Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Rayuela: can you cut and paste back into a Word document and then compare the two? (ie http://www.codejacked.com/comparing-two-versions-of-a-word-document/)

Sorry if this is no good/too late to be useful/something you already know about!

Hand to God, I wrote an email today that featured the sentence, "The question mark is in there because the sentence is a question."

Oh god thats hilarious. I had a similar wtf yesterday: "why is this customers username and password the same thing?". Considering they pick their own, HOW WOULD I KNOW. Customer is stupid?

Hot tuna is not a suitable office lunch food, especially when eaten at your desk in a small office

Oh my no.

A creamy tuna/mushroom pasta sauce is the only thing I've made in the last 10 years that literally made my wife scream when she smelled it.

My boss abbreviates "follow-up" as "f/u." So today I got "Thanks for the excellent f/u!"

Yeah, fuck you too.

It's unfortunate that it abbreviates badly b/c otherwise I'd use it all the time. And I do in notes to myself.

LOL one of the acronymns in fibreoptic rollouts is FAP which was making me giggle today as it was all FAP FAP FAP all over this land access design document.

I'm so childish.

I have maybe talked about this in this thread, but an old boss of mine (kooky lawyer with the most rudimentary computer skills) decided to try responding to his own emails, which he would do in all caps and treated kind of like a telegram, so opposing counsel's paralegals would get emails from him that said things like:

FU ASAP

TY,
Bob Loblaw

The rooms on the first floor of the south wing of my old workplace all have numbers prefixed by FFS.

My weirdo butt slapping co-worker can get really snippy and short sometimes and finally this morning I snapped and barked "Don't give me attitude, I didn't do anything wrong!" at her. The look on her face was priceless and she must have apologized about 5 times throughout the day because she realized I was totally right. It was sorta awesome.

Good for you!

That happened to me the other day! I was trying to be proactive abt my job/doing stuff that had to be done but wasn't required of me and my boss was being kind of bitchy and I just said sternly "I'm just trying to help", and it was like the power went out and she just paused and then got super apologetic and apologized like 3x in the next hour.

Yes! I bet it was awesome, right?

This must be the week for it! I mutinied Thursday morning when my boss and her assistant basically gave me a five gallon bucket of scraps and told me to turn it into a pint of strawberry jam.

hi 5's all around

All our work-fu is strong.

i swear my workplace's general blasé attitude really bothers me.

i am a lazy cunt at the best of times but i treat my job with a minimum standard of respect. lately i just lol at how lax my place is, people rolling in at 945 or 10 when it's a 930 start (but effectively anyone serious would come in at 9.)

nobody is ever told off for anything, and they're all paid well with good bonuses. if it's a sunny day some of them start whinging at the bosses to ask can they leave early, like fucking kids in playschool or some shit.

this was topped off last week when my boss rang in sick on thurs and said he wouldn't be in friday either. never heard the like of this in my life, someone pre-emptively saying they're sick for the following day.

he said he had tonsilitis yet he was in today, of course, "oh yeah antibiotics sorted it".

no coincidence that i was off friday and he'd have had to do my duties that day, as it was i had to do a megaload of work thurs.

i just can't get over how a big company has no discipline at all, you'd think it'd make my job easy and maybe it does, but overall it makes me want to leave.

can i get a job pls

The three (very nice) people who share my office never rock up before 10:30. They work late as a result, and they all work hard, but it means I spend the first few hours of every day fielding phone calls and telling confused-looking co-workers looking for them that they're not in. Which is really annoying. As is the inability of said co-workers to get used to the fact that THEY'RE NEVER HERE BEFORE 10.30 STOP ASKING ME WHERE THEY ARE!!!

when it's a 930 start (but effectively anyone serious would come in at 9.)

hate this kind of culture (thankfully absent at my place). fair enough some people might like high pressure and long hours and maybe the compensation is appropriate, but not for me ta. our core hours are 10-4.30 and you're free to work your full 7.5 hours either side of those.

7 hours, actually.

flexitime is the best. i'd struggle to put a monetary value on it.

i just find it uninspiring personally, that kind of environment.

I'd kill for flexi again, I miss that about public service jobs so bad. all the corp IT jobs ive had have done shit like writing you up for being FIVE MINUTES late. I mean jesus.

if i ever find an environment i find personally inspiring i'll run a fuckin mile tbh

why?

i come from a bad home, y'ronner

they only bumped me up since. i'm not gonna act inspired about it tho.

my stupid annoying coworker has decided she doesn't want to do something and (seemingly unilaterally) that I'm going to be the person to do it; it's a heap of shit which is going to involve lots of boring admin and nagging of other coworkers

she basically sent me a long email outlining what's involved, copying in the CEO and her boss ostensibly saying over to you. I've responded w/a stalling email saying 'thanks for this, we'll have a look into how we can help with this.' but ultimately I'm going to have to say 'fuck actual off, you're not my boss; if it's a priority that this get done on my time then ask/convince my boss not me.'

