Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

"I'm about to have a hot flash!"

and then got more aggressive from there

Using menopause as a threat, thats a unique one.

i'm supposed to be in the office on my own ffs stop wandering in here to have yr inane conversations and let me play nethack in peace

HOW DO YOU NOT LOVE THIS WOMAN???

I'm still a little bitter about the time I found one of my coworkers collapsed unconscious on the bathroom floor, went to the security guard for help, and she proceeded to run in and out of the bathroom yelling "Oh Jesus! Help me Jesus!" Quit calling Jesus and call 911, you dingbat!

I admit to appreciating her, however, as her weirdness does add to the absurdity of my work situation and sometimes that absurdity is the only thing that gets me through my day.

What had happened to your co-worker, if you don't mind me asking?

I don't know specifically. She's in her mid to late 80s (lol public employees wringing every last penny out of their pension) so it could have been a whole host of things. She's been back at work for a couple of years now and is as crabby and gossip-mongering as ever.

(I eventually told the security guard, "Go get [coworker who sits closest to the bathroom and isn't completely useless in a crisis] and tell her to come here NOW," and then sent that person to call 911. So she's not totally ineffective if you give her very explicit instructions.)

About three months ago, I was talking to a coworker at the water cooler when he suddenly collapsed in pain and had to be called away in an ambulance due to a low back spasm, and then about a year and a half ago, another (now former) coworker waited in ambush behind a cubicle wall for his boss and then jumped out and beat the shit out of her. A year ago somebody from another agency jumped to her death from inside the building. I wasn't witness to the latter two although I was the pugilistic coworker's union steward.

So, you know, the security guard should really be able to step up in a crisis.

o_O

remind me to never visit carl's work.

And after ten years, tips!

http://lifehacker.com/5929218/the-worst-coworkers-and-workplace-annoyances-and-how-to-deal-with-them

No tips for dealing with loud chewing or burned popcorn, no credibility.

Jeez, an 80-year-old working isn't against the law?

My complaints (weird social caste politics, mostly) about work are pretty trivial compared to these Wal-Mart people.

Today I am helping organise the world's most inane Guinness world record attempt, something I have no interest in and no belief in the value of, which is scheduled to take place on Saturday, 28 July, when you can guarantee that there will not be even the slightest bit of media interest due to a certain big sports event starting. The people who came up with this are idiots.

ffs ffs ffs ffs ffs ffs ffs ffs

LOL james that sounds like the time my old boss came up with this mad idea to send a camera up in a weather balloon to take pics of the earth from on high, til it came back down.. we were all "someones already done it?" and he didnt care, he was so excited and planning it and testing cameras in freezers ....

it never ended up happening. No one really cared, lol.

Someone did a series of find & replaces in a large Excel file I maintain and now nothing makes sense. Fuck you!!

It's been bugging me for a while that in Word documents that the associate attorney I work with (bitched about frequently above) writes, URLs and email addresses show up as plain text instead of links or even underlined and in blue. Even when I open them on my computer, they won't become links.

Before he came in this morning I went into his office and looked at his settings on Word and saw that he had turned off every auto-correct/replace and auto-format option. Even smart quotes.

The only method I can see for turning off all these options is clicking them one-by-one. If I didn't know him, I would think Word was messed up, but he definitely turned them all off on purpose.

I hate the setting that turns URLs to blue underlined links. I'd be okay with it if it just made it a link. Why does it have to be blue?

Bc links are a different color b/c it's a convention, just like underlining them. If they're not a different color they don't stand out as much and they look like underlined text. To me. And to other people, obviously, since it became a convention for a reason.

I don't like the automatic hyperlink feature either. I either turn them off or create custom templates where the hyperlink colour is not the default bright blue.

It would be different if I created Word documents for screen reading, but everything I write gets printed out and copied so clickable links are pointless and blue links look terrible on paper (they print light gray on a b&w printer). I'd be fine with blue clickable links if there was a separate style sheet for printing that turned the links black.

Hyperlink formatting is (or can be) kryptonite for people in print publishing.

:-/

I'm going to go bitch to my co-workers about my stupid annoying internet friends.

(joke - <3 - you're not stupid)

Before he came in this morning I went into his office and looked at his settings on Word and saw that he had turned off every auto-correct/replace and auto-format option. Even smart quotes.

As would I, that shit is ... shit. Smart quotes especially. WmC is right, it is the worst nightmare in printing.

LOL james that sounds like the time my old boss came up with this mad idea to send a camera up in a weather balloon

Hah ha. Although that would have been more fun than this nonsense. (I'm at work now on a Saturday for the first time in ages. How did I use to do this regularly?)

Hyperlink formatting is (or can be) kryptonite for people in print publishing.

Yeah, when you bring a Word doc into InDesign the links get boxes and become active for PDFs, but this sucks when you're doing a magazine or book because they look mental

>:(

I'm not talking about your fancy "print" and "magazines." We're just humble legal professionals printing on Konica Bizhubs and Canon printer/scanner/fax machine and sometimes converting to PDFs, and for us smart quotes and hyperlinks are convenient and useful.

I forgot to mention that I turned changed his auto-correct settings back to the way I thought they should be.

NOW who's a stupid, annoying co-worker, huh?

FWIW I think you can highlight links in word and change the colour if you want.

anticipating Jesse's coworker showing up here bitching about some insane coworker breaking into his/her office and changing all the settings on their computer!

