no boys allowed in the room!!!!

These suggestions have been v v useful, though. I'm going to go and dye my hair now because 2 inch roots are never attractive.

Hey, you know what makes bra shopping a lot easier? Being willing to spend more money to go to a place where you just stand there and they fit you. Yes, you will have to let some bossy old lady (aren't they always bossy old ladies, where DO they find them) see you in your bra, but she does it for a living and you look just like everyone else she helps so no biggie. And she throws three bras at you and you're done for a year, and a year later you can just order the same thing again if they still fit.

I wouldn't even know where to go for that. It's not like I don't have money. I just don't ever buy bras from anywhere that isn't Marks & Sparks.

Mens shirts are always trouble because if they fit me in the shoulder, then they have *gaping* problems at the bust
Ok, here's a solution to the gaping bust problem: take your button-down shirt to the tailor and have them just sew it up. It is now a pull-over with decorative buttons.

There's no way it will go over my shoulders/back if it is sewn up! I guess I just need to buy bigger shirts. I have a couple of women's shirts that are like, UK size 22 or something, and though they flap in awkward places, they don't have gaping problems.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW WHERE TO GO, THAT'S WHAT GOOGLE IS FOR.

DON'T MAKE ME YELL AT YOU!

Honestly I like the idea of menswear but button-up shirts never fit me either so I've basically completely given up on them. On the rare occasion, I solve the gaping problem with double-sided dress tape--it's SUPER sticky and you can get a pack of like 50 pieces for $10 or something.

I used to be able to get away with those little gold safety pins. But even they pucker.

Don't sew it up all the way, leave room for your head.

Better yet have them sew it closed ON you and just wear it into the shower. Be sure to get one of those permanent-press/no-iron kinds, though!

I would love to do that. I would have made an excellent Elizabethan. But these days, people tend to object to the smell if you are sewn into your clothes.

I do, however, need to dig out my awesome tie collection. Because I do have a great one, and I've no idea where they've all got to. I inherited all my father's 60s Liberty print skinny ties. They are ~amazing~.

GIRRRRL go the tailor across the street from work and ask what you should look for in a shirt that you're going to have altered and then go out and buy at least two in solid colors (because the alternations might make stripes crooked) and have them taken in with waist and bust darts and then wear them with your ties and THEN talk to me.

I love ladies in ties. I would like to be a lady who wears ties but I don't feel quite right in them. Maybe I should try wearing a tie with a dress...

My Secret to Bra Shopping: go to a fancy department store. Get measured. Try on lots of bras. Figure out the size/brand that you like the best. Buy that kind of bra (one in beige/brown and one in black) for the rest of your life. Then it only hurts the first time you shop. Or until they stop making the bra you like and you have to go back for another try.

Ties with dresses are so mod! Love them. I love shirt-dresses, too, but again--never fit.

i used to do that - i think i still have a few of the ties i modified, including the pink vinyl "klaus barbie" tie

I have two shirt dresses that fit pretty well. I had a lot of luck with eShakti.com for a few years. Their standard 22 is pretty much right on for my measurements.

WCC, maybe try bravissimo for getting measured for bras--they're only in UK and have a great rep for fitting busty people well.

there's one online busty-people clothing vendor that uses hook-and-eyes instead of buttons in the bust area, so there's no gaping. that seems like a possible mod for existing shirts?

I think Curvy Kate is also UK and are all about pretty bras for women who actually have women boobs.

OK no first hand experience but I think this is important:

"CLASSIC WHITE SHIRTS FOR THE LARGE BUSTED WOMAN
WHO CARES ABOUT FIT AND QUALITY"

http://campbellandkate.com/

Campbell & Kate is a clothing company in New York City with a specialty line of shirts for the professional woman who wears a bra cup size D-H and a dress size 4-14.

^^^^^yeah, fucken LOL. Only skinny women with big tits may apply. No fatties allowed. Dear Campbell and Kate: GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

Anyway, I am now officially middle aged. Because I forced myself to walk up and down the High Street and in the end the only shop that had anything I liked was Marks & Sparks. 10 years ago, I'd be all "ugh, old ladies" but now I'm just "hmmm, this is really classy and classic." SHOOT ME NOW. I got some lovely loose oversized shirts with military sort of styling. And waistcoats. I got a blue paisley waistcoat - my inner 19 year old Church fan is squeeing happily.

