BEST/MOST "BON JOVI'S NEW JERSEY" ALBUM EVER

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Best: Dangerous
Most: Yeah, def Backstreet Boys

Eric H., Friday, 10 August 2012 14:53 (eleven years ago) link

xpost though the fact that both groups, esp soundgarden, had already suffered a drop makes it less than a crucial inclusion

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 14:53 (eleven years ago) link

The alarming thing is that there is someone's dad, somewhere, whose record collection includes everything on this list, and no other CDs.

― Doctor Casino, Friday, August 10, 2012 10:42 AM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol yes, virtually all of the ones released from 91 to 94 were owned by someone in my household -- Use Your Illusion, River Of Dreams, Too Legit To Quit, Monster, Adrenalize, Dangerous, We Can't Dance, alla dat

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 15:04 (eleven years ago) link

Will probably go with Dangerous, but I won't count out Monster or The Massacre or ....But Seriously

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 10 August 2012 15:10 (eleven years ago) link

i'm torn between Use Your Illusion and Chocolate Starfish for terribly entertaining hard rock indulgence

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 15:11 (eleven years ago) link

ben stiller, you are my favorite muthafucka...i told you, didn't i?

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 15:14 (eleven years ago) link

alice cooper you are my favorite muthafucka!

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 15:15 (eleven years ago) link

"That means you andy secher at hit parader, circus magazine!"

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 15:17 (eleven years ago) link

YOU WANNA ANTAGONIZE ME? ANTAGONIZE ME, MOTHERFUCKER!

Doctor Casino, Friday, 10 August 2012 15:17 (eleven years ago) link

seriously, i make "Get In The Ring" references in conversation every few months and nobody ever has the slightest idea what it is i'm doing an impression of

Doctor Casino, Friday, 10 August 2012 15:17 (eleven years ago) link

Is anyone actually going to vote for New Jersey?

Matt DC, Friday, 10 August 2012 15:18 (eleven years ago) link

of course not. which is really what makes it the ultimate archetype of the form.

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 15:18 (eleven years ago) link

seriously, i make "Get In The Ring" references in conversation every few months and nobody ever has the slightest idea what it is i'm doing an impression of

― Doctor Casino, Friday, August 10, 2012 11:17 AM (34 seconds ago) Bookmark

you should be grateful to the friends that stuck with you through all the fuckin' shit

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 15:19 (eleven years ago) link

in 2000 a diamond album had a three-way bj fantasy involving the ICP, and a 5x platinum album had a song about how mad Fred durst was when he saw his face on a plate in the "Starfuckers Inc" video.

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 15:21 (eleven years ago) link

TS: durst vs axl, which guy was a bigger dick and made you happier when their new jersey sent them unknowingly off into the fields of pathetic irrelevance

Doctor Casino, Friday, 10 August 2012 15:23 (eleven years ago) link

I mean on personality alone, few things signal "fuck this band" like "Get In The Ring," which aside from making the band look like complete clowns, is also just a boring filler rock track raising the question of why they needed a damned double album.

Doctor Casino, Friday, 10 August 2012 15:24 (eleven years ago) link

tbf axl sent himself off to more of a degree

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 15:25 (eleven years ago) link

Axl is a genuine bastard, at this point Fred just seems like an extroverted Smiths fan

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 15:26 (eleven years ago) link

also Doc there was quite a love-in about "Get In The Ring" as a song on a GNR thread recently, that riff slays imo

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 15:26 (eleven years ago) link

in 2003 Fred Durst made videos where he made out with Thora Birch and Halle Berry and America was smart enough to only let it go platinum, while if Axl had brought out some riffs and/or dolphins in the mid-'90s who knows if we would have been strong

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 15:27 (eleven years ago) link

tbf Axl DID go platinum with an album of New York Dolls and Charles Manson covers

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 15:29 (eleven years ago) link

lol i never realized this but The Spaghetti Incident outsold Chinese Democracy!

