why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

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^ pvmic

i know your nuts hurt! who's laughing? (contenderizer), Thursday, 13 September 2012 22:14 (eleven years ago) link

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/375898_10101692964976436_2047402178_n.jpg

Movie nerd aphorisms!

Hamster of Legend (J3ff T.), Thursday, 13 September 2012 22:35 (eleven years ago) link

ugh I saw that today too, barf

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 13 September 2012 22:48 (eleven years ago) link

no it's because we think our commentary is Tim Burton and everyone else's is John Frankenheimer

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 13 September 2012 22:48 (eleven years ago) link

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/644161_10151055764300823_559029431_n.jpg

I don't have *that* many people on my Facebook feed posting these things, it's just that the ones that do get posted are usually comedy gold.

Hamster of Legend (J3ff T.), Thursday, 13 September 2012 23:47 (eleven years ago) link

You never know who would love the person you hide...in your basement

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 13 September 2012 23:50 (eleven years ago) link

Maroize

NASCAR, surfing, raising chickens, owning land (zachlyon), Thursday, 13 September 2012 23:50 (eleven years ago) link

It had a totally DIFFERENT Oscar Wilde quote in the description – "Be yourself; everybody else is already taken."

Hamster of Legend (J3ff T.), Thursday, 13 September 2012 23:54 (eleven years ago) link

What if who you are isn't weird and random? Then what part of the advice should you follow?

emil.y, Thursday, 13 September 2012 23:55 (eleven years ago) link

I think it's saying you should do these things in succession. Be weird, then be random, then be yourself.

with the ghostly "YOOOOOOOOOOOOHHOOOO" vocals? (crüt), Thursday, 13 September 2012 23:59 (eleven years ago) link

I feel like they don't differentiate sufficiently between "weird" and "random." Like, should you be weird in a linear sense? Random in a normal sense?

Hamster of Legend (J3ff T.), Friday, 14 September 2012 00:03 (eleven years ago) link

maroize should really get together with the person who does all the most random shit once you get to know her/him

look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Friday, 14 September 2012 00:05 (eleven years ago) link

Noroxze

NASCAR, surfing, raising chickens, owning land (zachlyon), Friday, 14 September 2012 00:11 (eleven years ago) link

Mo'noize

look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Friday, 14 September 2012 00:13 (eleven years ago) link

no-one's gonna love you if you're out weirdin on the cliff

very sexual album (schlump), Friday, 14 September 2012 04:02 (eleven years ago) link

does that guy's shirt say "SUCK"?

look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Friday, 14 September 2012 04:06 (eleven years ago) link

c/d: people at the office who are into thinking of themselves as "crazy"

look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Friday, 14 September 2012 04:06 (eleven years ago) link

"you never know who would love the person you hide" lol I beg to differ *twitches, kicks dead cats under the bed*

frances boredom coconut (Trayce), Friday, 14 September 2012 06:03 (eleven years ago) link

My name is Summer, I am 15 years old. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I have no nose or ears, my ... ... body is... covered with scars. Didn't I tell you I'm dead. My dad..killed me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... with a kitchen knife in the year 2001. If you do not post this on to 10 other pages or groups in the..next 15 minutes, I will appear tonight by your bed with the kitchen knife that kill......ed me, and I will kill you. No matter how old you are - I WILL murder you. It's up to you if you re-post thisor not, but this is no lie. This is FOR REAL! Now, copy this and pasteit onto the walls of 10 other pages or groups Your time is runninSee more This isn't fake. if you copy and paste this to ten pages in the next ten minutes u will have the best day of ur life tomorrow . U will either get kissed or asked out, if you break this chain u will see a little dead girl in your room tonight. In 53 mins someone will say i love you or im sorry or i wanna go out with you Li

