Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

I'm 6"3 and it's done me very little good. I probably seem even taller in half the shoes I own.

I went out with someone who listed himself as 5'9" but was clearly 5'7" (I'm 5'8"). Then I went out with another 5'9"er who was actually telling the truth and as a result he seemed so tall!

I feel like you could make a sitcom episode out of this where someone goes on this great date and ends up getting arrested, but because the chemistry is so good the date accompanies him to the police station, but ultimately leaves when he's getting mugshots taken because it turns out he's 2 inches shorter than he said.

I just got a "You seem as messed up as me!" message from a lady who seems pretty cool and who has a humorously (and refreshingly) blunt profile. I acknowledged long ago that I pretty much need to exclusively date from the 'idiosyncratic' pool, so I'd prefer to find people whose idiosyncrasies are up-front and seem to be compatible with my own rather than the norm, wherein tamped-down idiosyncrasies of a much less palatable nature start bubbling to the surface somewhere down the road.

This may be overly-reductive, but it seems like the golden rule can be pretty easily applied here. Do you want to be lied to in a profile? Do you want someone to misrepresent themselves and try to hide their tics and neuroses from you? I'm genuinely curious. Maybe some people do. I just don't understand why. It's clear that I've honed my profile to the point where it's actively off-putting to anyone who's looking for some well-adjusted, traditional, alpha male, but I have to say it feels good to get the occasional message from somebody who seems to get and appreciate me, y'know?

I just changed my summary to something rly honest, on that front. I really dont care anymore, if you like who I come over as then hey, go for it.

But there's honesty, and then there's "ew why did you SAY that". Which Ive seen a little of. PUA's mostly.

5'7" is not really short for a guy imo.

It's not "short for a guy" so much as it's "shorter than me" which is the criticism?

Not really one I recognise, given that Thom Yorke is 5'4" and is sex on legs. Little, stubby, adorably short, little-boy legs, but still. Sex on legs.

i don't really have an issue with height and have dated shorter guys. actually the guy that dumped me friday was shorter than me. it's just pretty obvious when someone says they are taller than me and i meet them and they are not even close!

i have no interest in lying about my age. i do realize that a lot of people only search up to 30. but that's pretty dumb. do men really think women stop being attractive after 30? i.e. do they live under some rock and not watch any movies or look at magazines or consume any media aside from barely legal porn?

I'm not really bothered by it that much, and I've dated (sometimes significantly) taller girls who don't seem to have a problem with it. I just know that, tied with "I'm a HUGE sports fan!", "I only date guys ___ or taller, sorry!" is the most frequent dealbreaker I've encountered in otherwise appealing OKC profiles. I guess I'm glad that some people are up-front about it.

I feel like you could make a sitcom episode out of this where someone goes on this great date and ends up getting arrested, but because the chemistry is so good the date accompanies him to the police station, but ultimately leaves when he's getting mugshots taken because it turns out he's 2 inches shorter than he said.

Seinfeld SURELY has already done this? If not, they should have.

Hahaha people only search up to 30?? Well, if they want to date 25yos, I guess, they're welcome to. That's kind of a dead end as you get older, though.

I cannot BELIEVE people say that about height!!!

Although I'm short so maybe I just don't know how it is.

My age parameters are from 25 to 45, fwiw. Ten years on either side seems like a safe range. My only real quibble with the idea of dating significantly older women is thinking that my messy life will somehow disturb the tranquility my neurotic brain is convinced that they must have achieved at this point. When clearly there are people of all ages still trying to get their shit together.

I had a friend basically tell me that the biggest impediment to us ever dating was my height. This is a real thing that I've encountered a number of times in the real world, unfortunately.

I find that amazing. height has never bothered me! and I say that as someone who does have other v minor deal ... bothers I won't mention cos they're just as lame . height ain't one tho.

I knew a woman (who I met via phone conversations) that I set up a date with. Then she thought to ask how tall I was, after which she changed her mind because I was 1/2 inch shorter than she was. I offered to wear my high heels when we were out, which got a laugh but still no date.