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 15:30 (eleven years ago) link

The Spaghetti Incident is the only GNR album I own, and it's great.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, 10 August 2012 15:58 (eleven years ago) link

also Doc there was quite a love-in about "Get In The Ring" as a song on a GNR thread recently, that riff slays imo

― Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, August 10, 2012 11:26 AM Bookmark

O_o seriously? Seems like the most by-the-numbers workout to me, but I guess I'm not a GNR fan as such.

Doctor Casino, Friday, 10 August 2012 15:59 (eleven years ago) link

Is anyone actually going to vote for New Jersey?
― Matt DC, Friday, August 10, 2012 10:18 AM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

of course not. which is really what makes it the ultimate archetype of the form.
― Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, August 10, 2012 10:18 AM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Sooo OTM.

Eric H., Friday, 10 August 2012 16:05 (eleven years ago) link

Best album: UYI or Dangerous. Both records are fascinating in part because they're grotesque - periodic fits of grandstanding, incessant superstar whining about victimization at the hands of the media, portentous intros, fades and overdub-city overproduction. All of which signal egos spinning out of control and production budgets pumped beyond all reason by their industry enablers more audibly than almost any music before or since. And even with all that cash the results are still more workmanlike than their breakthrough predecessors. Yet both albums showcase plenty of Good Art that requires no introduction, previous fanship or goodwill on the part of the listener to be appreciated. All of which is maybe why these records are also two of the most Jersey-esque even if they're almost too good for the category. I voted UYI on the grounds that I still listen to it all the time, though if we're talking "best" Dangerous would probably be the more aesthetically defensible answer. There's too much audible strain on Dangerous for me to really enjoy it as much as I'd like to.

mobs of burly teen christgaus (thewufs), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:21 (eleven years ago) link

I get what you're saying about Dangerous, but OTOH uh-huh, told you, it ain't to much for me to JAM *breaks glass*

keeping things contextual (DJP), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:26 (eleven years ago) link

One thing that's funny about Monster is how it sounds very New Jersey, campy hard rock bubblegum with ridiculous conceits like "tongue." But REM's Slippery When Wets had mandolins and stream-of-conscious meditations on death and love. Somehow they managed to make a very normal fade-out after a very bizarre success. They thought "let's remind them we're a rock band"...forgetting that rock bands often have a new jersey by the third big hit album.

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 18:29 (eleven years ago) link

djp otm

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:31 (eleven years ago) link

all I really remember about Monster is that at the time I really loved "Bang and Blame"

keeping things contextual (DJP), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:31 (eleven years ago) link

worst song by far!

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:32 (eleven years ago) link

look it has prominent tom work in it, I know my biases and how helpless to them I am

keeping things contextual (DJP), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:33 (eleven years ago) link

it's always been pretty low in my estimation, too. In the documentary about the Monster tour, the band was really excited about playing it on SNL, though.

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 18:34 (eleven years ago) link

haha ok. "i don't sleep i dream" is the better tom tom slow burner though imo.

xpost isn't "dream" the one they played on SNL?

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:35 (eleven years ago) link

Best: Butterfly. I guess it was the start of her commercial decline, but the consensus (at least amongst fans) is that it's her artistic peak, so I don't really see it as a New Jersey.
Most: BSB

prolego, Friday, 10 August 2012 18:35 (eleven years ago) link

xpost they played those two AND kenneth, a rare gesture from the show at the time. Hosted by Sarah Jessica Parker during the godawful period right before will ferrell's era.

