your terrible ideas

A collaboration between the Art of Noise and Terry Wogan called 'Close to the Edjit'.

(and such a collaboration would be dumb, dumb, d-dumb-dumb dumb-dumb dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, la-la-la!)

A kids' softball movie about a roguish coach who rounds up nine scrappy kids and leads them to T-ball success. At the end it's revealed that he knocked up all their moms within months of each other and he's actually the father of all nine players. The movie is called Absent Tee.

haha, I like it

Does he knock up all the moms before the season, and that's why he puts this particular crew of kids on the same team? Or is that they're all on the same team, and THEN he knocks up all of their mothers? It's important because if it's the former he's a Don Juan with a heart of gold, but of it's the latter he'll just knock up any mom who is nearby.

There could be a kid who rides the bench, and he's the only one whose mom didn't get knocked up. But at the end the coach knocks her up to, the kid gets substituted into the game and makes a diving catch to save the day!

I think you're missing an important element of the original synopsis.

lol

I think the film would also almost inevitably follow a plot arc whereby the team makes it to the t-ball world series, but then right before they're supposed to play in the championship, the moms find out and pull their kids, and the guy goes back to his little trailer home all dejected, but then there's a kind of climactic moment where one kid shows up at the trailer with his mom, and then a second, and then a third, etc.

Oh man, I am such a doofus tonight. Ok, so he fathered them all back in his vibrant youth. I still think he should knock up the benchrider's mom though

a grill-brush shaped like skrillex called the Grill-X

I'm going to teach my daughter to say "allahu akbar!" right before passover next year, and then when she says it at seder, my wife and I are going to look stunned and say "I have no idea where she learned that!"

Maybe it's a combination of re-reading a Houellebecq book and then watching "Inside Job", but the idea of legalizing and publicly funding monthly prostitute visits for men over 40 seemed late last night as if it'd solve a great number of American economic problems

"Seemed" kemosabe?

Well, considering that uh "progressive" nations are in varying stages of criminalizing/decriminalizing prostitution, i.e. in both directions, and in the EU there are all sorts of other specific economic factors, coupled with the Brave New Worldiness of the notion. But I was like "why do all these rich dudes need all this money" and after the most logical conclusion was reached "why not just get their pussy/ass on government dollar, out in the open instead of doing it so shadily".

I had the idea specifically when I was getting a massage and a guy was talking about how he was allowed one RMT visit a month under his current insurance plan

no, i'm just saying you're on point there

Maybe. The thought of ass in my future is all that keeps my nose to the grindstone.

and vice versa no doubt

hit the bong and then hit the gong

hold a party where everyone hits the bong on the way in, and then they hit a gong. after that they can just enjoy the party however they see fit

i don't really see why that's so terrible

A t-shirt design that simply reads:

SEE, THIS IS
WHY I SHOULDN'T
HAVE WORN THIS
T-SHIRT

with no other explanation.

A restaurant called "CRAP" that takes the whole hip comfort food a step further and just serves actual junk food at insane markups, like

"BALONEY SANDWICH" -- Oscar Mayer Lean Baloney, Hellman's Mayo, Wonderbread.......................$12
"MAC AND CHEESE" -- Kraft macaroni and cheese..............small plate $13.................entre $20

"It's really good, I hear it's the same chef as GRUEL"

I've got another one. It's called "GARNISH" -- all of the dishes consist only of condiments, garnishes, and incidental ingredients, e.g. "Bonito flakes, habanero aioli, rooftop garden cilantro, balsamic vinegar"

all the fixins

upgrade to iOS 6.

oh no, I already did it....

ARK AT THE PARK NIGHT - Get a free hot dog for every pair of animals you bring to the ballpark.

ARCLIGHT AT ARK AT THE PARK NIGHT

Get free movie tickets for every pair of animals you bring to the ballpark.

+ Matt Damon limited edition We Bought a Zoo bobbleheads for the first 1000 kids.

An alarm clock built into a vibrating butt plug.

two birds with one stone

An alarm clock built into a vibrating butt plug.

― a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Thursday, September 27, 2012 12:48 AM (13 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's a GREAT idea.

yeah i said it. #gaylikessexinthebutt

A female Springsteen tribute act called "She's the Boss"

"Dancin' With Hanson" -- a reality show that I think is self-explanatory

An online nuts & bolts etc. company called 'Screw U'. Mainly so that the people on the customer support line can pick up the phone and say "screw you" before an abusive customer can start shouting.

Earbuds surgically implanted in the tip of each index finger.

Maybe if Screw U had a bricks & mortar retail store, the assistants could be called 'buddies', and each of them could wear a name tag with 'HI! I'M <employee's name>. SCREW U BUDDY' on it.

http://www.uneedabolt.com/

growing up, i had a t-shirt from these guys that read "DON'T GLUE IT, SCREW IT!"

a biography of Steve Howe called "Howe's Life"

Gundam Style

(google suggests that i am not to be the first to think of this)

^^^ see also 'Gangbang Style: A XXX Pr0n Parody'

A retro computer consumables shop called 'Mr. Floppy'.

Also, the employees can answer the phone with "Hello, Mr. Floppy."

A chopped'n'screwed version of the Sopranos called the Baritones

A German 'Skyfall' parody called 'Durchfall'.

iPhone games:

• 'Counting Pebbles On A Beach' - a screen full of pebbles, you have to count them by tapping on them. The game keeps count, but not on screen. It also won't tell you if you've tapped on the same pebble twice, so you could double count some pebbles. After you've tapped all the pebbles, the game asks you how many pebbles there are. Get it wrong and the game won't tell you how many pebbles there really are.
• 'Press The Button' - a large button in the middle of the screen. A voice says "Press the button!", and when you press the button the voice says "Well done!", then says "Press the button!" again, ad infinitum.
• 'Watching Paint Dry' - just a static image of a painted wall. Out of all these games it probably has the longest playing time. Actually would probably be good value for a $1 iPhone game, because most $1 games you realise they're crap after about 30 seconds, but with this one, people would be staring at the screen for quite a long time wondering if something was supposed to happen.

'Press The Button' - a large button in the middle of the screen. A voice says "Press the button!", and when you press the button the voice says "Well done!", then says "Press the button!" again, ad infinitum.

Would buy.

can i purchase upgrades for different types of buttons?