Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

thanks ffm!

those sound like pretty big errors -- you should use them as examples when you make your case for Style Advisor)

:D
lol the 2 coworkers I help the most were just talking about their reviews & how they want to ask for me to do a photoshop training! hell no, I will not train. I just want to do. ;)

everyone around me in my cuberhood is whispering. god i hate this shit. i want to walk around yelling "seeeeeecrets!"

"SEEEEeeecrets!"

i get that every once in a while you need to tell a secret, but this shit is getting out of hand. all i hear is "whs-whiissp-shhh-whissshp-sshwhwhs-E-XACT-LY-whsis--whiiissspper--whisper--whish-whissper-E-CACT-LY"

just make low -key grunting noises that sound like you are a zombie - its fun

everyone around me in my cuberhood is whispering. god i hate this shit. i want to walk around yelling "seeeeeecrets!"

Fuuuuuckk yessssssssss The very noise whispering makes is, in of itself, irritating but yeah the whole ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE? thing... so rude.

In an old, shitty govt job I had, a large bunch of the office ladies would drop into Greek when they wanted to bitch (and oh boy it was really obvious - everyone whos lived in melb for a few years picks up a little greek eventually). That caused a bit of a shitstorm when others complained. It was like "theyre bitching about us!" vs "you cant discriminate against my cultural background!" and eventually I just resigned bcz fuck that noise.

I'm seriously the cube in the center of this whispering club, but I think they don't mind me hearing the whispers because they're not talking about me and they know i won't rat them out (except, er, on the internet!). but the thing is, of course, when people talk shit all the time about other people, it makes you wonder what they're saying about you when you're not around.

Oh yeah, there are a group of girls in my office who all knew each other from college and they frequently walk around the office whispering and looking around. Its annoying. I just want to stand up and start singing that elementary school rhyme, "secrets secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone!".

Another attorney used the word "penultimate" in a decision he wrote, which apparently completely flummoxed my boss. He brought the word to my coworker, who had never heard of it, and he keeps talking about "He made me have to go to the dictionary!" and talking about how he's going to bust this other attorney's balls for using such a big word.

I am having that feeling again where I am pretty sure I am living in a different reality than everybody else around me.

Also the crazy hymn-singing security guard was having an animated phone conversation whilst mid-poop in the bathroom telling someone not to park in front of Miss Cookie's house because she'll steal the car and I could use some cheering today so...

http://i.imgur.com/7UPLUl.jpg

Seriously, though, penultimate is not a crazy big rare word, right? It's not like nonplussed where it looks like it would mean the opposite of what it means, or like sesquipedalian in that it's hard as hell to even sound out and seriously nobody uses that word. Right?

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0e3b1b27k1qzlxlho1_500.jpg
cat to rescue!

I love that cat.

Can that cat come hang out with me at work?

nah, penultimate is fine.

i remember being at a party once (IN CHICAGO) and i said "lynchian" and this girl got all pissed about it. earlier i had mentioned that i was heading off to graduate school in the fall and so she was like "are you going to study 'lynchian' things at grad school?" and laughed and laughed. it felt terrible

I would understand what you meant by "Lynchian" but it makes sense that someone at a party might not (although she shouldn't have made you feel bad about saying it, dang). It just seems like lawyers and judges should be familiar with words like penultimate. Or at least not act like it is some kind of AMAZING and NEVER BEFORE SEEN word that has never graced the pages of a legal opinion. I mean holy shit, do these people read case law? Even one time ever?

or just read in general!

but yeah, i shouldn't have said lynchian but thought the response was totally disproportionate to the mistake!

Totally disproportionate.

Shortly after The Shins Chutes Too Narrow came out I was talking with one of Jesse's friends at a bar and he mentioned liking the song So Says I and I started drunkenly babbling about Thomas Moore and what it meant in the song and how amazing it was and that dude actually did the thing where he looked around, said, "Ummmm... I need to go over here" and walked away from me to stand by himself at another part of the bar. To be fair, I was being a prat.

BUT come to think of it, this dude was part of a group of people who were really into being super exclusionary about their topics of conversation in an attempt to preserve the illusion of being some kind of small town intelligentsia to which the rest of us can only aspire so fuck that guy.

Uh, I thought you told me that you realized later that that guy was actually just not that bright and you had broken his brain. IIRC, you told me b/c you thought maybe you weren't making sense, but then you realized that you'd lost him and he was running away b/c he thought you were speaking in tounges.

He was a really nice guy, but he wasn't especially smart.

tongues

But one thing is for sure: your boss is really being penultimate.

In my callow youth, I'm sure I attributed his departure to his own stupidity but in hindsight, that feels like a crappy way to look at it. It's safer to assume that I was being a jerk because it will keep me from doing that again.

It's also possible I was speaking in drunken, slurred tongues and he just couldn't understand what the fuck I was talking about.