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 18:36 (eleven years ago) link

gonna vote use your illusion, because my friend dan had his license early and we drove an hour to mankato to buy it at midnight at musicland

Jandek at the Disco (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:36 (eleven years ago) link

is Butterfly really the consensus favorite for Mariah, or just among fans who got on the bus in the bare midriff era? (xpost)

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:36 (eleven years ago) link

if Butterfly is the consensus favorite for Mariah, it explains so much of what I find enraging about modern culture

keeping things contextual (DJP), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:39 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twJCQZEkhTU

michael stipe just begging people to sell their CDs back in this (esp at 4:15)

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 18:40 (eleven years ago) link

On second thought, Monster is a more listenable record than either Dangerous or UYI, and also one of the weirdest blockbuster albums ever - it's an "only in 1994" kinda record - but it never felt as monumental, perhaps because the modest-to-a-fault R.E.M. never telegraphed their ambitions or their megalomania the way Axl and MJ did.

mobs of burly teen christgaus (thewufs), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:41 (eleven years ago) link

i dunno if i'd call the clip above "modest-to-a-fault"

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 18:43 (eleven years ago) link

pretty sure it's bono's fault so many '90s rockers thought the way to deal with fame was to "ironically" sashay around like jackass

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 18:45 (eleven years ago) link

I totally love about half the songs on Dangerous - track-by-track it's clearly, indisputably stronger than UYI II, my pick of the GNR twofer - but somehow it's even harder to get through from beginning to end. All that broken glass gets wearing after a while.

mobs of burly teen christgaus (thewufs), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:46 (eleven years ago) link

Taking Sides: ACHTUNG BABY by U2 VS. MONSTER by R.E.M

Doctor Casino, Friday, 10 August 2012 18:46 (eleven years ago) link

i feel like Monster's weirdness was very relative, in the context of their career and of the era. taken on its own terms i don't know if it's really so strange or even bad.

Pollopolicía (some dude), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:49 (eleven years ago) link

xxxp - by "modest to a fault" I mean the image they projected more than the reality. Even though they pointedly went faux-glam with Monster it's not like anybody was bashing cars and turning into a panther or swimming with dolphins in the videos.

mobs of burly teen christgaus (thewufs), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:50 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcFDmbtrzeI

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 18:52 (eleven years ago) link

i think it was omar little that posted back when, as they go from the one Human Clay to the two Weathered hits shit gets ever more surreal

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 18:53 (eleven years ago) link

that posted the above clip back when, i mean

da croupier, Friday, 10 August 2012 18:53 (eleven years ago) link

exactly. where How To Dismantle genuinely was a hollow follow-up to All That You Can't Leave Behind, selling almost as much, and winning a ton of grammys off of far weaker songs (UNO DOS TRES QUATORZE!). And the follow-up to THAT was No Line On The Horizon. But some people have a hard time distinguishing New Jerseys from big albums they don't like and general grand follies imo.

da croupier, Friday, 27 December 2013 15:38 (ten years ago) link

hell for a live-outtake-double-grabbag to have songs as enduring as "angel of harlem" "desire" and "all i want is you" is actually impressive

da croupier, Friday, 27 December 2013 15:40 (ten years ago) link

but you never hear those songs anymore! for a 5x platinum album does anyone think "I gotta hear Desire today!"?

Euler, Friday, 27 December 2013 15:42 (ten years ago) link

the whole pr explosion was absurd, and that they pulled off a comeback like achtung baby was indeed impressive. but they did. Achtung Baby is not Keep The Faith, History Volume 1, New Adventures in Hi-Fi, Recycler, Flick Of The Switch, etc

da croupier, Friday, 27 December 2013 15:45 (ten years ago) link

and U2 never hit Joshua Tree sales again. it's true the decline has one bump but otherwise the sales gig never was the same, and R&H was the typical NJ retread

Euler, Friday, 27 December 2013 15:45 (ten years ago) link

I mean I'd be happy with a separate rock folly category for stuff like R&H but I don't know what else fits

Euler, Friday, 27 December 2013 15:47 (ten years ago) link

i don't think live/outtake/grabbags that are followed by the second biggest album of the band's career qualify as a new jersey and you're going to have to accept that, just as i accepted 5 people would want to vote for it on the poll. and if you don't know what else fits you should read my umpteen posts about atomic bomb

da croupier, Friday, 27 December 2013 15:48 (ten years ago) link

Achtung Baby shipped 8 million last I checked; it may have matched TJT by now.

