Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

lol i just met a co-worker in the bathroom and as we were exiting I was first so grabbed the handle to push the door and she starts swatting me with a paper towel going "Ew! Don't touch that!" *swat* *swat*

― (✿◠‿◠) (ENBB)

Tell her since everyone else uses paper towels on the door, it's perfectly clean.

That's exactly what I said to her tbh.

word for word

Ha, I would do that here but no one does the "Ewww" thing.

I'm never sure what thread to post stuff like this in but:

"Huh, I've never seen that before. I wonder what it is, what the Jew walking by is wearing."

???? Obvious problem aside, how did they ID the person as a Jew?

(Also, at first I thought the person was saying "what the Jew" as an exclamation "what the Jew is that person wearing?!" )

There were two Hasidic Jews walking by and one was wearing a prayer shawl over his shirt.

I also worked with someone who described someone on SNL as "the young Jew." I think she meant Andy Samberg.

Hey at least they didnt call them hymies like my dad once did loudly in the street :/

If the person in front of me doesn't stop laughing her goofy and extremely loud guffaw I'm going to eviscerate her with my Game of Thrones Needle replica letter opener.

Actually it's a WHINNY. Yes, you heard me.

I've got two of the most annoying laughers I've ever heard within 20 feet of me and they both go steadily throughout the day, every single day. So I feel your pain.

One is a whinny, the other more of a stuttering cackle.

Iow I will STICK HER WITH THE POINTY END.

Is this person related to the donkey that works with darraghmac, I wonder?

I have a co-worker who laughs like Phyllis Diller. O_o

i will take people laughing over people yelling any day.

Was in the bathroom washing my fork when a coworker came in and started raging about the hand dryers and how all they did was use HOT AIR to BLOW GERMS around the bathroom because heat creates germs, right? "Right..." I said because I didn't want to get into an argument with an angry coworker when all I was armed with was a fork. She waved her hand at the floor, which was dirty with gray spots that I think are from a combo of regular floor dirty and water that spatters from peoples' hands as they traverse the bathroom to use the hand dryers*, and said, "You can see all the bacteria and spores all over the floor because the hot hair just blows the germs right down there!" I just took my fork and went back to my desk.

Earlier today she complimented me on the blouse I am wearing by saying, "That is a nice blouse. It reads well. I can really tell." Tell what? TELL WHAT????

*The worst thing about the hand dryers, IMO, is that they put them across the room from the sinks instead of to the right or left where there is space so the floor in the bathroom is always wet.

co-worker referred to above said something bitchy aloud about a project i wrote. this dude's riding my back, made more annoying by the fact that he sits behind me. done everything to be nice and respectful. what should i do here? have it out with him? talk to my boss? guy's getting on my nerves, and he's trying to be the gunner of the office, which only makes it more annoying.

Manager(s), I am so fucking sorry for making any effort whatsoever to go above my most basic duties as a stock person at your horribly fucking run and inventory systemless (!!!) store. I very foolishly thought that alerting you to forgotten products on our backstock shelves or errors in our system would somehow be beneficial in selling more shit and completely failed to realize how much more inconvenient it would make your jobs. I was under the impression that suggesting and implementing more efficient + thorough methods of completing departmental tasks would somehow benefit anything or anyone at all ever and totally dropped the ball by not recognizing that you prefer unnecessary work that makes us look busy to actually-quantifiable increases in sales and productivity. Please just do us both a favor and fire me or stab me in the fucking face.

I'm going to hope for choice A because it would 1) leave you free for DC housesitting and 2) spare your awesome face!

never having seen your face, i'm indifferent.

If you get stabbed in the face for a work related reason and didn't instigate the fight and live in IL you can get workers' comp benefits.

I hope neither tbh but Jesus some of these managers really suck at like being good at their jobs

- Guy who insists on slamming the phone down every time he speaks to his ex-wife (which, to be fair to the guy, is a lot, she phones him every five minutes and drives him mental). She can't hear the slam!

- Guy across the room who commentates to himself on his entire day "I'll just send this then I'll go and get some soup" "I'll just check these trains are ok" "I'll call Stevie then take lunch" "I'd better check the weather forecast" "Right, I'll need to stay to six tonight" etc - a constant conversation with himself. He lives alone, I assume he does it for his entire waking life.

Maybe he's desperately lonely but doesn't know how to strike up a conversation with other people and is hoping somebody will respond. You should. To everything he says.

I wouldn't want to encourage him. He does engage with others occasionally, usually to tell them what soups are on the lunch menu and how he rates them.

The same guy has a blue folder marked "PHOTOCOPYING" in which his places his shower gel, shampoo and deodorant when he goes to use the gym showers halfway through the afternoon, while he's getting paid to work.

