Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Wow, ok no - not someone I would associate with asshole readers at all! who knows! Correlation does not mean causation.

haha yeah i know. i was being mostly facetious with the speculation in that last post. although this discussion has made me quite curious and I will probably message them tonight. I have to test my hypotheses after all.

Maybe they are just overly Canadian.

hypothesis #4!

so, I clicked on this one guys profile because he looked cute. And there's this one picture of him where he is shirtless, ridiculously muscled of course, standing by the sea with the wind blowing his (medium length) hair back.

He looks a little bit like John Corbett except in this picture there's an unfortunate soul patch.

I lack the words to convey my amusement.

I have a couple of messages in my inbox that seem worth responding to, but I take forever to respond to messages at all. I hope that no one takes it personally.

heh. i was looking at one dude's profile -- he seemed cool, but then he had all these shirtless pics and i was like, i can't message this person.

Another guy seems like a great match and then he ends his profile like this (the part where he says you should message him if:
"And you aren't carrying massive emotional baggage from the last guy you dated who treated you like shit."

Translate as: "I am that guy who will give you emotional baggage to carry to the next relationship." Avoid, avoid!

I have yet to encounter a shirtless pic. I'm not sure how I would react.

Unless of course they looked like Thom Yorke.

WCC, don't take profile deletions personally. This happens all the time. People would write me long, in-depth messages and I would take a while to respond because the message required seriousness and commitment, but when I got ready to respond, I would realize that they no longer existed! I always imagined that my failure to respond immediately was the final insult that the led them to delete their profiles:)

^^^^

if it helps, the most successful OKC relationship I had involved a lady tracking me down on another website I frequent (not this one) after I deleted my OKC profile and asking me out.

yeah, i could use a stalker

also this

might be best to meet sooner rather than later, less time to overthink things.

is the best advice.

Drifting back into "less and less interested in the real world, more interested in things in mine own head" territory. Which is the worst position to start dating from.

No one ever, ever responds to me.

Maybe you should try bribery? Offer them sweets? Or liquor?

I feel cretinous because I am putting off replying to messages. Not because the people are unattractive, but because I just feel so sick, and when I feel unwell, I am incapable of being objective about anything. I suppose I should send a note back to say "I'm not uninterested, I'm just too unwell to respond properly, please may I get back to you in a few days?"

Personal take on that is...it's ok not to respond when not in right frame of mind. Can leave until time is right, and generally I think people prefer a good reply in the future, to a not so good one today

update on the friend who set me up with this dude she met in a bar.

so we met up, not really my type but nice enough, went back to his place to watch dark night, and when he's out of the room, this clump of paper on his desk that looks like it was torn out of a little notebook catches my eye. it caught my eye because it was titled "My Summer with [Friend's name]." so I thought, hmm, that's weird. Is [Friend's name] referring to MY friend? And I flipped through it and he's like, detailing the night he met her. To the point that he's describing why he was at the bar, when he caught sight of her, and I only got to the point where he is describing her and what she's wearing, when i had to put it back because i could hear him coming back. i wish i had gone with my first impulse and stuffed it in my bag to read later. (is that mean?) anyway, i tried to watch the movie but i was a little weirded out by it, so i called it quits like 5 minutes into the movie. he was confused because i didn't explain myself very well, but really what can you say at that point, right?

oh, the single life.

oh and the extent of my friend and this dude's relationship is a 5 minute conversation, they're not friends or anything

that is extremely strange

what kills me is the fact that it's titled. and that the title is "my summer with x". so weird!! haha

weird on many levels. wonder if he meant for you to see it. running away was the correct reaction.

That is really quite strange, yes.

But the only thing I can think is... maybe... is he a novelist or a writer or at creative writing school or something? Because it does sound like could almost be a kind of I dunno, assignment-y type thing? Like, I remember having to write character sketches for writing classes. And I would sometimes practice by making up little stories about people I had just met, just to exercise the imagination.

Of course, now you all think that I'm a crepey weirdo, but it's just a thing. Like sketching people in public, it's a thing, that might look weird if you did not know that life drawing was a thing. But hmmm.

No, I dunno. It seems weird that he left it out, like he wanted you to find it.

Yeah, my first instinct was that it was some sort of writing exercise. That doesn't preclude him from also being a weirdo, mind you.

Well as I was thinking about why i thought it was so weird, i remember thinking, 'it would be way less weird if it were part of some sort of writing project'. but it wasn't written in a storytelling style, just like a "i went to this bar because x and then saw this girl and she had this type of hair and was wearing this type of top". Kind of a "what i did for my summer vacation thing" that kids write. And he didn't strike me as a arty guy, made no mention of interests that veer even remotely close to the creative, is not a reader, etc. i mean i guess i'm making an evaluative judgment of his writing skills but it definitely did not strike me as a creative writing project.