It's amazing to me, too, but if you polled a decently-sized sample group, I'd wager you'd find more women who were willing to date someone they found physically unattractive than women who'd date someone shorter than themselves. I think it mostly comes down to how ingrained gender norms are in their brains (or at least how insecure they are about the idea of publicly bucking gender norms).

weird

i totally have something about smashing the patriarch in my profile. am willing to date short guys if that's what it takes.

I would love to check out your profile!

I'd wager you'd find more women who were willing to date someone they found physically unattractive than women who'd date someone shorter than themselves

Nobody should be dating anyone they find physically unattractive, that part is simple. The complicatedness is where being tall or "tall" or taller than the other person is made a condition of the attraction? Or something?

Yeah, I get that. It's kinda along the same lines of, "Oh, she has such a pretty face. If only she'd lose some weight...".

there's plenty of love to go around on okc. i'm 5'7" and had plenty of women email me, and plenty respond back. went out on dates, even had a couple of one night stands, oddly enough. the difference they said was "your profile actually says stuff on it." but i also got "why are you on OKCupid?", so dunno what that means or how it factors in.

Oh, yeah, I'm not saying that being short has been an impediment to dating at all. Just that there are a lot of ladies out there for whom it's a problem. But there are also a lot of ladies for whom it doesn't seem to be a problem at all.

lot of dudes disliking tall women, too

oh yeah, i've seen the "will date 6'0" only!!! sorry guys!!!" stuff. it's a little annoying at first, but if it's what the person wants how can you argue.

my profile is golden_bough if anyone wants to review/copyedit it. i got a flurry of new messages after uploading a goth picture of myself the other day but mostly from people with usernames like "KamaSutraman69" which is not exactly my key demographic.

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I wouldn't bother. I've historically put forth zero effort in trying to convince anyone who's uninterested that they should try to overcome their preferences/prejudices and give me a shot. There's a whole vast ocean out there.

Seinfeld SURELY has already done this? If not, they should have.

You're probably thinking of the episode where Jerry is deemed not sponge-worthy because he tells his girlfriend he changes the label on his jeans from 32 to 30.

Also the episode where Elaine thinks the guy she's dating is sexy because he shaves his head. And when he stops, she's disgusted to learn that he's balding. Hits a little close to home, that one.

Ladies who won't date shorter guys are missing out imo!
I dated a guy who was 5'3" once and he would rest his head on my shoulder when we were walking around with arms around each other's waists. I thought it was very charming!
Also short dudes can help if they don't get weird about taller/same height women wearing heels. Which I have had happen. After I got divorced I got a couple of pairs of heels like "I'm tall, world! Just accept it! haha!"

I will rule out people for all kinds of dumb shit but it's dumb shit people have control over, you know?

married dude (5'11") whose wife is 6'1" here to vouch for shorter mans relationships WORKIN
she towers over me in heels, doesnt wear them much but not on my account

crabbott otm.

While I feel like listing a height requirement is a little extreme I can understand the inclination esp if a lot of these guys are apparently overestimating how tall they are. I once dated a really tiny guy (like 5'3" and very very slight) and I can't lie - it became an issue for me. I hated having to admit it but it just felt really weird. :( It was a big difference though not an inch or two.

i was recently 'chosen' by a woman. on her page she's all like my dream business just went bankrupt, my dog died, might leave town in two months, who knows, my life totally sucks right now, etc.

guess i've still got it!

The last time that happened to me it was a satanist in clown makeup (like Emmett Kelly style not ICP style) who typed in all caps.

she's all like my dream business just went bankrupt, my dog died, might leave town in two months, who knows, my life totally sucks right now

WTF would anyone say that about themselves on a dating site for!?

bene gesserit do you want constructive criticism wrt your profile? cause it's mostly awesome.

WTF would anyone say that about themselves on a dating site for!?

No kidding. You have to learn how to keep the wreckage of your life implicit.

