picking up this waitress

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so you are gay? what are you doing on this str8 thread?

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:45 (nineteen years ago) link

give up the mams yo

― shit think, shit think, shit quick (deangulberry), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:45 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.svcn.com/archives/wgresident/02.11.98/Wrestling1.GIF http://www.svcn.com/archives/wgresident/02.11.98/Wrestling1.GIF http://www.svcn.com/archives/wgresident/02.11.98/Wrestling1.GIF

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:46 (nineteen years ago) link

only for the hos, not the bros.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:46 (nineteen years ago) link

Okay this is usually a totally bad idea, BUT on the off chance that you are not one of the millions of people who mistake normal friendliness for flirtiness (this is not meant as an insult, really) my advice is to invite her to something that's totally innocent enough (a friend's art show or band or movie screening or your own if you are lucky enough or whatever) like you were just asking anyone just cuz you thought it would be a cool thing to get the word out and have people who seem cool show up. If she actually does shows up then you can treat the situation like you would any other cool person you just met at an event thing (without the creepy picking up on you at work vibe) with the added bonus of knowing that she thought enough of your advice to come to the thing in the first place.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:46 (nineteen years ago) link

no-one can save us but kim the waitress

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:46 (nineteen years ago) link

come on man let's see that HAIR i've heard so much about

― rogers broseph (deangulberry), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:47 (nineteen years ago) link

someone just imed me this:

i think you win
dean must be the mexican elephant man

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:47 (nineteen years ago) link

(jon)

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:48 (nineteen years ago) link

someone just imed me this:

surely writing one article for the wwf when you're 18
is not the same as watching wwf every week when you're 32
and hair? who brags about having hair? seriously

― rogers broseph (deangulberry), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:49 (nineteen years ago) link

Joel has pretty nice LOX. xpost

― Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:49 (nineteen years ago) link

who brags about having hair?

robert plant, apparently

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:49 (nineteen years ago) link

Dean, you seem to put a lot of stock in hair judging from your criticisms of me!

― Open your eyes; you can fly! (ex machina), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:50 (nineteen years ago) link

this thread is no longer about me and the hot waitress. it's about wrestling, and hair, and noizefights. i am totally okay with this turn of events.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:50 (nineteen years ago) link

dean learn to count i am 29. and i don't watch it every week, just every once in a while SO I CAN CHAT WITH YOU ABOUT IT. and having hair at any age is better than being a bald-ass bitch.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:50 (nineteen years ago) link

what's the matter anyway dean? why you so grumpy? your hair fall out and your girl dump ya or somethin'?

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:51 (nineteen years ago) link

oh, we're not on the noize board?

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:52 (nineteen years ago) link

whoops!

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:53 (nineteen years ago) link

i think its time to go home.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:55 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hot+lunch&r=f

1. hot lunch
the act of shitting in clingfilm stretched over someones open mouth then fucking the mouth and at the point of ejaculation bursting through the clingfilm giving the recipiant a mouthful of shit and spunk

got any food wrap dear ?i fancy giving a hot lunch
Source: sideshow bob, May 13, 2004

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2. hot lunch

to shit in a brown paper bag and then slap it across your partner's face

pack it. send it.
ooooo i'm gonna hot lunch you so hard when i get home!
Source: marvy, Mar 21, 2004

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3. hot lunch
taking a super massive dump in someones waiting and eager mouth

My friend joey was clammering for a steamy hot lunch courtesy of our friend chris.
Source: Johnny_TeaBags, Apr 4, 2005

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4. hot lunch
to deficate in another persons (ie. partner) mouth.
"Sandy and Fred like to experiment on each other by giving each other large steamy hot lunches"
Source: Joe King, Mar 5, 2004

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5. hot lunch
When a hot and bothered male pinches a loaf off into the gaping mouth of his degraded female counterpart. This is normaly washed down with a few worm shots of the males "duck butter"
hot lunch
Source: Radi, Jun 18, 2004

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6. Hot Lunch
The act of placing cellophane over your partner's mouth, then deficating on the celophane. Your partner then takes your feces into his/her mouth and tongues it through the celophane.
Source: anonymous, Feb 3, 2003

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:56 (nineteen years ago) link

...

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:57 (nineteen years ago) link

nononono those are all cleveland steamers. or is that a wrasslin' move? dean?

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:57 (nineteen years ago) link

"duck butter"?

― Allyzay do not obtain to make download of yours MP3 (allyzay), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:59 (nineteen years ago) link

no no no. a cleveland steamer is to shit upon the chest of your partner. hot lunch goes directly into the mouf, it seems. or cling-wrap.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cleveland+steamer&r=f

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:59 (nineteen years ago) link

check, please.

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 03:59 (nineteen years ago) link

thanks for the, uh, clarification.

xpost - roffles!

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:00 (nineteen years ago) link

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:00 (nineteen years ago) link

"...uh, change my order to the soup!"

