Better to be unplayable than uninspired - adventures in terrible gaming.

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That game has a demo, there is no reason for anyone to play that game :)

Andrew Farrell, Sunday, 12 August 2012 23:25 (seven years ago) link

John, you should post a video/audio review

Fiendish Doctor Wu (kingfish), Monday, 13 August 2012 04:24 (seven years ago) link

ok finished it. i know you will all think i am crazy, but it was infinitely better than i thought it would be. this is not to say that it isnt the most stupid and peurile game i have played in years because whoa it sure is, but the single player campaign is long and not actually bad. multiplayer is hilariously dated in a way that is hard to even describe, and painful to play, but you will be glad to know that there are still devoted maniacs for this just like every other shoot you in the face game on the planet. some particularly classy moments include slapping "wall boobs" until milk shoots out of them and the fact that if you hold up the ego boosting porn mags at just the right angle to the light, there are jizz stains on them. a couple of knowing moments where you say some horribly lunk-headed one liner and one of the space marine grunts in the area will respond with "uh. ok duke."

well worth $5, do not pay a penny more.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 18:32 (seven years ago) link

also, brink is turning out to be way way better than expected. of particular note is that the online crowd seems way less creepy than your average cod/halo/l4d peeps - no griefing, no attempts to fuck over new players, lots of avenues to feel like you arent shitty, even though i am sure that i am since ive been playing for a whole 5-10 hours. the vault mechanic or whatever is kinda meh, but the level design so far seems really solid, and the integration of changing objective based gameplay is pretty well executed. seems a little unbalanced in the sense that defensive chapters are way way harder than offensive ones, but that again might just be the way that the random allotments work. again, its sub $5 level now used, and although its no bulletstorm, its worth a look.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 19:00 (seven years ago) link

I'm quite tempted to get Nier at the moment.

Resonance Of Fate might qualify. Endless grind, almost no variation, really odd characterisation yet strangely addictive.

Temporarily Famous In The Czech Republic (ShariVari), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 19:10 (seven years ago) link

a couple of knowing moments where you say some horribly lunk-headed one liner and one of the space marine grunts in the area will respond with "uh. ok duke."

!

thomp, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 19:52 (seven years ago) link

there are plenty of times that you can feel the pain of some poor dude stuck with this ancient terrible character and letting his misery and distaste seep through.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 20:00 (seven years ago) link

I enjoyed Bulletstorm, I must say.

Fiendish Doctor Wu (kingfish), Thursday, 23 August 2012 06:49 (seven years ago) link

I have to say, my sense of humour has me wanting to play this just for the crying with laughter value:

http://youtu.be/pU84Da4gqF8

frances boredom coconut (Trayce), Thursday, 23 August 2012 09:20 (seven years ago) link

lolll. is the game bug-ridden or is that some kind of comedy mode or what?

emo mcgee vs ricky hitler (Merdeyeux), Friday, 24 August 2012 00:45 (seven years ago) link

skate 3 wonky physics videos are basically my favorite thing ever, cannot imagine the game lives up to the youtubes

The muted sensation feels amazeballs. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 24 August 2012 01:10 (seven years ago) link

I think its just bug ridden from what I can understand! It is so fucking funny to watch. Sort of like a Gary's Mod, only on accident.

frances boredom coconut (Trayce), Friday, 24 August 2012 01:16 (seven years ago) link

Every time I watch one of those it makes me wonder why I've never picked it up.

EZ Snappin, Friday, 24 August 2012 01:29 (seven years ago) link

it is on my list. no surprise there i guess.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Friday, 24 August 2012 04:24 (seven years ago) link

Yeah, that looks totally Garys Mod.

Fiendish Doctor Wu (kingfish), Friday, 24 August 2012 04:56 (seven years ago) link

Why yes, I am playing Red Faction: Armageddon. Much much better than expected, but still a huge bummer if you go in expecting Red Faction : Guerilla part 2.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:23 (seven years ago) link

I think I convinced my friend to buy Skate 3 after sharing that video w/ him over the weekend.

cwkiii, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:24 (seven years ago) link

xp the prospect is just too sad. Guerilla was wonderfully smashy.

Nhex, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:28 (seven years ago) link

well theres still plenty of smashy, the magnet gun in particular is v v satisfying and is working with some pretty impressive behind the scenes physics and mass calculations. the big issue is that its very linear, and the destructo is less fun in the underground crawl sections (although not always!)

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:39 (seven years ago) link

feels weirdly dead spacey in some ways? also, if you see a mech, use it. plz note: i would be less happy with this if i had not picked it up for $5 at the pawn shop

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:40 (seven years ago) link

word, word

Nhex, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:43 (seven years ago) link

I bought Skate 3 on Monday. It's awesome but I haven't had any cool glitches.

EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:56 (seven years ago) link

I just enjoyed a nice, long bout of Skate 3 video induced laughter. Thank you so much for that gift.

