Jesus Fucking Christ: evangelical bigwig opposed gay marriage "because it takes the dirt and danger out of clandestine sex with rent-a-men"

The success rate of these therapies in actually changing clients' sexual orientation appears to have been between 0% and something less than 0.1%. The success rate at changing clients' sexual behavior is much greater. Some of these techniques can persuade homosexuals to be celibate, either through terror, guilt, or persuasion that God considers same-sex behavior to be an abomination. They can persuade bisexuals to confine their sexual activities to members of the opposite sex. They may even be able to train gays to successfully have sex with a woman, while fantasize about making love to another man. But therapies do not seem to be capable of changing one's feelings -- one's sexual orientation -- in the vast majority of people.

http://ad.doubleclick.net/ad/N1942.Christianpost/B2123671;sz=728x90

such fun

Fisting in a Christian relationship:

http://www.sexinchrist.com/fist.html

Surely a hoax site?

(1) To avoid the impropriety of male homosexuality, a heterosexual couple should not under any circumstances form a threesome with another man.
(2) Both women involved in the threesome must be willing to keep within traditional female roles (i.e., not taking on masculine appearance or behavior in or out of the bedroom) and recognize the male as the leader in the relationship.
(3) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is unmarried, it may be permissible for the husband to have relations with her only with his wife’s consent.
(4) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is unmarried, but the wife does not wish her to have relations with the other woman, the husband should respect this.
(5) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is married, her husband must not have objections to the relationship.
(6) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is married, the husband should refrain from having any sexual relations with her, and should make every effort to control his fantasies about her. He should concentrate his attention on his own wife.

not exactly a hoax, but...

"Need money 4 degree"

i regret that all the jokes that would once have been funny are now hackneyed

This is from that website

SEO Text Browser

Anal Sex in Accordance with God's Will

Are you saving yourself for your wedding night? The Devil wants you to fail, that’s why he puts stumbling blocks in your way. But God wants you to succeed, and that’s why he has given us an alternative to intercourse before marriage: anal sex. Through anal sex, you can satisfy your body’s needs, while you avoid the risk of unwanted pregnancy and still keep yourself pure for marriage.

malicious parody definitely

technicalvirgin.com

The Rev. Ted Haggard, who left the megachurch he founded after admitting to "sexual immorality," has asked supporters for financial assistance while he and his wife pursue their studies.

Studies? We might need to ask if this is of the "Pete Townshend School Of 'Study'" before we sign checks.

New Life Church, founder Haggard end relationship

*nelson laugh*

wtf @ the ad placement

http://aycu07.webshots.com/image/42526/2000089929670841859_rs.jpg

^^that's a truth ad btw

a little more info here:

http://www.towleroad.com/2008/02/ted-haggard-qui.html

Just one year ago today, a four-member oversight board announced that after three weeks of intense counseling that Haggard was "completely heterosexual".

New Life recognizes the process of restoring Ted Haggard is incomplete

"restoring ted haggard" is a reality show just begging to happen.

omg so OTM

Who makes up the rest of the wacky cast?

(Rogermexico's thread title, meanwhile, is one of my all time favorites on this board.)

Retry? Cancel? Abort?

There's this.

And there's that.

Back for the attack!

As guests parked in his snow-crusted field and carried chocolate chip cookies and jugs of apple juice into the barn, he greeted them enthusiastically. "Look, everybody," Haggard announced when one person arrived with a special treat: "Chocolate cake!"

As the service began, he was jovial, even joking about his indiscretion. "If you're not getting enough snuggling [from your spouse], don't do it the way I did it," he said.

Also:

The rejection by friends and church members made his situation more painful, Haggard said. He did not name New Life, but spoke critically of people focused too intently on religion and rules instead of God. "When you get yourself in trouble, are they going to draw near to you? No, they're going to disappear. They're going to judge you," he said.

H.B. London, the vice president of church and clergy at Focus on the Family and a former member of Haggard's restoration team, criticized Haggard's decision to start a new church located so close to New Life as insensitive and premature.

London said he'd heard from many pastors who don't think Haggard is ready to lead a congregation again, asserting that Haggard didn't complete the restoration process and was still in need of counseling.

But London said it doesn't surprise him that Haggard can attract followers. "He was a hero to many people, and people are pretty forgiving. Forgiveness is good, but just because you forgive someone does not give them the right to just begin again, necessarily," he said.

Stuff like that fascinates me because of the whole idea of the sliding scale of forgiveness.

"If you're not getting enough meth and anal sex [from your spouse], don't do it the way I did it," he said.