Three Word Username, Friday, 14 September 2012 06:10 (eleven years ago) link

My name is Summer, I am 15 years old. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I have no nose or ears, my ... ... body is... covered with scars. Didn't I tell you I'm dead. My dad..killed me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... with a kitchen knife in the year 2001. If you do not post this on to 10 other pages or groups in the..next 15 minutes, I will appear tonight by your bed with the kitchen knife that kill......ed me, and I will kill you. No matter how old you are - I WILL murder you. It's up to you if you re-post thisor not, but this is no lie. This is FOR REAL! Now, copy this and pasteit onto the walls of 10 other pages or groups Your time is runninSee more This isn't fake. if you copy and paste this to ten pages in the next ten minutes u will have the best day of ur life tomorrow . U will either get kissed or asked out, if you break this chain u will see a little dead girl in your room tonight. In 53 mins someone will say i love you or im sorry or i wanna go out with you Li

― Three Word Username, Thursday, September 13, 2012 8:10 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Friday, 14 September 2012 06:13 (eleven years ago) link

9 to go

❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Friday, 14 September 2012 06:13 (eleven years ago) link

the person I hide is too bad to be loved. that's why I keep him chained up in the basement in the first place.

look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Friday, 14 September 2012 06:29 (eleven years ago) link

Have the threatening chain letters and the image macros really not crossbred yet? You'd think they were made for each other.

Three Word Username, Friday, 14 September 2012 06:41 (eleven years ago) link

I have no nose or ears, my ... ... body is... covered with scars. Didn't I tell you I'm dead. My dad..killed me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... with a kitchen knife in the year 2001. I will appear tonight by your bed with the kitchen knife that kill......ed me, and I will kill you. No matter how old you are - I WILL murder you. I have no nose or ears, my ... ... body is... covered with scars. Didn't I tell you I'm dead. My dad..killed me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... with a kitchen knife in the year 2001. I will appear tonight by your bed with the kitchen knife that kill......ed me, and I will kill you. No matter how old you are - I WILL murder you. I have no nose or ears, my ... ... body is... covered with scars. Didn't I tell you I'm dead. My dad..killed me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... with a kitchen knife in the year 2001. I will appear tonight by your bed with the kitchen knife that kill......ed me, and I will kill you. No matter how old you are - I WILL murder you. I have no nose or ears, my ... ... body is... covered with scars. Didn't I tell you I'm dead. My dad..killed me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... with a kitchen knife in the year 2001. I will appear tonight by your bed with the kitchen knife that kill......ed me, and I will kill you. No matter how old you are - I WILL murder you. I have no nose or ears, my ... ... body is... covered with scars. Didn't I tell you I'm dead. My dad..killed me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... with a kitchen knife in the year 2001. I will appear tonight by your bed with the kitchen knife that kill......ed me, and I will kill you. No matter how old you are - I WILL murder you. I have no nose or ears, my ... ... body is... covered with scars. Didn't I tell you I'm dead. My dad..killed me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... with a kitchen knife in the year 2001. I will appear tonight by your bed with the kitchen knife that kill......ed me, and I will kill you. No matter how old you are - I WILL murder you. I have no nose or ears, my ... ... body is... covered with scars. Didn't I tell you I'm dead. My dad..killed me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... with a kitchen knife in the year 2001. I will appear tonight by your bed with the kitchen knife that kill......ed me, and I will kill you. No matter how old you are - I WILL murder you. I have no nose or ears, my ... ... body is... covered with scars. Didn't I tell you I'm dead. My dad..killed me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... with a kitchen knife in the year 2001. I will appear tonight by your bed with the kitchen knife that kill......ed me, and I will kill you. No matter how old you are - I WILL murder you. I have no nose or ears, my ... ... body is... covered with scars. Didn't I tell you I'm dead. My dad..killed me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... with a kitchen knife in the year 2001. I will appear tonight by your bed with the kitchen knife that kill......ed me, and I will kill you. No matter how old you are - I WILL murder you. I have no nose or ears, my ... ... body is... covered with scars. Didn't I tell you I'm dead. My dad..killed me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... with a kitchen knife in the year 2001. I will appear tonight by your bed with the kitchen knife that kill......ed me, and I will kill you. No matter how old you are - I WILL murder you.