I am now starting to grade which UK high street shops don't bat an eyelid at an unaccompanied woman entering the mens department to shop. Marks & Sparks and House of Fraser get a pass, but Debenhem's is a big fail for the gentleman who was shocked - SHOCKED - that I was shopping for myself.

Which is kind of a shame because the mens clothes there were definitely the best. If I were a man, I would be such a clotheshorse! Seriously, I would just buy and wear all the clothes in the world. But shopping for womens clothes is just endless "ugh, ugh, yuck, ugh, no, why can't this cover mine arms, can you make it less *frilly* please?" It doesn't seem fair.

BTW M&S do bra fittings (at least, the Oxford one does - they take appointments but I didn't realise that and just turned up and they fitted me in within half an hour). Think House of Fraser do too; there isn't one here but I got measured at the one in Cheltenham a few years ago.

One of the specialist places mentioned upthread is almost certainly better at the less catered-for ends of the size spectrum, but if you're going to M&S/HoF anyway...

There are many OTM things on this thread re clothes and androgynous chic, sigh. At least you got some years of being the right shape to pull off the "Weimar Lesbian look" (heh); even when I was half my current age and clothes size I had a big square face and hamster cheeks which made me not really capable of the mid-90s Frischmann/Sadier look I was sort of aiming for, or at least daydreaming of

Ha! I never had the cheekbones to pull of a Frischmann/Sadier look. When I was thin, I had a big long horse face. But the only time in my life I was thin enough to pull off that look, I lived off vodka and nutrigrain bars and walked everywhere because I was too poor to take the bus. It wasn't a healthy thing to do.

I will probably look into getting a bra fitting at M&S or HoF since I went to the ones in Croydon which are 5 minutes from where I work anyway, it would be easy to go back. I was just not in the mood for any more clothes shopping at that point.

Sounds like your shopping went not-so-bad, yay! No reason to push it at this point if you are tired of it.

(I have been trying to get myself to go score some new work clothes while the big US department stores are having their major sales, but keep stalling and stalling and stalling because I just don't find it that fun.)

Oh god, going through big department stores when there are major sales on is just complete hard work.

My Mum lives for that sort of thing, she will shop for hours if she thinks she will net a bargain but I just find it exhausting.

I've gotten good at very quickly identifying dresses that are likely to work for me; pants is much, much harder because you really can't tell a thing until they are on you. I stick to a very narrow range of dress styles, so I get to eliminate a lot right off the bat. I also stick to stores that actually sort dresses by size as opposed to having huge jumbled clearance racks of everything in every size, a la TJ Maxx (which I just refuse to do now, even if it means I miss out on bargains).

There is a reason I have never been and will never be a successful thrifter.

Oh and my mom is like yours; that trait must skip generations!

quincie we are like shopping sisterz. For some reason I thought I would go to Nordstrom Rack yesterday and I got a headache and left before I even looked though one rack of clothes.

Oh I give Nordstrom Rack wide berth, believe me!

Now regular Nordstrom, that I can get behind. I can park right by the entrance so I never have to enter "rest of the mall" territory, and they have a CAFE where I can take a break and have a nice bowl of tomato soup when I get overwhelmed. Merchandise is nicely organized, dressing rooms are not a disaster, and the staff are generally quite pleasant and helpful.

Actually I once came home and announced that in the future, I would only shop in department stores with sit-down cafes. The old Lord and Taylor in DC used to have on, and I liked that store for suites. Cafe was closed down, sadly. Now it is just Nordstrom for me.

I liked the L&T for suits, not suites.

If only I could find a department store that had a cafe that served alcohol, my shopping life would 100X improved.

i can never understand regular nordstrom! how do you find anything, it's organized so weird

i am wearing a shirt i got at nordstrom rack. it was truly chaotic and i hated it!

Lunch restaurants at stores make so much sense and are very civilized. Part of an old-fashioned kind of luxury shopping where you go for the day but at a leisurely pace, and every time you buy something, you give it to a sales person and they keep all your purchases until you're ready to leave the store. I wonder if any stores still do that for normal shoppers, or only the top, top most spendy ones.

