed with a man swarmed by tiny fleas that look vaguely like numbered dots"

ok ok

"He feels like I can complete him"

"..."

"I did not have sexual relations with this concept."

"Ah, Professor Moriarty, my old nemesis!"

lol ez snappin

"this is where I draw the line"

2 in a row for Hurting 2!

"Oh please, as if this is worse than you and your 'Junior Jumble'"

"There's no 69 in Sudoku."