Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

I think "no worries" is pretty normal in the U.S.... I certainly use it regularly (interchangeably with "no problem") and I hear it said commonly.

It's mostly just annoying because you always say it with the comedy Australian accent.

nawurries mayte

Sometimes I can see where I could start getting that way with computer stuff. There is a shit-effin-ton of industry specific software and proprietary add-ins that I've never seen before and I managed to learn the very basics of it but there's just so much and I'm kind of crazy busy and I get a little "Why doesn't this just do exactly what I want it to do right now?!?!!!?!

Ha I feel you on this. As a programmer I probably ought to be better at keeping up but I know Excel 2003 pretty in-depth and I am secretly still running it 6 months after IT upgraded everyone else to 2007 (not 2010, that would be far too up-to-date for our IT dept) because fuck it I can't even find anything in that ribbon shit.

Also I started Powerpoint today because someone asked how to do a Powerpoint macro and I got all "I can do Excel macros and Access macros and Word macros, how hard can it be?" and then within ten minutes I was like "what is this shit I don't even, how does anyone use this" because it took me a minute to find the damn "start presentation" button and because macro stuff is different in Powerpoint for some reason

yeah i worked with someone who'd say "give you a shout," fucking annoying

i say this a lot, more like "give me a shout if you have any problems".

i feel a bit of sympathy for people who say annoying shit all the time, when you are in charge or have to send people emails all the time, or when there are 2/3 emails you have to send every day ad infinitum, it's very hard not to lapse into your own personal clichés.

i always imagine my team taking the piss out of me for this behind my back, except they're all so dead inside i don't think they ever hang out.

i often spend a lot of time trying to rephrase a daily email like "can you all send me your streams"

my biggest clichés are

"it would be great if" or "if you could all .... then that'd be great."
"let me know if you have any problems with this."
"any problems with this just give me a shout."
"let's go with... for a lead at 11am"

The ribbon is the bane of my existence. I went from an MS Word power user to a total chump.

I actually like the ribbon -- but it did take a little getting used to

worst is when you're scrolling up and down and all of a sudden you're racing through the ribbon tabs and you're left on an unfamiliar one

Do not fear the ribbon
The ribbon is out friend

You ribbon apologists probably miss Clippy, too.

oh snap

xp No. Clippy was unforgivable. :)

I'm not sure if you could do this in pre-ribbon editions (I only learned about it with latest version) but the ability to add shortcut buttons to things like paste values/border formatting below the ribbon made life soooo much easier.

I've been using the shortcut buttons for years #braggin2012

:)

clippy was a douchebag

*makes "whatever" fingers at VG*

all my menus gone
what do i click on?
IT staff don't fear the ribbon
nor do the keyboard shortcut nerds

I could possibly sort of miss the little cat/dog that you could replace Clippy with. Or the half-hour when I discovered you could trigger all the assistant animations via Access macros and watched them all instead of doing any work, anyway.

iirc you could customise toolbars in pre-ribbon versions? I've never really done it though because then I have to look even more dumb than usual if I use someone else's computer

I'm not sure if you could do this in pre-ribbon editions

y

menus aren't gone, they're just pictures now

FFM I'm pretty sure that's the only thing I have over you in Excel, based on yr already established madskillz :)

hold on tight, we're all going to get rich:

what if we manufacture keyboards that have the words "copy" on the C key, "paste" on the V, "cut" on the X, "undo" on the Z, "underline" on the U, "bold" on the B, "reload" on the R, etc? same concept as the dollar sign on the 4, asterisk on the 8, all of that. people are used to that, they understand if they hold down the control key and press 8 they'll get that other symbol instead. is it too much of a stretch to think they could could also understand copy and paste?

I can't really picture the old excel anymore, gosh. I blame being sick. APS otm about looking like a fool on other computers. Occasionally I try to use the macro shortcuts I've set up on others then remember its only set up on my home/work profiles.

ope, too late, i already did it.

i'm retired and i post from here now

http://i49.tinypic.com/13ynzuq.jpg

we could even put "italics" on the I

this keyboard is so rad they named it after me
http://world.std.com/~jdostale/kbd/SpaceCadet1.jpeg

it also doesn't actually have a Copy key like I thought it did but I'm not going to let that get in the way of me pasting it

FFM I'm pretty sure that's the only thing I have over you in Excel, based on yr already established madskillz :)

Zs I am glad you are the world's future
fuck many xps

finally, a thumbs down key!

xpost <3

I always customized all my toolbars and HATE anything where I can't.

Ie now.

mr veg got me thinking about 'how many mouseclicks' a while ago, and since then I've been shortcut girl

Hah!
When I was in HS my mouse broke and we couldn't afford any for a couple months so I became an expert at both mouse keys and any alt/ctrl shortcut going.

I call it "lexcel" <--why I have no friends

this made me imagine lex pretend trying to use excel, which would be hilarious

The ribbon is the bane of my existence. I went from an MS Word power user to a total chump.
― carl agatha, Tuesday, October 9, 2012 8:37 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm. fukken ribbon

xxp Watching my dyspraxic coworker do everything with the mouse (including selecting 60,000 rows of data by clicking on cell A1 and dragging the mouse to cell F60000 over the course of several minutes and several restart-inducing misclicks, and including copying and pasting 3-letter commands or variable names from the previous line instead of retyping them) would have made me shortcut girl, except I was already, so it just made me twitch and mutter

that would have made me homicide girl

When I was in HS my mouse broke and we couldn't afford any

When I was in junior high the little bit of plastic that held the mouse-ball in pre-optical mice broke and I got really good at working the mouse by putting my thumbs inside the mouse cavity and rolling the little metal cylinders. I even used Paint like this!

omg

xp That's expert level! I definitely manipulated it for a laugh when cleaning but never did much of substance.

The ribbon is the bane of my existence. I went from an MS Word power user to a total chump.
― carl agatha, Tuesday, October 9, 2012 8:37 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm. fukken ribbon

― skrill xx (cozen), Tuesday, October 9, 2012 10:41 PM (3 minutes ago)

Dammit yes, that bastard ribbon.

I think I mainly just painted straight lines during this period (art critic voice), but, y'know.

wow, lotsa ribbon haters

what if we manufacture keyboards that have the words "copy" on the C key, "paste" on the V, "cut" on the X, "undo" on the Z, "underline" on the U, "bold" on the B, "reload" on the R, etc?

That would look a lot like a ZX Spectrum keyboard (although it has BASIC commands on the keys, not shortcuts)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/33/ZXSpectrum48k.jpg/640px-ZXSpectrum48k.jpg

this made me imagine lex pretend trying to use excel, which would be hilarious

lol. I'd like to put lex p. and my boss together in an office that can only be unlocked by successfully creating a table in Word with a header that repeats across pages.

Like an office version of The Crystal Maze?

Richard O'Brian: "Welcome to the Office Zone. Team captain, select a type of game."

Like an Office version of Cube more like.

I was going to embed a youtube of the Adam and Joe spoof of the Crystal Maze with Star Wars figurines, but Channel 4 have kindly blocked it in the UK, which I have to admit is probably the only country where it makes any damn sense at all

"only one crystal have you got - complete crap have you been! shafted are you!"

(dear unsuspecting link-followers: please drink a lot before clicking that link, and then it may become approximately 0.02% as hilarious as it was to me aged 17. but probably not. it isn't actually very good.)

I remember seeing that on TV and laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

jon via chicago! A federal just in Denver just awarded a guy $7.3mil in damages in the first successful consumer popcorn lung lawsuit. Keep that in your back pocket in case your popcorn crazed coworker continues to fill your office with diacetyl fumes.