It was a funny anecdote when you first thought he was walking away out of pity to keep you from embarrassing yourself further with your facile and incorrect thoughts on Moore but then you realized he was just confused. Whatever, let's just settle on you both being too drunk to remember who the other was.

Sorry everyone. We're still waiting on Gr80 to build us our own thread.

crazy, antagonistic division meeting (about 20 people in the room). we were doing the regular thing, going around the room to provide updates. but this time, for whatever reason, people were just sniping at each other, making insults under their breath, admonishing others for whispering while they were speaking (and then proceeding to whisper themselves while others were speaking), rolling their eyes, for an hour straight. the one lady who got really antagonistic during her update started out with a surprising anecdote:

"I'm about to have a hot flash!"

and then got more aggressive from there

amazing!

The hymn singing security guard was just singing in the bathroom again, but not a hymn. Three Blind Mice. She was full on belting out Three Blind Mice, church-style, while in the stall.

HOW DO YOU NOT LOVE THIS WOMAN???

"I'm about to have a hot flash!"

and then got more aggressive from there

Using menopause as a threat, thats a unique one.

i'm supposed to be in the office on my own ffs stop wandering in here to have yr inane conversations and let me play nethack in peace

HOW DO YOU NOT LOVE THIS WOMAN???

I'm still a little bitter about the time I found one of my coworkers collapsed unconscious on the bathroom floor, went to the security guard for help, and she proceeded to run in and out of the bathroom yelling "Oh Jesus! Help me Jesus!" Quit calling Jesus and call 911, you dingbat!

I admit to appreciating her, however, as her weirdness does add to the absurdity of my work situation and sometimes that absurdity is the only thing that gets me through my day.

What had happened to your co-worker, if you don't mind me asking?

I don't know specifically. She's in her mid to late 80s (lol public employees wringing every last penny out of their pension) so it could have been a whole host of things. She's been back at work for a couple of years now and is as crabby and gossip-mongering as ever.

(I eventually told the security guard, "Go get [coworker who sits closest to the bathroom and isn't completely useless in a crisis] and tell her to come here NOW," and then sent that person to call 911. So she's not totally ineffective if you give her very explicit instructions.)

About three months ago, I was talking to a coworker at the water cooler when he suddenly collapsed in pain and had to be called away in an ambulance due to a low back spasm, and then about a year and a half ago, another (now former) coworker waited in ambush behind a cubicle wall for his boss and then jumped out and beat the shit out of her. A year ago somebody from another agency jumped to her death from inside the building. I wasn't witness to the latter two although I was the pugilistic coworker's union steward.

So, you know, the security guard should really be able to step up in a crisis.

o_O

remind me to never visit carl's work.

And after ten years, tips!

http://lifehacker.com/5929218/the-worst-coworkers-and-workplace-annoyances-and-how-to-deal-with-them

No tips for dealing with loud chewing or burned popcorn, no credibility.

Jeez, an 80-year-old working isn't against the law?

My complaints (weird social caste politics, mostly) about work are pretty trivial compared to these Wal-Mart people.

Today I am helping organise the world's most inane Guinness world record attempt, something I have no interest in and no belief in the value of, which is scheduled to take place on Saturday, 28 July, when you can guarantee that there will not be even the slightest bit of media interest due to a certain big sports event starting. The people who came up with this are idiots.

ffs ffs ffs ffs ffs ffs ffs ffs

LOL james that sounds like the time my old boss came up with this mad idea to send a camera up in a weather balloon to take pics of the earth from on high, til it came back down.. we were all "someones already done it?" and he didnt care, he was so excited and planning it and testing cameras in freezers ....

it never ended up happening. No one really cared, lol.

Someone did a series of find & replaces in a large Excel file I maintain and now nothing makes sense. Fuck you!!

It's been bugging me for a while that in Word documents that the associate attorney I work with (bitched about frequently above) writes, URLs and email addresses show up as plain text instead of links or even underlined and in blue. Even when I open them on my computer, they won't become links.

Before he came in this morning I went into his office and looked at his settings on Word and saw that he had turned off every auto-correct/replace and auto-format option. Even smart quotes.

The only method I can see for turning off all these options is clicking them one-by-one. If I didn't know him, I would think Word was messed up, but he definitely turned them all off on purpose.

I hate the setting that turns URLs to blue underlined links. I'd be okay with it if it just made it a link. Why does it have to be blue?

Bc links are a different color b/c it's a convention, just like underlining them. If they're not a different color they don't stand out as much and they look like underlined text. To me. And to other people, obviously, since it became a convention for a reason.

I don't like the automatic hyperlink feature either. I either turn them off or create custom templates where the hyperlink colour is not the default bright blue.

It would be different if I created Word documents for screen reading, but everything I write gets printed out and copied so clickable links are pointless and blue links look terrible on paper (they print light gray on a b&w printer). I'd be fine with blue clickable links if there was a separate style sheet for printing that turned the links black.

Hyperlink formatting is (or can be) kryptonite for people in print publishing.