Old Lunch, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 20:01 (seven years ago) link

future entries in this thread: http://www.gameinformer.com/games/lococycle/b/xbox360/archive/2012/08/29/lococycle-debut-trailer.aspx

40oz of tears (Jordan), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 20:03 (seven years ago) link

Bought Duke Nukem Forever off Amazon for £2 today. genuinely so excited to play this.

anyone in here played Doritos Crash Course?

Blue Collar Retail Assistant (Dwight Yorke), Thursday, 30 August 2012 23:45 (seven years ago) link

omg just bought Deadly Premonition

zappi, Friday, 31 August 2012 17:47 (seven years ago) link

You are in for such a treat

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Friday, 31 August 2012 19:27 (seven years ago) link

this game is fucking terrible

Blue Collar Retail Assistant (Dwight Yorke), Monday, 3 September 2012 00:25 (seven years ago) link

jjj, your obvious love for deadly prem has finally convinced me to order it.

Mordy, Monday, 3 September 2012 00:34 (seven years ago) link

anyone ever play this one?
http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/michigan/michigan.htm

looks bonkers.

original bgm, Monday, 3 September 2012 02:16 (seven years ago) link

http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/michigan/main/066.jpg

original bgm, Monday, 3 September 2012 02:27 (seven years ago) link

yeah, that's a great article and summary, to the point where i do not feel the need to actually play the game. go HG101!

Nhex, Monday, 3 September 2012 06:39 (seven years ago) link

one year passes...

Ride to hell: retribution just dropped to $10 used at my local gamestop, so it's on

ACA: not bad, needs more death panels (jjjusten), Friday, 11 October 2013 06:03 (six years ago) link

Admittedly this feels like less of a good idea now that I am not drunk and it isn't the middle of the night, but now I feel like I have locked in my commitment to the cause.

ACA: not bad, needs more death panels (jjjusten), Friday, 11 October 2013 18:37 (six years ago) link

lol

Bitch Fantastic (DJP), Friday, 11 October 2013 18:40 (six years ago) link

btw I think someone has rounded up and burned every existing copy of Nier, I can't find it anywhere

Bitch Fantastic (DJP), Friday, 11 October 2013 18:40 (six years ago) link

i would watch a jjj let's play of daikatana

Mordy , Friday, 11 October 2013 19:12 (six years ago) link

You know, the Game of Thrones game is in this week's humble bundle.

JimD, Friday, 11 October 2013 22:41 (six years ago) link

i heard it's actually not as bad as they say

Nhex, Friday, 11 October 2013 23:52 (six years ago) link

Oh man I hit the motherlode

Ride to hell
Darkness 2
Afro samurai
Homefront
The saboteur (this is not terrible but nobody cared abt it and now I have it for ps3)

ACA: not bad, needs more death panels (jjjusten), Saturday, 12 October 2013 01:33 (six years ago) link

Ok so the big plus to buying terrible games on ps3 is no one bothers to make you download any updates because no one gives a shit. Coming for you ride to hell.

ACA: not bad, needs more death panels (jjjusten), Saturday, 12 October 2013 05:04 (six years ago) link

Wow even the start screen looks like low res garbage

ACA: not bad, needs more death panels (jjjusten), Saturday, 12 October 2013 05:05 (six years ago) link

Oh
My
God

ACA: not bad, needs more death panels (jjjusten), Saturday, 12 October 2013 05:08 (six years ago) link

This is worth the $8 already just due to the insane senseless intro and shock inducingly terrible mind blowing script. Like srsly magic stupid oh man I am going to love this game.

ACA: not bad, needs more death panels (jjjusten), Saturday, 12 October 2013 05:12 (six years ago) link

I think the controller shakes any time you are on a bike because uh motorcycle? Gameplay is super crazy terrible

ACA: not bad, needs more death panels (jjjusten), Saturday, 12 October 2013 05:20 (six years ago) link

There is so much bad dialogue I can't even catch it all.

"You look like an old baby cow. You ever slice the ear off a baby cow? It's funny"

I shit you not.

ACA: not bad, needs more death panels (jjjusten), Saturday, 12 October 2013 05:24 (six years ago) link

lol I'm so glad you bumped this thread and gave me the chance to read it

Andrew Kornfan, Saturday, 12 October 2013 10:48 (six years ago) link

the saboteur is properly great, don't put it in this cruel cruel thread :(

NI, Saturday, 12 October 2013 16:12 (six years ago) link

oh man you have me tempted to run out and buy this right now

papa smango (fadanuf4erybody), Saturday, 12 October 2013 22:40 (six years ago) link

a friend picked up the Alone in the Dark reboot mentioned way upthread as a gag and oh my god this is really something

papa smango (fadanuf4erybody), Wednesday, 11 December 2013 01:55 (five years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Aliens: Colonial Marines for PC download, $1.99 just for today. Comes with coupon for $5 off an Amazon download next month, they're usually pretty good with their "Best Of" selection in January.