All I'm saying is that this guy might have accidentally done something that you all agree with but he did it for all the wrong reasons.

We're just humble legal professionals printing on Konica Bizhubs and Canon printer/scanner/fax machine and sometimes converting to PDFs, and for us smart quotes and hyperlinks are convenient and useful.

I can definitely see the use there, and in fact more people than not would find it useful, so fair dos.

I kinda wish Je55e worked in one of those law offices where everyone is still clinging desperately to WordPerfect

I hear there are still a few of those left

I know someone who worked at a law software macro making company, called L4wperf3ct, for that very reason! Right up til recently (if not still).

God damn when I was in law school I clerked for one of those WordPerfect clinging offices. About a year ago, I invited me to lunch to gauge my interest in working for them as a lawyer (and then they hired the other person I clerked with and never called me to tell me; I found out via the other clerk's Facebook page, those fuckers) and I made a joke about how they used to use WordPerfect and they were like, Oh yeah, we still do because you can't convert to PDF via Word.

Jesus. Someone should direct them to this handy guide from a US court, where WordPerfect is still the only official word processing software hxxp://www.ilnd.uscourts.gov/home/cmecf/pdfs/v40/4-0_Create%20PDF%20from%20WordPerfect.pdf

I read a little about why WP is still so prevalent in the legal field, esp in federal courts and it seems like price and inertia are the biggest factors. One story from Federal Computer Week Magazine (!) said many members of the legal community prefer WordPerfect because of a function that allows users to view and edit formatting codes. They also like the software’s ability to display a variety of legal tools. But that reason seems like it at least partly falls under "Inertia" b/c Word can reveal formatting codes. IDK which legal tools they are referring to though.

these legal tools:
http://www.attorneymarketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/30/how-to-promote-your-legal-services-without-feeling-sleazy/340x_4c99dbb11f1be7c3c4.jpg
http://bankruptcygurus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/0183.jpg

hahaha THE HAMMER!

There are all sorts of legal tools for MS Word. smdh at these Word Perfect clingers. Also never underestimate inertia when you're dealing with lawyers and/or the government.

acc to wiki WordPerf doesn't seem all that bad? I mean not as bad as companies who are forced to keep machines running Win98 bcz some crucial piece of software was coded w VB6 and has never been updated (acc to my dad it's actually just cheaper a lot of times to keep selling outdated software that only works on obsolete machines)

No it's really terrible.

some moe syzlack type dude who sits behind me is getting on my shit. i got the vibes after a few weeks, but was confirmed today. did a good job and people went "yeah! spectrum!", and he came up to my cube and spouted some random-ass gibberish he was working on like he was gonna "get me" or something "oh yeah? do you know the g585890b on the spreadsheet??". this is the first time he's come up to speak to me in about a month. i'm like "yeah, good job dude" to kill the tension, but i think i'm done dealing with these trogs who get on me for being competent, particularly when i'm nice and respectful.

Crying out loud.

Two “colleagues” just having a chat about Friday’s opening Olympic ceremony, saying how bad it was and how they wanted Danny Boyle’s head on a spike. I kept my headphones on and pretended I couldn’t hear because I know how these things always end if I get involved.

I liked the ceremony, and understand why a lot of people wouldn’t, or didn’t, like it, but this really is Aidan Burley level…and I think, for the 5900th time in the last ten years, why am I working with people like this? Petty, pathetic, inadequate and I think beyond help. It reminds me that I ought to set about finding another way of making a living, maybe in another country, because this is just driving me nuts.

Air-conditioning wars.

It's 27C and v humid at our end of the office. I'm all sweaty and can't concentrate. But because it gets a bit cold at the other end of the office we can't have the A/C on. Why those fuckers can't just put a fucking jumper on is beyond me, it's not like I can sit around naked here.

Sounds like whoever planned and designed your office should have thought about it a bit more.

I am a firm believer that if you are cold, you put on a sweater because I sure as shit can't take anything else off.

My coworker asked if she could turn the heat on last Friday. It was around 90 F. She wanted the heat on because she was wearing a shirt skirt and short sleeves and still cannot get it together to bring a sweater to work despite having worked here for going on nine years. I just ignored her because if I had responded it would have been very mean.

Oh she tried to turn the heat on, but of course the heat is off in the building so it did nothing. And still, she doesn't bring a sweater.

don't be coy colonel poo - take yer top off

Ugh, my boss always adjusts the AC because one person is always cold. Meanwhile, I am always sweating to death.

Hurrah! One of the directors turned up and now the A/C is on. No striptease was necessary.

It reminds me that I ought to set about finding another way of making a living, maybe in another country, because this is just driving me nuts.

Trust me, there are annoying people like that in every country.

Last week it was 27C in the office and the woman who always complains it's too cold complained that it was too hot all day instead! Which was good because she let me open a window and have my fan on, but I could not work out what the fuck was so different from 2 days before when it was 26C in the office and I asked if I could open the window and she said "oh, but it's so cold and the wind will blow my papers away" (it was not windy that day at all and she's in the furthest corner from the window), so I turned my desk fan on instead and she whinged about it being noisy until I turned it off.

(everyone has these noisy little desk fans except her; she moved the one big silent fan from the corner to her desk and never uses it)