It was under a stapler and the only reason i saw it was because happened to see her name (which isn't totally rare but not very common name either). It was also ripped out from some kind of tiny notebook and stapled together (the size of a large index card?), like not something you would hand in. (could be a draft, haha) i'm assuming that meeting up with me reminded him of my friend and he pulled it out to revisit the night he met her. i can think of no logical reason why he would leave it out for me to see intentionally. but all is moot--we will not be seeing each other again!

Could be an excessive diariser? Nah, I'm gonna stop making excuses. Weirdo. You did the right thing.

I've got a lot of time for extremely weird people, but come on... basic social etiquette involves letting people get comfortable with you before you hit them with your quirks. Hide your fictionalized diaries before the first date comes over!

Unless, I guess, you met on the fictionalized diarist singles site, then you would probably have brought it with you to the bar anyway.

Ha! There was the guy (detailed way above in this thread) who wrote fictionalized diaries of his 7 previous dates in emails to me before we'd even met. (he did not get even a first date. so Rayeula's date at least hid his freakiness for longer than that!

Was his profile name Bluebeard?

i mean REALLY

that would be weird even by my extremely liberal standards

Actually been talking to someone semi normal and communicative on OKC and we have a real date tomorrow. Hope it goes well. We'll see.

I have a date this weekend with a public school music teacher who appears to be an avant garde weirdo and board game geek –– and he likes teaching middle schoolers, which is somehow totally dreamy to me? Short and scruffy, wears glasses. I hope there's chemistry and he's not another stiff shirt because this is all looking pretty good on paper.

Well as I was thinking about why i thought it was so weird, i remember thinking, 'it would be way less weird if it were part of some sort of writing project'. but it wasn't written in a storytelling style, just like a "i went to this bar because x and then saw this girl and she had this type of hair and was wearing this type of top". Kind of a "what i did for my summer vacation thing" that kids write. And he didn't strike me as a arty guy, made no mention of interests that veer even remotely close to the creative, is not a reader, etc. i mean i guess i'm making an evaluative judgment of his writing skills but it definitely did not strike me as a creative writing project.

you went on a date with pitchfork reviews reviews?

So I was going to go on an okcupid date with someone. I called him last night to get an idea of whether he's a twitchy weirdo. Not all that awkward, BUT, through the phone call I learned these two tidbits:

1- Before he moved to Denver, he had no idea where it was. He said he thought it was "up by Canada" (uh...)
2- He hardly ever leaves the house. He's been here five years and hasn't been anywhere, it seems.

Run?

On not knowing where Denver was, that would depend on where he lived before, and why he moved?

The never leaving the house thing... weeellll... I'm a socially awkward shut-in since my band broke up so I can hardly throw stones about that. Really depends on the reasons why, again.

I don't think either of those things are "ABORT! ABORT!" signs in and of themselves, really just depends on what he's like.

Well, I am definitely an OUT AND ABOUT person. So that's what I am worried about.

Also he lived in California prior to this.

I would never date anyone from California. That'd be the deal breaker for me.

I just think it's a step in the right direction. Like, you've been feeling rub coz you haven't even messaged by anyone local in ages. So at least messaging with someone and meeting them and having them be not-good is better than feeling like you're invisible? It's not the result you wanted, but it's moving towards it?

(OTOH I am probably the worst person in the universe whose "advice" to listen to. Do the opposite of whatever I tell you.)

Which means, do exactly what she said.

um..

I've put my okc use on hiatus while on vacation, just because...I feel like I'm a different person here than in my own home, and this Michigan person doesn't think about men at all hardly. S'okay, I'll get to it eventually.

Many people who move to Austin have pretty hilarious ideas about its location (like thinking it's only a hour or so away from the coast) so I wouldn't hold that against him. More generally however, just stop thinking about it and go have a drink with them. It's easy to bail if they're clearly a no go, and you can find out real quick if it's worth pursuing further. Spending a week or two daydreaming about them is fun, but counterproductive. Also, if it goes moderately well, you probably get to make out a little, which is nice.

I can't even remember what it's like to make out with someone. I think my lips are broken.

Besides that comment, everything was fine about our conversation. I just kinda can't stand ignorance in general, and Denver "up near Canada" is pretty WAY OFF... I mean, "an hour from the coast" is one thing, but to completely not realize where AN ENTIRE STATE is located is... o_O

I would expect that if he had moved here from Russia or something, but California is so close!

well tbf to him you think california is close to denver when actually canada is nearer, so in a way you're agreeing with him

oh god

RELATIVE TO RUSSIA (IN MY EXAMPLE), CALIFORNIA IS CLOSE

I myself often forget there's only a very tiny sliver of Oklahoma which keeps Texas from touching Colorado... in my head Utah and Colorado are reversed, making Denver a West Coast town.

you are ALL in a foreign country to me.

oh god
--homosexual II

I just mean you think similar, like relative to California, Canada is close is all

xpost