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 27 December 2013 15:49 (ten years ago) link

no I mean for follies like R&H

Euler, Friday, 27 December 2013 15:49 (ten years ago) link

in a sense it's "folly" status is overstated - a precipice they were lucky enough to back away from. it's a little embarrassing, but not as much as it looked like it would be.

da croupier, Friday, 27 December 2013 15:52 (ten years ago) link

it's a little embarrassing, but not as much as it looked like it would be.

true, which makes it the opposite of a new jersey, really. new jerseys seem legit at first, at least for a moment, but are eventually revealed as embarrassments. rattle and hum seemed embarrassing right away -- you could almost argue that was intentional -- and, as croup says, seems a little bit less so now.

fact checking cuz, Friday, 27 December 2013 16:01 (ten years ago) link

not reissuing it in the 20th anniversary series suggests the band still feels the embarrassment

Euler, Friday, 27 December 2013 16:04 (ten years ago) link

I remember at the time most people I knew dug R&H but they didn't think of it as a real album.

I got the glares, the mutterings, the snarls (President Keyes), Friday, 27 December 2013 19:42 (ten years ago) link

I think this type of album is generally one riding the excitement wave from the previous one, oftentimes with a bit of a slight delay between the two albums adding to the excitement, usually with a massive and pretty catchy first single that also in retrospect might seem a bit generic. so I mean the black albums mentioned are nowhere near, because they were both huge on their own merits. metallica's in particular was the one that made them briefly the biggest band on the planet. it's not like most people who bought it were into it bc they were excited after 'and justice for all'.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 27 December 2013 19:58 (ten years ago) link

if they had an album that qualified it would be Reload - 4x platinum (only one disc less than load!), remembered if at all for a marianne faithfull hook, "ARE YOU UNFORGIVEN 2???" and GIMME FUEL GIMME FIYAH GIMME THAT WHICH I DESIRE. Followed by St Anger. But it's hard to give the title to an album that already announces itself as Not Quite A True Follow-Up. I chafed at including Rattle & Hum for the same reason, but there was popular demand.

― da croupier, Friday, 27 December 2013 15:19 (4 hours ago) Permalink

If this is how you're thinking about things, you have a strange idea of how most people perceive New Jersey imo. Bad Medicine and I'll Be There For You are still big memorable singable hit songs that make people nostalgic, even if they're not Living On A Prayer or whatever. Nothing on Reload is like that. I think this might be the center of our misunderstanding.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 27 December 2013 20:07 (ten years ago) link

Also Born to Be My Baby

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 27 December 2013 20:08 (ten years ago) link

I was a late arrival to REM and listened over and over to Monster, trying to pick up on what was so great about it ... I never got it. It's the most un-rocking rock album ever.

Gotta take it slow in your fast ride (calstars), Friday, 27 December 2013 20:27 (ten years ago) link

Hurting, part of this might also be to do with 'legacy' - if you weren't there at the time, have you really had much opportunity to *hear* I'll Be There For You, let alone grow fond of it? I know I haven't. New Jerseys are sales monsters that turn out to contribute nothing essential to a band's package or its text, no reason why you should ever even need to know they exist. I remain convinced that the timelines of promotion are essential here - long campaigns, long enough for the market to transform even as the album keeps selling, so that at the end, there's no stations left looking to play the songs. But I've made this case before.

(In this light, in a weird way, Matchbox 20's Yourself or Something Like You is simultaneously Slippery and Jersey: debut juggernaut, most of whose big hit songs are now radio-homeless, and which has no hope of entering the canon through magazine lists or any other thing. I wonder how much of Rob Thomas's income depends on Santana and ''Meet the Robinsons.'')

Doctor Casino, Friday, 27 December 2013 22:48 (ten years ago) link

Hurting the center of our misunderstanding is there are two threads on the subject more than a year old you haven't read.

