Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

aww

Spinny not spiny. I am not a hedgehog.

I had a ton of fun last night. The dude brought his own travel Scrabble board just in case! I can defs get behind that kind of preparedness. We went back to my place for drinks & scrabs after mini golf. P clear the guy never ever drinks though based on his reaction to one gently poured vodka drink, which is ok. Played some XTC records (he's a big fan of them too! holy shit!) and gabbed and looked at comic books until way past my bedtime. It was really refreshing.

He BROUGHT HIS OWN TRAVEL SCRABBLE BOARD? Beckotts, this one is a keeper. For reals. ;-)

x-post. Was your date Michael Cera?

he's 35 but he does have kind of a scruffy Jewish Cera thing going on phenotypically

ooh good dates! i am v happy for you crabbs & wcc :)

i might go out on a platonic date with someone...we had a really low match (~50%) and couldn't figure out why but it turns out it is because he wants to have children in 3-4 years and i don't want to have children ever. meeting friends is fine and everything but it seems kind of weird.

Well, so long as it is a Platonic date and he doesn't think he can change your mind with the power of his sexy? I don't see why not.

no one is changing my mind about having children...trust me. it's not even a question.

haha i just got a 'quiver' featuring a woman who is basically beyoncé

thank u for ur vote of confidence okc!

someone just wrote me a message that ended with "you're quite a woman." something about that turn of phrase is odd to me.

"you're some dame!"

a load has been gotten of your gams.

I will marry the first lady who messages me and tells me I look like an urchin.

A spiny one?

You want to be made into sushi?

I don't not want to be made into sushi.

I meant "I don't see why not" in terms of meeting him. Not in terms of his sexy changing your mind.

Shocked at how many seemingly cool people answer yes to the question "Do you find arrogance to be a turn-on?", even ones who say in their profiles that they can't stand douches (maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I've always thought of arrogance as the main defining characteristic of a douchebag. Vancouver's a weird fucking place).

i love it when someone messages you and so you check out their profile, and then they message you again because they saw you visit their profile, clearly not remembering that they messaged you only yesterday.

I have a date tomorrow with someone who appears to be a real, live grown-up who likes similar things to me and can write very capably and appears to have thoughts that make sense? Kind of don't know how to what to think of this tbh. I think dating grown-ups might raise the bar for me more than I'm comfortable with--at least when I date fuck-ups, I don't have to worry about not meeting their standards.

That makes it sound like I'm not into this date, and I totally am! It's just...he lives in a more gentrified neighborhood than I do, one that I couldn't afford anymore, and that makes me feel...funny.

i've seen this episode of New Girl

You might need to think less about whether you meet their standards, and more about whether they meet yours? Probably not a helpful observation to make, but still. Unless your problem is actually "argh, will this person want to drag ME kicking and screaming into adulthood?" which is a different issue.

I...it's complicated. I think I'm also transferring some feelings from a previous sitch that was v similar to this one, but which don't nec apply here. Ho hum. Will wait for actual daet.

Well I hope it's fun at any rate.

Haha. Thank you for tolerating my neurosis. I just washed two buckets of nice tops so hopefully I'll have something I feel like wearing by tomorrow evening.

OKC experiences are also pushing me to the edges of my tolerances... sympathy.

Totally understand where yr coming from tbh, L! I feel... intimidated by the kind of men who are my age/older with established homes/jobs/adult pursuits. And really. they dont interest me either? Terrible thing to admit, but I am who i yam!

(think Im gonna delete my okc profile fwiw)

there is nothing wrong with not being interested in a person!

do you have to delete, or couldn't you just leave it there but not log in?

No I meant its terrible that Im not interested in proper grown up manly men, maybe! Well, who knows. Its never come up tbh.

I dont log into okc as it is . And the few ppl who view my profile are, I'll be blunt, *creepy* looking. :(

Lots of really normal-seeming people are undercover weirdos who don't wear their weirdo costumes to work or on their dating profiles -- be interested or not, but it's something to consider.

i haven't really found dating on the internet to be any less or more weirdo-prone than dating "in real life" even friends of friends are a crap shoot (not surprising perhaps considering my friends)

I meant that in favor of quiet undercover weirdos, not as a warning!

ha ha ok fair enough. fwiw i wear my weirdo card on my sleeve irl & on the www tho, why let it be a surprise? i guess i was thinking you meant the bad kinds of weirdos (there's more than one kind don't cha think?)

I think people will interpret weirdness benignly from folks they meet in bars and from friends that would set off alarm bells in an OKC context. We are snuffling, irrational beasts.

Errr. what's the proper etiquette with replying to messages. In my week on okc I've received two, and in both cases it's been pretty clearly a so-not-gonna-happen type thing. Is a courtesy reply necessary if you're not an asshole, or is no reply half expected?

no reply necessary

oh thank god

Also forgot to add "first" before week, as in I've been on it for a week

it might be mean--i am not good at judging such things--but i tried to respond to everything when i first joined and i quickly learned that all it does is create more problems much of the time

Lots of really normal-seeming people are undercover weirdos who don't wear their weirdo costumes to work or on their dating profiles

For. Real. But then I think I pretty much put it all out there in my profile (to the extent that I don't think anyone who met me later would feel that I misrepresented myself) and I don't think it does me any real favors.

Errr. what's the proper etiquette with replying to messages. In my week on okc I've received two, and in both cases it's been pretty clearly a so-not-gonna-happen type thing.

Yeah, I hardly ever respond to these. And they're pretty much all I get. I just don't think there's much necessity in writing, "Not much is up, person with whom I appear to have very little in common, but I'm glad to hear that you also enjoy music. Is there anything else I can help you with?".

i SO don't write short stupid messages like that. i pretty much only message girls i have something in common with, who's pics make them look like someone i'd have a good shot at mutual attraction with if we met in real life. i write shortish-but-fully-literate, no-misspellings messages referencing stuff they talk about, maybe make a topical joke if i can think of one, and a leading question so they can write back easily if they're interested...

...and maybe one lady in 10 responds at all. ok maybe one in 5. which is fine! i understand that's more or less what the ratios are like. but remember ladies for every woman out there going "ugh who are these guys, do they think this would actually work?!?!" there's a perfectly nice guy going "what's up with 20 cold shoulders in a row, am i that horrible ffs?!?!?"

who's whose

guess that's why 4 women out of 5 don't answer my messages then! phew, i thought it was cause i was bald and overweight.

no wonder i can't get a date!

Ha ha, no, it's just funny that it's one of those guaranteed Things On The Internet that if you make a post talking about one's own literacy or lack of spelling or grammatical errors, it's absolutely guaranteed you will make at least one completely ridiculous spelling or grammar error. It is the Way Of Things.

i actually control-clicked the one red underlined word i typed and changed it and everything! now i guess i have to go through my entire okcupid profile again for grammar errors :/

Hey I will regret this later but if anyone wants to look at my profile and see what they think, look up a cocteau twins + harold budd song starting with memory.