no boys allowed in the room!!!!

Macy's EXCUSE ME I MEAN MACY*S is a horror show. And so dirty.

hs, you and I will do the 8-hour shakedown of all the discount stores and clothe ourselves splendidly for a year in one day of shopping. I'm with ya, sister.

I hate clothes shopping enough that I have limited my shopping world to online and the bottom two floors of Nordstrom (bottom for clothes and underthings, one floor up for cosmetics, shoes, the occasional belt). I can totally see how the organization seems confusing to the uninitiated, but it really is a very practical arrangement!

Nordstrom is my favorite department store but I don't have to $ to shop there often. Went to the Nordstrom Rack in Chicago but I didn't find anything :( boo. Most Macy's are shitty but the one in Chicago was so nice and pretty!

I also love in store cafes. My mom and I used to go to the one in Nordstrom on Long Island and the Macy's in NYC.

that sounds like heaven, Laurel! also quincie, can i buy your fall work wardrobe for you?

OH MY GOD YES that would be soooooooooo awesome!!!

There is little I like less than clothes shopping. I went to an outlet center today and it was a nightmare but I got what I intended (not stuff for me) so in that respect it was successful.

nordstrom rack is v v hit or miss for sure. also ime at the chicago racks, often a stampede of crazed bargain-hunters.

xp yay! i am all about this, ilx women. let me personal shop for you!!!

I love my State St. Macy's but I think it's a flagship so they keep it nice.

Nordstrom proper in Chicago is on Michigan Ave which is its own nightmare, plus I can't walk there from work. Plus they have a shit shit shitty plus size selection.

UGH the flagship Macy's store in NY doesn't even have a nice place to eat now. I don't know what it had when you were younger, but I do remember maybe 6 yrs ago they turned the basement into a "food court" but all the vendors were a) independent, and b) as good as nice restaurant food. I guess that was too much work to coordinate because within a couple of years they outsourced the whole food area to one contractor and it turned into complete shit. It's like a hospital caf with a slightly wider selection now.

Er that was xp to ENBB.

you definitely need to fortify yourself with food on the hour if you're going to brave a nordstrom rack/filene's/tj maxx/marshall's/syms type situation.

xp :( that really sucks about the plus-size section, Jenny. sometimes i look at salon z by saks online and they have some nice stuff, but it is $$$. also not enough nice stuff imo.

but i suck at thrift store shopping. i am just bourgie.

The Macy's I was in in Chicago was in the loop and close to the nordstrom rack. It was really pretty inside. Is that the state street one? I think it had an old marshall field sign outside. :)

Oh that's a shame, Laurel. It definitely had a nice cafe on one of the upper floors years ago.

A plus-sized boutique just opened on the main st by my apartment, I think it's sizes 12-24? They had an opening day party when I biked by! I suspect their style will be...flamboyant, though, and not very helpful to ilx-type laydeez. Otoh hs might just find something in a nice fuchsia & gold lame.

horseshoe it would also be awesome if you could review my existing wardobe (which given its size will take approximately two minutes) so you can tell me what to keep, and also figure out what new stuff I should add to the staples. What I'm saying is I think you will need to come to DC and stay the night. I will lay in lots of wine!!!!

you definitely need to fortify yourself with food on the hour if you're going to brave a nordstrom rack/filene's/tj maxx/marshall's/syms type situation.

Yeah, this is what I can't do. The idea of browsing through rack after rack of crap to find things scares me. Plus I really hate trying on stuff. Basically I just suck at shopping for anything that isn't an accessory.

Shopping is more fun if you've reached a mutually satisfactory truce with your actual physical body.

Otoh hs might just find something in a nice fuchsia & gold lame.

― check the name, no caps, boom, i'm (Laurel), Saturday, July 28, 2012 7:06 PM (27 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol i once bought a gold lame bathing suit from an online plus-size retailer but it is not a reasonable garment and i have never been able to wear it.

also, quincie, it's a date!