He also does an annoying spoken word singing thing, where he takes a David Bowie or Pink Floyd or Beatles song and thinks he's singing it but is actually doing William Shatner with an Edinburgh accent. He picks one song and repeats two lines from it for the entire day.

I think I must have mentioned him upthread somewhere.

He would fit in so well where I work.

how do you put shampoo in a folder

These shitheads aren't my coworkers, but my professional colleagues so I'll put this here:

Was riding in the elevator with a couple of attorneys. One said that when insurance companies cut off his client's benefits, he tells the clients the name of the insurance adjuster and where she works and "they will reinstate his benefits right away." His friend asked him for clarification and he said that his clients will "go to where she works" and wait in the parking lot for her, or sometimes follow her home. He then said something about how "these guys" are really intimidating, gangster types.

He was using female pronouns. I honestly don't know what the gender breakdown of insurance adjusters are. I do know that this guy is intentionally giving personal information about insurance adjuster to his "intimidating, gangster" clients with the intent of letting his clients stalk and harass women into reinstating benefits.

The guy he was with just laughed, like "haha good idea." I was dumbfounded. I still am!

In less horrible stupid annoying coworker gripes:

Does Jay Cutler's wife having a baby really warrant a delighted, ear-piercing squeal and a shouted conversation over the wall of your cubicle??????

For some reason the latter gripe upsets me more. I guess shady attorneys being shady isn't as big of news, however appalling their behavior.

I am so taken aback that I feel I can more than make up for Je55e's share of taken-abackness.

I'm debating whether I should report him to the body that governs attorney ethics stuff, actually. Because that is just not okay.

Boss [writing an email]: Can anyone check I've got the definition of 'punctiliousness' correct?

Me: I think it means adhering stringently to small rules and details - you know, like table manners and stuff...

Boss: Hmmm, no, I think 'punctiliousness' refers to the act of being punctual.

Me: I think you're thinking of 'punctuality'

irony lols

carl - that's insane! if what dude's saying is true, it's only a matter of time before one of these adjusters winds up dead in the parking lot! omg!

The same guy has a blue folder marked "PHOTOCOPYING" in which his places his shower gel, shampoo and deodorant when he goes to use the gym showers halfway through the afternoon, while he's getting paid to work.

I love every part of this, wholeheartedly.

I'm debating whether I should report him to the body that governs attorney ethics stuff, actually. Because that is just not okay.

Uh yeah that is TOTALLY NOT OKAY and you should say something! Holy shit.

- Guy who insists on slamming the phone down every time he speaks to his ex-wife (which, to be fair to the guy, is a lot, she phones him every five minutes and drives him mental). She can't hear the slam!

He blocked her number on his work phone. Now he hangs up on her on his mobile which involves no slamming but still lots of shouting. Apparently he has two phones, one regular phone she doesn't have the number for, and another exclusively to allow her to contact him when necessary (i.e. to argue about money and childcare) - their definitions of necessary seem miles apart.

Remind me to never get divorced.

Today's lyric from shower guy is "my kind OF TOWN... CHICAGO is... my kind... of... PEOPLE...(repeat)" - he has gone momentarily quiet in order to eat soup ("Oriental vegetable broth, it's got a nice wee spicy hint of cinnamon").

It's not Steve n's boss is it?

A thread for Steve n.'s list of songs that his boss sings

xpost onimo, re: shower guy. that's kind of cute on paper. probably not in real life.

that steve n thread is the funniest thing ever.

he's a nice guy, just a little strange and has his own way of doing things, and those things rarely involve doing any work

xpost

that steve n post is originally from somewhere away way way up the top of this thread!

Our version of this guy this morning is endlessly looping "when you were young ba DA you reached for the sun doo DOO doo doo shine on you craaaaaaZEE diamond..." - note incorrect lyrics - this all "sung" in a passable William Shatner recital with an Edinburgh accent.

― the innermost wee guy (oimo), Friday, 1 May 2009 10:57 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I knew I'd mentioned him :)

We have the girl who sings "Tell me lies/Tell me secrets and lies". We've told her those are the wrong words, but she doesn't listen.

Y'all work in Office Space. I mean - people talking to themselves and singing or whistling out loud all day? Would be nerve wracking in a traditional office setting.

Talking about elections with a co-worker the other day, co-worker was surprised I had an opinion : "I didn't know you were an American. I thought your family was foreign."! Yes, this is a US workplace.

I don't know how big the sample size is or what, but I thought the results of this one question quiz on a website might be of interest to you people:

Does the sound of other people chewing fill you with rage?

Not sure 5%
No 73%
Yes 21%

I find it hard to believe that nearly a quarter of the population doesn't want to murder people who make chewing noises because my reaction to such noises are so IMMEDIATE and STRONG.