"good idea."

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:00 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.nexi.com/catbear/fb3/images/Check%20Please!%20-%20I0302532.jpg

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:01 (nineteen years ago) link

isn't the clingwrap one a 'packed lunch'?

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:01 (nineteen years ago) link

i know i said "do your worst" but christ guys.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:01 (nineteen years ago) link

i "picked up" a waitress once. you just have to start some inoccuous smiley conversion, introduce yourself AND THEN DO NOTHING ELSE. then, maybe the next time, you can be like 'oh hello again, listen...'

it ended badly, but that was months down the line. fuckin waitresses.

― g e o f f (gcannon), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:01 (nineteen years ago) link

oh wow theres actually an entry for this

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=duck+butter&r=f

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:01 (nineteen years ago) link

geoff, i'd say do nothing else 2 times. then on the third time...

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:02 (nineteen years ago) link

mark buy the restaurant and tell her if she doesn't sleep with you you'll fire her. foolproof.

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:02 (nineteen years ago) link

mark, tell her about this message board you've posted about her and then show her this funny thread!

she'll love it!

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:03 (nineteen years ago) link

see i knew i'd done it wrong.

um xpost

― g e o f f (gcannon), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:03 (nineteen years ago) link

i hate you all with a drunklike intensity.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:03 (nineteen years ago) link

blount has the right idea

also serve good grilled cheese sammiches

coz no place serves em good anymore

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:03 (nineteen years ago) link

"haha hey nice to see you again seriously! totally busy in here i know. ok listen i totally AM NOT going to shit in your mouth. i'll have a reuben."

― g e o f f (gcannon), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:04 (nineteen years ago) link

i've gone custosoid sorry

― g e o f f (gcannon), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:04 (nineteen years ago) link

hahahaha oh my god

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:05 (nineteen years ago) link

SHIT I WAS BEING HELPFUL (before). and it's all true.

― g e o f f (gcannon), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:06 (nineteen years ago) link

mark, tell her about this message board you've posted about her and then show her this funny thread!
she'll love it!

-- cutty

worked for ian johnsoning!

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:08 (nineteen years ago) link

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:09 (nineteen years ago) link

i doubt this waitress would find the humor in this thread in any way amusing. if she did, mark would have to marry her.

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:09 (nineteen years ago) link

yes, i'd have to.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:10 (nineteen years ago) link

yeah that would be like the raddest girl ever. but:

girls = far away from this thread

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:10 (nineteen years ago) link

ask her if ebaumsworld or collegehumor.com is more her speed...

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:10 (nineteen years ago) link

blurgh "internet humor sites"

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 04:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Skipping 320 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

qual

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 05:04 (fifteen years ago) link

They love subtlety.

― Millsner, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 05:51 (fifteen years ago) link

and then I let one go.

― velko, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 06:12 (fifteen years ago) link

eight years pass...

this is just so creepy

http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2007/11/365-days-307---.html

― Violet Jynx, Tuesday, 23 May 2017 15:49 (six years ago) link

the amount of times waitresses get notes/napkins/serviettes with a man's name and his number is probably too many to count

― i n f i n i t y (∞), Tuesday, 23 May 2017 17:09 (six years ago) link

let's keep old ilx old

― imago, Tuesday, 23 May 2017 17:12 (six years ago) link

o is this when mr mod locks the thread

― i n f i n i t y (∞), Tuesday, 23 May 2017 17:14 (six years ago) link

I guess I better get somethign done today (gets up to make a cuppa tea)

― Violet Jax (Violet Jynx), Tuesday, 23 May 2017 17:46 (six years ago) link

jeez, guys. it is good to remember that waitresses often depend on good tips from customers and more than a few of them discover that flirting a bit helps. this doesn't necessarily mean she wants to go down on you. it could just as easily mean she's single mom with a three year old waiting at home and her wringing a few extra bucks in tips out of her customers is worth encouraging yr fantasies if it buys her kid a new pair of shoes.

― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 23 May 2017 17:51 (six years ago) link

Hit on waitresses life's short who cares

― sleepingbag, Tuesday, 23 May 2017 18:01 (six years ago) link

chị ấy
Cô ấy
Cô ấy cô ấy
Cô ấy cô ấy cô ấy cô ấy

Old Vietnamese saying

― Violet Jax (Violet Jynx), Tuesday, 23 May 2017 18:04 (six years ago) link

this doesn't necessarily mean she wants to go down on you. it could just as easily mean she's single mom with a three year old waiting at home

if these are just as likely.... DEFINITELY hit on teh waitress

― sleepingbag, Tuesday, 23 May 2017 18:11 (six years ago) link

http://www.misterkitty.org/extras/stupidcovers/stupidcomics429.html

― Violet Jax (Violet Jynx), Tuesday, 23 May 2017 18:13 (six years ago) link

sleepingbag and Violet Jax, raising the tone of the place

― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 04:35 (six years ago) link

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