i know your nuts hurt! who's laughing? (contenderizer), Friday, 14 September 2012 08:51 (eleven years ago) link

kill......ed

NASCAR, surfing, raising chickens, owning land (zachlyon), Friday, 14 September 2012 13:39 (eleven years ago) link

no matter how old you are i will always murder you

lag∞n, Friday, 14 September 2012 14:24 (eleven years ago) link

And iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Will allllwaaaaayyyyys killlll youuuuuoooouuuuuuuu

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 14 September 2012 15:11 (eleven years ago) link

if you break this chain u will see a little dead girl in your room tonight

I don't think these two events are connected at all

oops perhaps I've said too much

DARING PRINCESS (DJP), Friday, 14 September 2012 15:17 (eleven years ago) link

I don't respond to anything C&P'd onto a wall that exhorts me to C&P something onto my wall.

ella fingerblast hurls forever (suzy), Friday, 14 September 2012 16:28 (eleven years ago) link

what abt things that bet you that you wont

lag∞n, Friday, 14 September 2012 18:43 (eleven years ago) link

My grandpa would've never signed up to serve in the second world war if he hadn't seen an "Uncle Sam Wants You!" macro on his timeline soon after he got out of high school. So as much as I want to make of these things they serve their purpose.

Cunga, Friday, 14 September 2012 19:21 (eleven years ago) link

awful lot of setup for not much punchline

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 15 September 2012 01:26 (eleven years ago) link

what a horribly formed joke

lag∞n, Saturday, 15 September 2012 01:27 (eleven years ago) link

I like a lot of those science cat jokes, but that one is tenuous. Still chuckled slightly, mind you. (Kill me.)

emil.y, Saturday, 15 September 2012 01:33 (eleven years ago) link

needs an ermahgerd

❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Saturday, 15 September 2012 01:36 (eleven years ago) link

someone should do this one: I am a whale and I swim around all day eating sKRILLex (with lots of tiny krill drawn to look like little skrillexes floating in the ocean)

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 15 September 2012 01:44 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdVHZwI8pcA

❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Saturday, 15 September 2012 01:53 (eleven years ago) link

the use of the word "alkali" in that joke especially bugs me for some reason xposts

gesange der yuengling (crüt), Saturday, 15 September 2012 01:55 (eleven years ago) link

indefensible

the most astonishing writer on ilx (roxymuzak), Saturday, 15 September 2012 01:56 (eleven years ago) link

man, i've got some real winners tonight:

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/262810_469199819777947_1287444383_n.jpg

TOP FEMALE LAWYER & CARTOONIST FOR 2011: (donna rouge), Saturday, 15 September 2012 02:46 (eleven years ago) link

*peers into the mind of a silent Adriana lima*
*it is a toy monkey banging crash cymbals together*

Farrah Abraham had many songs/ many songs had Farrah Abraham (m bison), Saturday, 15 September 2012 02:48 (eleven years ago) link

sighhhh

lord sitar and peter gunz (get bent), Saturday, 15 September 2012 02:48 (eleven years ago) link

when a girl is silent she's probably asleep. AM I RIGHT, FELLAS? CAN I GET AN AMEN? @rayromano

scott seward, Saturday, 15 September 2012 02:49 (eleven years ago) link

taken from the FB group "Boyfriends who actually treat their girlfriends like princesses"

TOP FEMALE LAWYER & CARTOONIST FOR 2011: (donna rouge), Saturday, 15 September 2012 02:49 (eleven years ago) link

She might just be having her fucking quiet time, jesus

emilys., Saturday, 15 September 2012 02:50 (eleven years ago) link

when a girl is silent it's cuz she's just WAITING for A MAN to come up and approach her/save her/whisk her away/etc.

lord sitar and peter gunz (get bent), Saturday, 15 September 2012 02:50 (eleven years ago) link


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