Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"it's a fuck-us group."

"Why is your divorce taking so long?"

"There are an awful lot of people working where we're trying to have sex."

"i said cock-us, not caucus!!!!!"

"this is quite an elaborate proposal!!!"

This isn't the hot-desking i imagined. PS why is the bed so huge.

I know we're naked in bed together but could you stop groping my left tit ok thx.

"You sure managed to invite a bunch of stiffs to our orgy."

"You've got to stop bringing your work home with you!! Get it??? LOL"

"When I said we should work on our relationship this isn't what I had in mind!!!!!! LOL"

"That's never happened to me before... but rest assured I have the best possible team working super hard on it right now"

"According to that chart the 'poles' are 'down,' if you know what I mean."

the "never happened" is pretty good.

"eHarmony is getting a bit creepy these days."

"It's the economy, stupid."

"it's a fuck-us group."

― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, October 9, 2012 10:55 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Why is your divorce taking so long?"

― obamana (abanana), Tuesday, October 9, 2012 10:57 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

the shortlist:

Can't you just ignore the polls on this one and go with your instinct?"
"Let's face it. One side of the bed consistently outperforms the other."
"Sometimes I wish you would keep your performance targets to yourself."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/10/29/p465/121029_contest_p465.jpg
"This is normal..."

"Grill marks, you say?"

"Five to ten, but the judge was a client so I'm optimistic."

with most of them it's straight in and 'gobble gobble gobble'

"What's YOUR excuse?"

something about tina brown/newsweek and avoiding the ax, but i don't have it in a one-liner

"Well I'm not covering up for you this time, your poor father still doesn't know that you voted for Christmas"

ex+ winner..

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/11/12/p465/121112_contest_p465.jpg

"I'm not looking, but I think next-door are still dong their atomic bomb testing..."

If you make the noose, I'll do the hoistin', honey

dog is quite clearly mid-defecation, feel like this needs to be acknowledged

OK,

"Your shit or mine?"

Should be in limerick form, if you ask me.

ok ... just ... so this is probably rude but i'm just going to ask ... what is going on with your breasts?

so how do you like working at the jim rose circus?

i think we need to talk about our dog's worms problem

one....two.....

i'm shitting too!

i also enjoy standing in the middle of the sidewalk with no discernible purpose!

ok ... just ... so this is probably rude but i'm just going to ask ... what is going on with your breasts?

had considered something similar tbrr

"Dogpooling was actually Spot's idea. On sustainability issues he's straining at the leash."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/11/19/p465/121119_contest_p465.jpg

"This is my caption to the cartoon above."

"well, take a look! that's what a REAL numbers man looks like"

"1: thing lead 2: another..."

woman (to man on left) "Well I can't count on you any more"

Is there any other answer other than some variant of, "Connect the dots?"

"i started by connecting the penis dots and only connected the head dots after intercourse. it was terrifying!"

"maybe you'd like to join him instead?"

"Didn't you think I'd connect the dots?" HARHAR

Ooh, I like NickB's answer

"this is pretty much what it looks like"

"Don't think that I'm enjoying this! I've just seen his cock, it goes all the way up to 350 down there"