Too soon to say what late 90s early 00s bands will enjoy a nostalgia boom. Not like hall and Oates and journey reappreciations were always a given.

da croupier, Friday, 27 December 2013 23:17 (ten years ago) link

Xpost for a rock album Monster is ridiculously, presumably somewhat intentionally, stiff.

Its so fucked up, but I am a fan nonetheless.

Master of Treacle, Saturday, 28 December 2013 00:47 (ten years ago) link

Hurting, part of this might also be to do with 'legacy' - if you weren't there at the time, have you really had much opportunity to *hear* I'll Be There For You, let alone grow fond of it? I know I haven't. New Jerseys are sales monsters that turn out to contribute nothing essential to a band's package or its text, no reason why you should ever even need to know they exist

I guess because I was there at the time, it's hard for me to conceive of New Jersey as this empty, big at the time but ultimatley forgotten follow-up record, at least not to a degree that contrasts so greatly with some kind of lasting "legacy" left by Slippery When Wet. In fact I'd say the difference in quality between the hits on Slippery and New Jersey is not all that huge. I feel like true Bon Jovi fans, the ones that make it so Bon Jovi DOES still sell out huge venues, probably dig the New Jersey hits very very much, and don't think of them as relics from some lesser follow-up record. And otherwise I think we're largely talking about people who like doing Living on a Prayer at karaoke. I read the other thread. I increasingly think the premise is kind of silly, and has a lot to do with your individually skewed idea of a band based on your temporal relationship to them.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Saturday, 28 December 2013 04:38 (ten years ago) link

this whole phenomenon being named after New Jersey cracks me up because an old friend of mine used to, invariably, at any mention of Bon Jovi say something New Jersey and how that was such a big classic album and i'd always be like "really? it seems like the really big songs were on Slippery When Wet," without me ever having looked at the sales figures or chart positions to really authoritatively know that. similarly, my dad used to say Tusk was the Fleetwood Mac album that was the giant blockbuster that ruled the charts for ages, which really confused me for a good long while.

Ella Maria Finally Rich-O'Connor (some dude), Saturday, 28 December 2013 04:47 (ten years ago) link

the mere suggestion of Metallica's Black Album is ridiculous -- it's the highest selling album of the SoundScan era, nothing else since 1991 has moved as many units. it's practically Thriller.

Ella Maria Finally Rich-O'Connor (some dude), Saturday, 28 December 2013 04:56 (ten years ago) link

It does have several enduring songs, which I guess disqualifies it, but at the same time it felt/feels like the record that signaled their descent into becoming pointless short-haired alt rockers. I guess Load is the better choice for them. I don't think the premise is silly, but I actually think some of these are much better New Jerseys than New Jersey is.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Saturday, 28 December 2013 05:25 (ten years ago) link

none of these are exact. for instance, there was an instant (early internet) negative reaction to Load from Metallica fans that NJ did not endure from Bon Jovi fans.

The Black Album was more of an It Was Written where an artist tweaks their style and achieves huge success while simultaneously alienating some of their old fans.

On that other thread we went from the initial "EVERY multi-platinum artist has their own New Jersey" to this nit-picky narrow definition.

I got the glares, the mutterings, the snarls (President Keyes), Saturday, 28 December 2013 12:44 (ten years ago) link

six years pass...

I've listened to most of'em and ranked'em. What can ya do. I had time to kill.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 12:13 (four years ago) link

dammmmmmmn

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 12:42 (four years ago) link

ranking feels pretty plausible to me, tho i fear i lack the stick-to-it-iveness to actually repeat the experiment. bravo.

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 12:46 (four years ago) link

Noice. Glad to see that I'm not the only one using his period of self-isolation to trudge through musical mud (currently working my way through an array of previously-unheard pop albums from 1990).

True Colors is maybe the most truly disappointing of that lot. Such a sadly-massive decline.

Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 13:11 (four years ago) link

oooh which 1990 pop albums?

I should check out the Bone Thugs-N-Harmony album.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 13:34 (four years ago) link

I bumped yr thread from a few weeks back to address that very question!

Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 14:15 (four years ago) link


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