Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

'statutes, durr' would work too

"We usually refer to them as 'Mormoliths.'"

"Quickly! Display your soul's infinite knowledge in a format it can decipher!"

"P O L I T I C A L H U M O U R"

"why yes, we did post-humously baptize all these Jewish statues, how did you know?"

"Isn't this just last week's cartoon with toupees added?"

"To this day, their financing is shrouded in mystery."

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, September 3, 2012 7:11 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^they would totally go for this

yeah that one is good

"His Anus is made of Gold" - that they would not buy but good try

The choices for the 'detective' one..

"I think my wife is having us tailed." Submitted by Marianne L. Kelly, Lancaster, Pa.
"I know I was having trouble finding it, but this is a little extreme." Submitted by Gabriel Eiger, North Bend, Wash.
"I'll take it from here, Marlowe." Submitted by Bill Binger, Alta, Utah

meanwhile..

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/09/17/p465/120917_contest_p465.jpg

The middle one's quite good, actually.

xpost

"I don't no why they call me Shakey Mo."

Know, obv. It's early and I haven't had any coffee yet.

"Parkinson's isn't really suitable subject matter for this sort of joke, actually."

"I should never have put a quarter in this stool."

"Man at 8 o'clock watching us, don't look"

Something about this place just resonates with me."

that is uninspiring tbph

not yr efforts, i mean the pic to be captioned. it's just boring and there isn't anything to go on that won't be a coffee joke.

'coffee makes me shake'

'i probably shouldn't have another cup as coffee makes me shake'

' ok one more cup of coffee and then i really must go to the doctor and ask him to investigate this shaking, which i really do feel may be as a result of drinking all this coffee just like the cup of coffee you are currently pouring for me as i shake uncontrollably'

i probably shouldnt drink all this coffee what about that other guy eating the sandwich you are the waitress

hmm good effort bringing in the background detail but that guy is clearly only there in order to look worriedly at the guy that's shaking uncontrollably

"Huh? Oh no, I'm fine- but our cartoonist needs a fix reeeaal bad right now"

"He who learns must suffer, and, even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God."

"No, this is normal"

"Amanda Palmer just paid me off!"

"I don't think you're ready for this jelly"

"then i said 'pinking shears? woooooh scary'"

'i probably shouldn't have another cup as coffee makes me shake'

Literal New Yorker Captions

"Nope, still nothin'."

"That guy with the sandwich is frightening me."

'yes einstein, i *would* like a lid with that'

'on the plus side, i make a mean martini'

green door, what's the secret you're keepin'?

"I don't just drink coffee with some frequency, I drink coffee till it Hertz"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/09/24/p465/120924_contest_p465.jpg

"I'm Pregnant"

They seem to have put two pics up as the new one in 2 different pages: http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/10/01/p290/121001_contest_p290.jpg

"Excuse me, do you know if sheep are allowed on this train?"

xpost "Shouldn't you be out there campaigning instead of relaxing in a lawn chair? We spent a lot of money on this campaign bus with your picture on it!"

the finalists for the coffee comic are terrible

But the one for the hedz ones..

The PI/bed one, the only half-way decent caption came second. Popular vote, I guess.

Anyway, it's this one this week, after all...

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/10/01/p465/121001_contest_p465.jpg

"I remember when this was all fields!"

that's great!

Yeah that's perfect

what's going on with the guy's head?

I would submit that one, with the slight edit of swapping out "fields" for "pastures"

Oh, I submitted "fields" already; too english?