Nhex, Thursday, 26 December 2013 02:14 (five years ago) link

two weeks pass...

dudes i want to talk about Anarchy Reigns

Wendy Carlos Williams (jjjusten), Monday, 13 January 2014 18:34 (five years ago) link

so its a sequel (kind of?) to madworld, closed world beat-em-up that is also apparently a 20ish character fighting game as well - im hot garbage with regards to fighters, so i am not a good judge. dumb as a brick in many ways, weird "why is this here" vehicle timed lap racing sections, no attempt at even vague coherency, interspersed with completely out of character and hamfisted "touching" dead kid storyline. its a glorious god damn mess so far, not as broken as ride to hell (which well jesus i dont know if anything in recent memory is that broken) but so bafflingly out of step with videogames of the modern day that it is quite refreshing. its no bulletstorm, but its cheap as dirt and solidly in the spirit of this thread.

Wendy Carlos Williams (jjjusten), Monday, 13 January 2014 18:43 (five years ago) link

sounds fun, will wait for $5

Nhex, Monday, 13 January 2014 20:57 (five years ago) link

just learned about this stinker recently
http://www.gameinformer.com/games/dark/b/xbox360/archive/2013/07/09/a-vampire-who-sucks-at-everything.aspx

hang son doong (am0n), Monday, 13 January 2014 22:56 (five years ago) link

lol the voice acting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vczVtwQi8LY

hang son doong (am0n), Monday, 13 January 2014 22:58 (five years ago) link

jesus that music

this harmless group of nerds and the women that love them (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 06:14 (five years ago) link

Ride to Hell won GB's worst game award last year

Who is DANKEY KANG? (kingfish), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 08:39 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

ORION: Dino Horde is free this weekend (and if you really like it permanent ownership is on sale for $1 )

http://cf.shacknews.com/images/20130326/003_25155.nphd.jpg

u know u want to

Mordy , Friday, 21 February 2014 23:14 (five years ago) link

supposedly really really awful

Nhex, Saturday, 22 February 2014 00:49 (five years ago) link

The first good argument for me to own a gaming PC. Which I don't, so infinite sadface.

Corpsepaint Counterpaint (jjjusten), Saturday, 22 February 2014 03:05 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

daikatana only $1.5 right now on steam:
http://www.gog.com/game/daikatana

Mordy , Saturday, 5 April 2014 23:28 (five years ago) link

noooooo

Nhex, Sunday, 6 April 2014 01:18 (five years ago) link

jjjjusten if you like bad games and you don't have even a mid-level PC that can run garbage from 2006ish then you're missin out.

Andrew Kornfan, Saturday, 12 April 2014 04:05 (five years ago) link

I know! Curse of Mac owner. And it's a shitty "old" mac, but that still means nothing came out for it ever.

Corpsepaint Counterpaint (jjjusten), Saturday, 12 April 2014 04:34 (five years ago) link

eleven months pass...

Ohhhhh yeah, grabbed Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard for 90 cents on that recent flash sale, let's get stupid

a strawman stuffed with their collection of 12 cds (jjjusten), Wednesday, 25 March 2015 06:25 (four years ago) link

two years pass...

I kept seeing these two Skylight games (for Vita) pop up in PSN sales and became curious enough to look into them. And, well...holy jesus:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRtn_KG9jAw

You dishonor your ancestors with your emoji abstention (Old Lunch), Monday, 12 February 2018 16:07 (one year ago) link

Just to be clear, these are pretty much brand new games and not something someone made for their high school computer class in 1996.

You dishonor your ancestors with your emoji abstention (Old Lunch), Monday, 12 February 2018 16:08 (one year ago) link

eleven months pass...

Ah ha ha ha. Just saw that this is currently on clearance sale in the PSN store and came here to post a gameplay vid, totally forgetting that I'd already ragged on this irredeemable POS. Thanks for saving me some work, Younger Lunch.

Why have more than 1,000 of my bucks disappearded? (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 6 February 2019 00:36 (nine months ago) link

jeeze louise

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 6 February 2019 00:38 (nine months ago) link

Ah heck, why not another, it's pretty funny to hear the reviewer get pissy about trying to 'play' the godforsaken thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ41J-sGyXs

Why have more than 1,000 of my bucks disappearded? (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 6 February 2019 00:42 (nine months ago) link

To be clear, someone is responsible for making three entire games that look/play like this.

Why have more than 1,000 of my bucks disappearded? (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 6 February 2019 00:44 (nine months ago) link

i'm definitely planning to do a adventure into this world on the switch but waiting another year or so for the library to 'mature'

ciderpress, Wednesday, 6 February 2019 01:05 (nine months ago) link


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