See my Macy's has the Walnut Room, the 7th floor food court with food stations by bigwig local chefs (Rick Bayliss! Plus two other dudes I can't remember) AND a basement food court with a hot food bar that has really good meatloaf and macaroni and cheese. Also a Starbucks (maybe two, actually - one in the basement and one on an upper floor). All that was there when it was Marshall Field so Macy's only deserves credit for not fucking up an existing goof thing.

Xp yeah, E! That's the one!

(i would be guided by your personal style, of course; i would never foist gold lame on others just because i shop for clothes like i shop for candy)

Shopping is more fun if you've reached a mutually satisfactory truce with your actual physical body.

― check the name, no caps, boom, i'm (Laurel), Saturday, July 28, 2012 7:07 PM (11 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I imagine it would be. One day. Hopefully.

if i could afford it i'd by lots of classiques entier and lafayette 148 staples for my professional wardrobe fwiw

buy, i meant

x-posts Yeah, CA that was a beautiful store. I was really impressed by it. Some nice things too! I bought a skirt and a lip gloss oh and a handbag that was sold to me by the most wonderful advanced style type of old lady (http://advancedstyle.blogspot.com/). It was great.

Actually I think I could do gold lame and fushia if someone just showed me how! My personal style is boring not because that is what I like, but what I can manage given my shopping aversion. I have subscriptions to Vogue and Bazaar, so clearly I like more fashion-y things than I actually wear!

i think you are wrong because i definitely get a stylish vibe off your ilx persona

hahaha that is kind, but you shall be disappointed :)

I will try to budget for a nice piece or two from the top floor (e.g. classiques or layfayette 128). I don't buy stuff often and I wear my clothes for years and years and years, so I can justify the occasional pricey piece!

Macy's is often terrible, and I don't think I've ever bought anything in Nordstrom other than Xmas decs - but all of the (two) Nordstroms I have had food in the restaurant of, have been *really* good for a mall kind of place. The one in SF has white chocolate bread pudding which is sooo good.

Shopping is better in the UK I think, less department store navigating and tons of more do-able mid-range high st shops.

Nordstrom Rack is my faves clothing store of that type – way less trashed than your average Ross. I still shop at all those places because I loves $$$deals$$$. The great thing about Nordstrom Rack is it has SO MANY size 10 shoes available. Ridiculous amounts. Maybe because they are a harder-to-sell size?

for my whole life i've loved listening to dressed up old ladies in department store tearooms who wear hats and tuck into cream cakes with gusto and stoically discuss heartbreaking events. they are getting rarer but there are still a few around. my sister heard one talking about her daughter's marriage breakup, she said of her former son-in-law, 'unfortunately he let himself down very badly', which she found a refreshing and intriguing apportionment of responsibility for whatever had transpired. the person my sister was with started going on about something less interesting so she missed the rest.

my favourite department store tearoom in christchurch made it through the earthquakes, displaying the same knack for survival as its patrons. i cried when i heard it was reopening, so much of the city has gone but it's still there.

tons of more do-able mid-range high st shops

Agreed. I also like Debenhams a lot though. I miss Dorothy P though I think they may even ship here now.

I do appreciate the selection of 10 and up shoes at N Rack, that is true.

Dorothy Perkins ships to the US, yes.

yeah i am always meaning to order dorothy perkins stuff

:D I'd forgotten that they did. Oh man, this is exciting.

God damn, I would love to have you come over and be my personal shopper, Horseshoe. Like, you go out and do all what my mum calls "the hunter-gathering" and I just sit in splendour in the book department and you come in and say "how about this?" and I either shake my head or try it on.

Which, actually, mirrors a lot of my shopping experiences growing up. So much so that I almost wonder if it's not that the ~shopping gene~ skips a generation, as that when you have one generation that's really into shopping, the one who is often shopped for becomes lazy and thinks of shopping as a different thing. Like, I resent not having someone go out and do the hard work of looking for the right size.

It's not even that I'm not at peace with my body (though I will never forgive it for the fleshy orbs it sprouted on my chest when I was 12. Never.) it's that I'm not at peace with shops that have half a dozen size 10s and nothing remotely near something that will fit me. That just makes shopping awful, like "here are all the lovely things you could have, if you were just... less."