I'm finishing up my work during my notice period here and I've got more work than I can finish, which I have been very transparent about, but my coworker flat out refuses to take on any of it even though she's months ahead of deadline and has plenty of time to do the work. In fact, she was begging the admin to give her more cases to work on. Just be a team player, coworker! I mean, it doesn't matter to me one way or another. I will finish what I can and my boss will deal with it, but it shocks and amazes me that someone would flat out refuse to help out in a situation like this. What is the benefit to her?

Another coworker organized a going away lunch for me (<3) and the coworker who won't do any more work, with whom I have shared an office for nearly five years and have what I thought was a friendly relationship with has told me, "No offense, but I'm not going to go to your lunch." I don't think she hates me. She just thinks spending her lunch hour with me would be an imposition. She did tell the admin that she wanted to "do something" for me, and thought she would bring in donuts. If you want to do something, just go to lunch. Jesus.

(nb: I don't really like donuts.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2PtsSKE4mY

Currently have 18,000 customers waiting for an important, time-sensitive item they've paid well in advance for because someone whose job it is to read a timetable and act accordingly had the date on which it was meant to be ordered for production and the date on which it was meant to be posted out mixed up in their head. I want to cry.

I'm finna send her that clip. xp

will you go to *jazz hands* LUNCH

I hate to admit it because I'm too cool to care, but it hurt my feelings a little that my weird coworker won't take an hour of her precious day to have lunch with me before I leave and never speak to her jerkass again. HOWEVER "will you go to *jazz hands* LUNCH" is making me feel better because it is so weird and great.

Like, I walk into her cube, say "Will you go to lunch? Go to lunch. Will you go to lunch?" and then jazz hands my way out the door.

i often feel vague unhappiness that total fucking zomboloids i work with may dislike me, but i try to remind myself that they have never felt anything with any real strength in their entire lives and then i feel better.

xpost lolz

My male boss has huge explosive temper tantrums (he never yells *at* people, but still). Today he lost his iPhone and commenced melting down. Then he found it and immediately calmed back down, walked by my office and said "That was cathartic." I SMDH at him and he said, "It wasn't that bad, was it? I was being tongue-in-cheek!" and laughed.

????

guy right behind me (in a call centre, mind) comes in, sits at his desk at 8.59, waits for the first call of the day, inhales like he's about to cartoon blow the fuckin wall down and says EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWW until lunch time. he takes an hour off, bums round, whatever, sits back at desk, another huge breath in, fills the aul lungs up good, that phone rings, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEEEYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWW until 5pm, logs off, goes home, presumably to a fuckin stable i dunno

― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Tuesday, July 17, 2012 6:26 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[…]

haaaaa

I solved it!

We just got a call in from someone insisting on caint as gaeilge- it was transferred to this guy, and he speaks irish like a warrior poet, and QUIETLY

― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 7:29 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this isn't provoked by anything but there is still something about this story that I find truly wonderful

Je55e, how would he react to a shrug and a stonefaced "you're the boss, you're allowed to offload all your stress onto me" ?

Ugh. I've talked to him about it before and honest to god, he was confused because he thinks he's doing the healthy thing by expressing his anger instead of bottling it up like he used to (one of the other partners has known him since college and he confirmed that he never used to be like he is now) and like his dad used to do.

One time his car got towed and I gave him a ride to retrieve it. On the ride, he was "expressing his anger," going, "I hate this city! I hate everyone!" then catching himself and calmly adding, "Except for you."

<3 who could hate a Je55e! I hate those kind of people though; I had a boss who'd get similarly petulant. Just "let it out" quietly and alone, fuckface.

a coworker of mine whom i otherwise like uses the phrase "no worries" on the phone after abt every other word and it drives me insane. i need to start keeping a tally.

I say that a bit :/ I'm australian tho, I'm allowed.

I say that too. It's a disease. :(

if you're australian it's fine because it's obviously of australian provenance, but it just seems affected like americans saying "cheers" (usually incorrectly). dude you're from michicgan stfu

i'm not sure how people from "michicgan" speak tho

I'm from Canada, not sure if that's more or less acceptable ;)