I love the Walnut Room, which is the restaurant in Macy's, formerly Marshall Field, on State St. Love it. They serve booze! When I was a kid my mom, grandmom, and I would go shopping and each lunch in the cafe at I think Bloomingdales. I still associate club sandwiches and iced tea with shopping and being a grown up lady.

i love regular nordstrom and nordstrom rack! but i am kind of a cathy cartoon when it comes to shopping, i guess.

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e66/LimitedLiabilityGirl/eastgrandrapids.jpg

nordstrom was the first thing i missed about chicago, which i guess is sort of shameful.

Oh, carl, me too! We would always have quiche lorraine and tea.

Let me help you with your Nordstrom problems:

It is organized by budget!!! So, like, on the top floors, you have the priciest brands, and they are arranged roughly by how how au currant the selection is: "Savvy" describes itself as "Edgy, of-the-moment looks for the confident, fashion-forward woman. Featured brands: J Brand, MARC BY MARC JACOBS and Joie." Think 20-something fashionista's with their parent's credit card. Also "Collectors," which is 60-something Valentino/Oscar de la Renta ladies who lunch rags.

Moving on to "Individualist," you get "A collection of the most sought-after styles that take you from desk to dinner with ease. Featured brands: Vince, Theory, Tory Burch, Diane von Furstenberg, Milly and kate spade new york." Think 30-something fashionista, with or without parent's credit card.

Rounding out the top floor, we have Studio 121 (suits and workday separates) and Narrative (somewhat more casual, but aimed at a fairly conservative, older crowd), and t.b.d. (high end denim and curiously expensive tees). Then the "Women's" department (larger ladies), evening wear (for all those galas the top-floor crowd attends), and coats (in season).

Taking the escalator down one floor, we find cosmetics, accessories, shoes, and the Men's department--pretty straightforward.

Down another floor, you enter Quincie territory: "Point of View," which is like a down-market version of the top floor--think more Macy's pricing, but fuck a Macy's because that place is always such a disaster that I swear I'd rather go naked. Also on this floor is the best bra shopping experience in the city. And the cafe about which we have spoken previously. Also juniors, with it's own shoe department (worth a visit; cheaper than upstairs shoe department and sometimes has good finds). Tiny children's section--you don't find many kids running around Nordstrom (bonus!). There is like a small corner with shit resembling a "home" department, but it reminds me more of the tiniest Gump's every--more hostess-gift-for-the-hamptons sort of thing.

I hope you have found this guide to Nordstrom helpful. If you need further assistance, please see Customer Service on the top floor, near Savvy.

i hate macy's a lot

And every time we lunched there, my mom would tell us that when she went as a little girl with HER mother, they all wore white gloves. (She spent a lot of that era reminiscing about white gloves. And Easter bonnets. And...things from her childhood, I think. I wonder what was going on for her that those memories were so strong then.)

Dude, quince, that's quite an overview.

Macy's EXCUSE ME I MEAN MACY*S is a horror show. And so dirty.

hs, you and I will do the 8-hour shakedown of all the discount stores and clothe ourselves splendidly for a year in one day of shopping. I'm with ya, sister.

I hate clothes shopping enough that I have limited my shopping world to online and the bottom two floors of Nordstrom (bottom for clothes and underthings, one floor up for cosmetics, shoes, the occasional belt). I can totally see how the organization seems confusing to the uninitiated, but it really is a very practical arrangement!

Nordstrom is my favorite department store but I don't have to $ to shop there often. Went to the Nordstrom Rack in Chicago but I didn't find anything :( boo. Most Macy's are shitty but the one in Chicago was so nice and pretty!

I also love in store cafes. My mom and I used to go to the one in Nordstrom on Long Island and the Macy's in NYC.

that sounds like heaven, Laurel! also quincie, can i buy your fall work wardrobe for you?

OH MY GOD YES that would be soooooooooo awesome!!!

There is little I like less than clothes shopping. I went to an outlet center today and it was a nightmare but I got what I intended (not stuff for me) so in that respect it was successful.