Put on a sweater and the Vampire Weekend record and just be all like "it took my decorator ages to pick out this soap scum"
― nabisco, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:00 (fifteen years ago) link
And then, if this is a romantic visit and it goes well, when you drop your pants you have to say "ladies and gentlemen, BURT STANTON"
― nabisco, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:01 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.geocities.com/don_homer.rm/Sven.jpg
― Ashee Bolanalli (Mackro Mackro), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:01 (fifteen years ago) link
burt is your guest one of your many female law student admirers
― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:02 (fifteen years ago) link
pay a hardcore band to hang out at your place and tell your guest it's a squat
― crackers is biters (M@tt He1ges0n), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:02 (fifteen years ago) link
MY COLLECTION OF RARE... AND GRINDING... DUST BUNNNEEEEEZ....... VIOLATED!
― Ashee Bolanalli (Mackro Mackro), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:02 (fifteen years ago) link
why the hell are you leaving stained underpants hanging on your closet...? like not any part of that makes any sense. the rest of it does, but that part. i mean, just think about this:
1) if the underpants are dirty, why would you put them back in the closet?2) who puts even clean underpants in the closet anyway?
what is this!!!
― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:03 (fifteen years ago) link
yes it is max. and the reason no one visits me is I live nowhere near public transport. Also I smell weird.
― burt_stanton, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:04 (fifteen years ago) link
schef, it's because his roommate painted the stained underwear like easter eggs
― Ashee Bolanalli (Mackro Mackro), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:04 (fifteen years ago) link
also if you have such problems with your underpants just buy black ones.
― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:05 (fifteen years ago) link
the stained underwear got there during a bout of Cabin Fever, where I was trying to see how many pair I could throw on there. 300 pairs and counting.
― burt_stanton, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:05 (fifteen years ago) link
will you liveblog your date pls
― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:05 (fifteen years ago) link
if nothing else i encourage you to post a rundown of the date on i love cricket
twittdate
― Ashee Bolanalli (Mackro Mackro), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:05 (fifteen years ago) link
it's like how girls have a collection of red underpants, for their periods -- buy black or brown underpants, so you don't have to wash them ever and can just continue displaying them proudly in the closet.
It's not really a date, it's just going to some trust fundy party in Broklyn Heights. I will make various notes of culture clash!
― burt_stanton, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:06 (fifteen years ago) link
the reason no one visits me is I live nowhere near public transport. also i like to fart and act crazy.
xp
― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:06 (fifteen years ago) link
http://api.ning.com/files/tcyVcdpQGHcXQND4cfKbXU5R07f6NsTYeSQx1H*OnEY6CgKULIu4QSqFOziXwVEb-FYrCdSj71BsBavsS*QfNEVf59*hMkF4/staind.jpg
― Barack You Like A Husseincane (HI DERE), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:06 (fifteen years ago) link
when she comes over tell her you're burt_stanton, from the Internet
― Mr. Que, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:07 (fifteen years ago) link
To be fair, schef, some of us have drawers or shelves in our closets.
Also I think burt prides himself on being the kind of guy who is awesome and living on the edge and just never knows when he's going to have time to do boring whitebread stuff like washing his underwear, so he's gotta hang onto the dirty ones just in case things get bad and he has to re-use the freshest-smelling pair.
― nabisco, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:07 (fifteen years ago) link
burt you should buy some flowers, chicks love that shit
― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:07 (fifteen years ago) link
why doesn't he just wash them? or do what i do: buy more
― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:08 (fifteen years ago) link
maybe he means Staind underwear, because he is a fan of Staind.
xp goddammit dan
― MIRV Griffin (goole), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:08 (fifteen years ago) link
Burt, just give her a tour of the apartment and go "that's soap scum, because I don't have a trust fund like some people" and "those are dust bunnies, because I don't have a trust fund or listen to Vampire Weekend like some people" and "those are dirty underwear, because that's how they do it in Philly and Berlin where all the cool bands move these days"
― nabisco, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:08 (fifteen years ago) link
buy more ass partners?
― Ashee Bolanalli (Mackro Mackro), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:08 (fifteen years ago) link
I don't have to do shit
― burt_stanton, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:08 (fifteen years ago) link
i have a daet tonight and a dirty apartment. no plans to combine the two, but you never know!
― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:08 (fifteen years ago) link
nabisco is on fire on this thread i gotta say
― Mr. Que, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:08 (fifteen years ago) link
burt_stanton where do you live
― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:09 (fifteen years ago) link
jordan if i were you i wouldnt not be on this thread bragging about my similarities to burt_stanton
lol, i wouldnt be
never forget the grinding dust bunnies ;_;
― Ashee Bolanalli (Mackro Mackro), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:09 (fifteen years ago) link
burt_dag style
― obi don quixote (elmo argonaut), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:09 (fifteen years ago) link
max otm, plants can also be nice in a less obvious way
― bnw, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:10 (fifteen years ago) link
from the GIS for "crusty":
http://beinart.org/artists/jon-beinart/gallery/crusty-toddlerpede.jpg
― Barack You Like A Husseincane (HI DERE), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:10 (fifteen years ago) link
buy black or brown underpants, so you don't have to wash them ever and can just continue displaying them proudly in the closet.
It sounds like burt needs some of these:
http://cache.net-a-porter.com/images/products/35512/35512_in_m.jpg
He can use it as a getting-to-know-you game. What's a stain, and what's part of the pattern? Where does Dolce & Gabbana end, and Burt begin? The fun never ends!
― Charlie Rose Nylund, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:10 (fifteen years ago) link
quote Quentin Crisp, "After 5 years the dust doesn't get any worse"
― Dr Morbius, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:10 (fifteen years ago) link
at least i don't have any dirty underwear hanging on things. i can blame any dirtiness on the cats that like to puke and act crazy.
― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:10 (fifteen years ago) link
well done elmo!
― MIRV Griffin (goole), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:10 (fifteen years ago) link
I don't have to do shit― burt_stanton, Friday, January 23, 2009 5:08 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― burt_stanton, Friday, January 23, 2009 5:08 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Yes you do, Burt, it's biologically unavoidable -- denying it is how you wind up with your underwear like that
― nabisco, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:10 (fifteen years ago) link
Wait, unless your ass partner does the shitting for you?
― nabisco, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:11 (fifteen years ago) link
now i am trying to imagine simon rex as a dust bunny
― obi don quixote (elmo argonaut), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:11 (fifteen years ago) link
nabisco that took things too far
― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:11 (fifteen years ago) link
Well, presumably they take turns until the seal breaks.
http://www.animalgift.org/atf/cf/%7B55F52B47-7B8C-4337-A5A9-2F3550FF3D11%7D/SEAL-INSIDEMAIN-V02.JPG
― Charlie Rose Nylund, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:12 (fifteen years ago) link
good strategy for tonight--answer the door naked, then just snag a pair of dirty underwear from the closet
― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:12 (fifteen years ago) link
I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit
― burt_stanton, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:12 (fifteen years ago) link
burt when you have a lady friend over what sort of music do you listen to
― Mr. Que, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:12 (fifteen years ago) link
I am just keeping it real, Stanton-style
― nabisco, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:12 (fifteen years ago) link
nabisco shat the shark right dere
― Dr Morbius, Friday, 23 January 2009 22:13 (fifteen years ago) link
I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit I actually have clotheslines running throughout my apartment where I like to hang my dirty underwear, and at night I get stoned, turn up some Einsturzende Neubauten, turn off the lights, and it's like I'm dancing under a sky of shit
― Barack You Like A Husseincane (HI DERE), Friday, 23 January 2009 22:13 (fifteen years ago) link
company's coming
― Soylent News Service (contenderizer), Wednesday, 4 March 2015 23:17 (nine years ago) link
Burt Stanton, Esq.: Cleaning your disgusting ass partner because you're having a rare client over
― five six and (man alive), Wednesday, 4 March 2015 23:22 (nine years ago) link
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1226904!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635/article-klugman3-1224.jpg
― bit of a singles monster (Eazy), Thursday, 5 March 2015 01:04 (nine years ago) link
best ilx titular typo? you decide
― Aimless, Thursday, 5 March 2015 01:52 (nine years ago) link
were Burt Stanton and Bill Magill the same guy?
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Thursday, 5 March 2015 01:53 (nine years ago) link
i like this thread title
― Treeship, Thursday, 5 March 2015 02:10 (nine years ago) link
just imagine how insulted you'd be if your partner told you they needed to scrub you down because guests were coming over.
― Treeship, Thursday, 5 March 2015 02:12 (nine years ago) link
uh
― post you had fecund thoughts about (darraghmac), Thursday, 5 March 2015 02:13 (nine years ago) link
xp ask a booty cleaner
― Mistah FAAB (sarahell), Thursday, 5 March 2015 02:26 (nine years ago) link
for lack of a hyphen dignity was lost
― he quipped with heat (amateurist), Thursday, 5 March 2015 04:27 (nine years ago) link
the ass partner as i imagine him
― CoolRadio, Thursday, 5 March 2015 04:53 (nine years ago) link
Burt
― looking for Mon in Alderaan places (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 1 January 2020 04:18 (four years ago) link
Is ads partner like a timeshare or sumfin.
― Stevolende, Wednesday, 1 January 2020 08:57 (four years ago) link