I know that places like TK Maxx are cheap *because* they do not employ enough people to go round and sort everything by size/theme/brand/etc. But jesus christ it is worth going to a pricier place that employs enough helpful shop assistants to put the racks in order and even - gasp! - cheerfully offer to go and find you another size if the one you have isn't right. (It also helps if the shop assistants are closer to my age and understand about middle aged bodies, as opposed to, you know, 12 year olds who think it's acceptable to wear tights as outer garments.) If spending a few extra pounds per garment pays their salaries, good god, will happily pay it. I am so middle aged and middle class now it's not even funny.

One of my biggest problems is that I find a nice, smaller boutiquey kind of shop which does exactly what I want for about a season or two - and then I don't know if they change designers or go for a different market, but then the next time I go shopping there, the stuff I like has gone, and it's full of pastel girly-girl stuff. Ugh. Do not want. It happened at Monsoon, it happened at East, and now it seems to be happening at Seasalt - this season was the first time there was absolutely *nothing* I wanted in their catalogue. I hope it's an aberration and they will be back to normal in the Autumn.

^^^so much OTMness in this post, WCC!

and then I don't know if they change designers or go for a different market

I think that trends just change, and the boutiques shift styles to follow the trends. It really annoys me, too. Like, let's get past this high-low hem thing, please, so I can buy dresses again. (Nothing against any fans of the high low hem, but I dislike it for me immensely plus I think it's going to look very dated in eight months.)

This, plus elastic waists, polyester dresses that ALL hit mid thigh, short skirts with long sheer skirt overlay (thought this was only on gofugyourself but someone got on my local bus wearing one), baggy short tops, tops that seem nice and practical but are ALL sheer >:(

tops that seem nice and practical but are ALL sheer

Oh yeah discovered this when shopping for work clothes. WTF. It always makes me think of Bridge to Teribithia, the older sister has scandalized everyone by wearing a see-through shirt. That's a sad book; I don't want to think about it over and over when buying career separates!

Plus I guess they're terribly impractical clothes and also usually polyester.

Yeah I bought a high-low hem skirt recently even though I have misgivings about the look. I even think it looks fine; it's just got an expiration date of a few months.

polyester dresses that ALL hit mid thigh

Arg yes. I'm hopelessly old fashioned in my skirt length preferences. My favorite is somewhere from below the knee to mid-calf (I KNOW!) but at least has to hit at just below the knee. Unless it's a pencil skirt, then at the knee is good. My best bet now is to buy maxi-dresses and hem them when it's no longer trendy to wear the equivalent of a nightgown out in public.

That will be a sad day for me, by the way. I love wearing nightgowns to work.

OH you know what? I have a high-low hem skirt, but it's more like it's got an upside-down U shaped slit in it, which I wear off to one side despite where the tags are.

I just realised one of my favourite work skirts is knee-length at the back then kind of goes into a lower point at the front/side. So I'm guilty of the high-low skirt after all!

OK, stupid me for thinking I could ask this question on a thread with men on it, and think I could get a real answer.

How do you tell when you're attracted to someone?

It's a simple enough question, right? Can I get some suggestions? Because it's hard to tell. I can tell if I'm definitely *not* attracted to someone. But figuring out if I definitely am attracted to someone? I feel like I need a better set of metrics.

On a very basic level, you would look forward to seeing/hearing from them vs. hope that this never happens?

These are some of the ways I know:
– #1 I don't feel incredibly self-conscious around them (ideally this translates as comfy vibes – butterflies or whatever can still be there but I don't feel like a fuck-up around them)
– blushing, laughing
– I think about them when I'm not around them, or they come to my mind by surprise, and once again they're not awful thoughts
– They suggest something maybe outside your comfort zone – not anything huge but like 'hey let's ice skate' and you've never done it before – and it sounds fun
– You read or see something and think 'hey that dude would like this I should show him'

Yes, I would look forward to seeing them again and hope I do. But I also look forward to seeing friends in whom I have no romantic or sexual interest.

It is probably too early to tell. I just feel so lost in all this.

Ah, thanks Beckott, that is a good bunch of things to look out for, in future.