Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2PtsSKE4mY

Currently have 18,000 customers waiting for an important, time-sensitive item they've paid well in advance for because someone whose job it is to read a timetable and act accordingly had the date on which it was meant to be ordered for production and the date on which it was meant to be posted out mixed up in their head. I want to cry.

I'm finna send her that clip. xp

will you go to *jazz hands* LUNCH

I hate to admit it because I'm too cool to care, but it hurt my feelings a little that my weird coworker won't take an hour of her precious day to have lunch with me before I leave and never speak to her jerkass again. HOWEVER "will you go to *jazz hands* LUNCH" is making me feel better because it is so weird and great.

Like, I walk into her cube, say "Will you go to lunch? Go to lunch. Will you go to lunch?" and then jazz hands my way out the door.

i often feel vague unhappiness that total fucking zomboloids i work with may dislike me, but i try to remind myself that they have never felt anything with any real strength in their entire lives and then i feel better.

xpost lolz

My male boss has huge explosive temper tantrums (he never yells *at* people, but still). Today he lost his iPhone and commenced melting down. Then he found it and immediately calmed back down, walked by my office and said "That was cathartic." I SMDH at him and he said, "It wasn't that bad, was it? I was being tongue-in-cheek!" and laughed.

????

guy right behind me (in a call centre, mind) comes in, sits at his desk at 8.59, waits for the first call of the day, inhales like he's about to cartoon blow the fuckin wall down and says EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWW until lunch time. he takes an hour off, bums round, whatever, sits back at desk, another huge breath in, fills the aul lungs up good, that phone rings, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEEEYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWW until 5pm, logs off, goes home, presumably to a fuckin stable i dunno

― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Tuesday, July 17, 2012 6:26 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[…]

haaaaa

I solved it!

We just got a call in from someone insisting on caint as gaeilge- it was transferred to this guy, and he speaks irish like a warrior poet, and QUIETLY

― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 7:29 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this isn't provoked by anything but there is still something about this story that I find truly wonderful

Je55e, how would he react to a shrug and a stonefaced "you're the boss, you're allowed to offload all your stress onto me" ?

Ugh. I've talked to him about it before and honest to god, he was confused because he thinks he's doing the healthy thing by expressing his anger instead of bottling it up like he used to (one of the other partners has known him since college and he confirmed that he never used to be like he is now) and like his dad used to do.

One time his car got towed and I gave him a ride to retrieve it. On the ride, he was "expressing his anger," going, "I hate this city! I hate everyone!" then catching himself and calmly adding, "Except for you."

<3 who could hate a Je55e! I hate those kind of people though; I had a boss who'd get similarly petulant. Just "let it out" quietly and alone, fuckface.

a coworker of mine whom i otherwise like uses the phrase "no worries" on the phone after abt every other word and it drives me insane. i need to start keeping a tally.

I say that a bit :/ I'm australian tho, I'm allowed.

I say that too. It's a disease. :(

if you're australian it's fine because it's obviously of australian provenance, but it just seems affected like americans saying "cheers" (usually incorrectly). dude you're from michicgan stfu

i'm not sure how people from "michicgan" speak tho

I'm from Canada, not sure if that's more or less acceptable ;)

i'll allow it!

Timbits for everyone!

i'm not sure how people from "michicgan" speak tho

I learned last weekend that it really depends on which part of Michigan you're talking about.

http://www.michigan.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/The-Mitten-State_LOVE-tee.jpeg

what I am actually wearing today ^^^

Ha I thought you said he was from Michoacan.

"No worries" has crossed. over, IMO, and doesn't sound affected. But saying it in every sentence is annoying.

What about "no wuzzles"?

No puggles.

Carl and my friend who has a lot of communication with Brits bc she works for a British firm picked up "sorted" in the sense of "taken care of" "or "fixed." It's funny bc she hates my fascination with dialects and she avoids affectations but that word snuck up on her. It's an involuntary Briticism.

I picked up "sorted" from ILX, you jerks.

Nice one, top one, sorted

Do you say it like sor-idd

sordid

Got any salmon?

Remember how I kvetched that my coworkers get me confused with another coworker with the same first name despite us looking/acting/sounding nothing alike?

I put in my notice, but it seems everybody thinks the Other Jennifer is leaving this job and not me. I was standing in our admin's office talking to her and another admin, and our admin told the other admin, "You know Jennifer is leaving, right?" (referring to me, who is standing right there participating in the conversation) and the other admin said, and I quote, "People keep telling me that. What the fuck do I care if she's leaving? We never talk anyway." People had been telling her that the other Jennifer was leaving.

Sigh.

HR once brought the other Jennifer into a confidential meeting about my compensation package. The other Jennifer figured it out when they gave her papers to sign and my name was printed on the bottom.

Jesus Christ that is unbelievable!

It makes me feel like I'm in a David Lynch movie sometimes. Or I'll have little existential crises, like... am I really here? Do I really exist?

You should start referring to the other Jennifer as White Jennifer.

That would be hilarious but would not clear up the confusion.

I'll be Regular Jennifer and she can be Bizarro Jennifer.

And call yourself Mexican Jennifer.

Ah what the hell, just go with Black Jennifer.

BIZARRO BIZARRO I LOVE YOU BIZARRO

http://goteaminternet.com/img/docs/6880.jpg

L to R: my boss, Bizarro Jennifer, the Hymn Singing Security Guard*, the coworker who wouldn't go to lunch. Not pictured because I don't exist: me

*I was doing my thing in the stall and in comes the Hymn Singing Security Guard, singing a hymn, and she pushed open the door of the stall next to mine, stopped singing and shouted, "GOOD LORD!" I peeked in there on my way out and the less said about what someone did to that toilet the better, but it was enough to make her take the Lord's name in vain so you know it was bad.

omg carl, I'm glad you got a new job, but also SO sad because these people you work with now!!! David Lynch world + Being John Malkovich + holy crap crazy!

dying @ other jennifer stories, i would abuse that situation very badly i think

ultimate goal of course is to get paid but otherwise have nobody know you exist

oh i manage that most days

If I were craftier, I could leverage this into some kind of ghost payrollee scheme. And I wouldn't even have to be related to an elected official!

eh

so i was mini-promoted (acting basis kinda thing, in a department not likely to exist in another few weeks, but still) on wednesday. but complications arising from the fact that i'm on a permanent contract as opposed to temp (95% staff here are agency) means that the boss called me in on thursday to rescind the title and the bucks after HR raised hell.

i'm better off in that the work is supervisory and generally better (experience, cv boost, off the phones and away from braying mouths) but jeez i kinda wish he'd checked his facts before he told me i was getting a raise.

anyway.

oh god! What an immense tool. :( sorry darragh.