Haha :) tbh as it is I regret letting out any of my woes AFTER Ive started dating someone let alone using it as a selling point.

also screw it, mine's bali dj, except with no space in between the two words. very clever i know! my band's name sucks too, i'm not very good at coming up with clever names i guess. would be curious to have my encapsulation of personality / best foot forward ruthlessly critiqued

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Yeah. Hence the reason why I explicitly state in my profile that me actually dating anyone just now isn't the best idea ever. At least until this footwear hurricane has passed and I can be relatively certain that the shoes have stopped dropping.

i'll take constructive criticism! as long as it's not too harsh since my morale is not at it's highest!

well, i did something i never do with people who live in my own city, and asked out two people in the city i'm visiting next week, and have a tentative yes from one and definite yes from the other! that was easy! and both seem very cool. the definite yes is moving to brooklyn in a few months too so hey who knows.

well hey maybe i should just shuddup then!

but then again i already just finished writing all this out ;) i *hope* this isn't to harsh? don't take it as a personal critique, right? it's just how to word your profile ok?

so almost all of your page is filled with great, appealing answers that give people something to approach you about, and overall it's a great profile that should be getting you lots of attention...

BUT: re: "being happy with your life, having your shit together, don't feel like you need a boyfriend or a husband..." etc in your about me section... when i hear things along those lines in dating profiles i usually think "ok, she's *trying to tell herself that* but is actually the exact opposite, and perhaps a basket of neuroses as well" and it's a little red flaggy. maybe a like when a dude says "i'm a nice guy! no really!" in his profile?

especially when followed up at the contact me if: section with "please be on top of your emotional health and don't say meant things to people and so on" thing. when i read that i think "ok some guy was a complete psycho douche-bag to this lady, perhaps recently, and it sure made an impression. and now i'm gonna have to spend every minute of every date proving i'm not that guy, only to eventually say something innocuous and have it interpreted as a terrible thing. and then, worst case scenario maybe but not entirely implausible, have everything she wanted to say to the terrible ex be told to me, as if *i'd* done it to her, in a crowded restaurant, on like our 2nd date."

even though i'm sure this wouldn't be the case with you, that's kinda what i'd think reading that. sorry? i guess it's the equivalent of a guy saying "and don't be all X and Y and Z, i hate that! (subtext: like my ex-girlfriend who i'm still hung up on)" i mean it's a dating profile, just accentuate the positive and stuff, right?

also your pictures are all great but okcupidblog would probably tell you to lead with the second, over-the-shoulder shot and put the ones of you on stage second and maybe yellow chandelier/mirror shot 3rd? action shots and a certain kind of flirtatious look are Scientifically Proven To Work Better apparently

ok i am now prepared to have my profile eviscerated in turn :)

messiah, your profile was great with the exception of the hopefully tongue-in-cheek ph4t be4tz mention and also (old?) photo of you and soul patch.

messiah you dont look a thing like I expected for some reason. I dont knwo what I was expecting, ha.

(pic of jesus)

tongue-in-cheek is so hard to pull off over the internet! yes pH4T b34Tz is obviously meant to be tongue-in-cheeky but it's also a pretty accurate description of what i do for a living. fwiw when i said "A Woman Of Quality" ~500 messages back i meant it with a similar sort of intention - like, an honest description, yet recognizing that the whole concept is sorta ridiculous to begin with? yet, that's actually exactly what i mean anyway?

also, why am i ending all my sentences with a question mark now?

pic w/soul patch = me walking on the beach? yeah that one's the oldest, i wondered if i should keep it. but it was taken by an milano fashion photographer who does magazine covers! we hired him to take band shots when he was just starting out and as a return favor did our photos again for the same price 2 years later when he was already very sought after and god damn he sure made me look good so surely i ought to throw that photo in with the rest? also subtext: i know where some damn nice beaches are.

fwiw the rest are all pretty-to-very recent and in the spirit of showing my best side without actively trying to fool anyone into thinking i'm something i'm not