"Now, about that cake."

aaaaand... bump

http://gawker.com/5531027/the-virulent-anti+gay-activist-who-brought-a-rentboy-to-europe-updated

Rekers has been speaking out against all things gay for many years now, so vehemently that one is led to assume that he's overcompensating for something. And indeed that looks to be the case. Rekers traveled to Europe on a vacation recently and hired an escort through Rentboy.com to "carry his luggage." He claims he recently had surgery and thus couldn't do the lifting himself. Why he found a porter through a gay prostitution website — the only place where Lucien, as the rentboy is called by the Miami New Times (who broke the story), offers his services — remains unexplained.

Sure, it's just the same old story: destestable Christian bigot exposed as howling hypocrite. But it never seems to grow stale, does it?

But where else would you rent a boy to carry your luggage?

Man I know this is extremely touchy-feely territory & I can also get into the schadenfreude of hateful hypocrites getting their comeuppance for sure, but amidst that feeling when this sort of thing happens I usually also feel a terrible sadness. Because when a guy makes his lifework this sort of "ensure that being gay is seen as wrong/erase gains made toward dignity and acceptance/un-liberate everybody" thing, and it turns out, not even surprisingly at all to anybody any more, that the guy in question is gay or bi -- I mean to me it seems like the process in these guys' heads has gotta be a walking daily Hell of self-denial and self-hatred -- it has to be like constantly policing yourself to never, ever for a second contemplate who you might really be, what your real feelings are, what kind of life you'd actually like to lead; never share with anybody how and who you are; construct an entire life toward trying to strike the pose of being the sort of person you think of as good, as opposed to the sort of person you make a point of painting publicly as sick or narcissistic or sinful, which is actually just you talking about how you feel about yourself...I mean, fuck these guys for all the harm they do, but that they spend most of their lives in this prison of shame is tragic to me. getting all the way to old age without ever allowing yourself the chance to be who you are without hiding it? having a whole family to whom you can only show part of yourself? that is so sad, what a sad world.

Who knows what is really going on in their heads, I think one of the appeals of this kind of story is the sheer unfathomability of what they must be thinking. But to put a different spin on it, perhaps they're having the time of their lives railing against teh homos while gaily bumming around all up the whazoo in private. Kind of like yer socialist dictator preaching collectivism while lording it up in a palace.

The world is too sad and life is too short to waste any of our empathy on people like him.

jesus f christ wd disagree iirc

Empathy for his personal suffering doesn't absolve him of responsibility for his sins against other people.

But to put a different spin on it, perhaps they're having the time of their lives railing against teh homos while gaily bumming around all up the whazoo in private. Kind of like yer socialist dictator preaching collectivism while lording it up in a palace.

kinda like this reading - maybe guys who do this are just berzerker sociopath gay men who get laffs from making a bunch of fundies think they're all on the same side

gotta make the sex hotter too knowing that if you get caught it will completely fuck everything up

(and yeah, Laurel, obv me feeling these stories are tragic absolves no one of anything - to the best of my knowledge I do not have the authority to grant absolution, though I should check, I think I'm due for a pay grade increase and maybe now I can pardon people for foul shit)

Empathy for his personal suffering doesn't absolve him of responsibility for his sins against other people.

― wasting time and money trying to change the weather (Laurel), Wednesday, May 5, 2010 9:40 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

word, otming aerosmith more than anything

I wonder if, when you spend your life working to make the world a worse place for gays (for instance), and you are somewhat successful, your paranoia about BEING one and having to hypothetically LIVE in the world you've created increases, which makes you agitate against it/yourself even more, which makes the world seem worse for your kind, which makes you react MORE strongly, which...etc. Obvious stuff really but since we're looking for a window into this kind of thinking....

How many of these guys WANT to be caught, do you think? Probably everyone does at some point, just to contemplate getting off the merry-go-round even if they don't want to go through the upheaval that results.

ike constantly policing yourself to never, ever for a second contemplate who you might really be, what your real feelings are, what kind of life you'd actually like to lead; never share with anybody how and who you are; construct an entire life toward trying to strike the pose of being the sort of person you think of as good, as opposed to the sort of person you make a point of painting publicly as sick or narcissistic or sinful, which is actually just you talking about how you feel about yourself

i thought this was just called "being alive"

or have i said too much

haha

what's amazing is how common these stories are.

more amazing is how some ppl don't understand why everyone assumes virulent homophobes are closeted gays given the frequency of these stories

my guess is (james baldwin ahoy) people like this get into the firebreathing racket early in life and those already in it are more than happy to have them.

...and we'll probably never really know how it works since none of these dudes has the self-possession to give an honest account of their life, inner or outer. they're too deep in the game, and the whole life around it; self-exile is hard work and these guys have raised cowardice to an artform. ted haggard did a prayer weekend and he's off the cock now, remember?

jd otm

interesting how this guy helped enforce Florida's gay adoption ban, 'cos it could lead to "sexual abuse of an adolescent male foster child by that homosexual"; adopts a 16 yr old boy himself, and then has sex with a rent boy that is barely a few yrs older than that. Sooooo hypocritical.

Going down fighting. As it were.