Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

or wait:
"I find it hard to believe we're the first synagogue you've had this problem with."

"fuck you, pig"

"is this about me eating your father again?"

you guys are kidding right

one of you recognizes that cartoon??? right??? wheres al and matt h. at

hey max, here is story on popular website gawker:
http://gawker.com/5926846/new-yorker-invites-readers-to-caption-seinfeld-cartoon-that-poked-fun-at-the-new-yorker

"We don't validate porking."

no, i didn't catch the seinfeld reference ¯\(°_o)/¯

Seinfeld seasons 8 and 9 never happened.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bY-h3spBAgI

I have never seen this episode, and I don't care to.

No, better:
"We don't validate porking. Pork you, you porking pig."

"I don't watch Seinfeld. I only watch TV for the nature documentaries."

i feel good about not getting that reference.
i also think mine is pretty good.

"I'm a cahhwp!"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/09/03/p465/120903_contest_p465.jpg

"I asked if he's OK with male/male contact during this and he whispered, 'No.'"

"Apparently, he thinks it was too quiet.."

Or, "The Monkeys You Ordered" version:

"THIS MAN IS IN BED WITH US!"

"It seems to me, first of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, uhh, the female body has ways to try and shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something. You know, I think there should be some punishment, but I think the punishment ought to be of the rapist and not attacking the child."

"We're going to get to the bottom of this orgasm thing."

oh golly xp

"I know I'm not the best lover but I can't believe you hired a private dick!"

ha!

"I think someone's spying on us while we have sex."

"I've hired this PI to find out who wrote 'Walsh' on our bedroom carpet."

"He's just for cupping the balls!"

in a better world, "he's just for cupping the balls!" would easily win

"He followed me home. Can I keep him?"

"I know you like ska, honey, but this is ONE STEP BEYOND"

"I didn't tell him to wear a raincoat! I only told him your a squirter!"

you're. Damn phone.

i said we needed more fun in the boudoir not more men into... neo noir!

lolll

can you hand me that glass of water?

"Look at this fucking hipster"

"I know you said you wouldn't in any case, but just wanted to let you know, this guy's been eating crackers."

"He's on the case of the missing libido."

not bad

"This sillouhette with hands and half a face has nowhere else to sleep tonight."

"It's some kind of prequel to The Big Sleep."

"let's be reasonable, he did bring his own pillow."

"Lay it again, Sam."

were you followed?

"You might not mind Mallory, but I do, Alice."

or "Christ what an asshole"

"Does your husband always wear his trenchcoat to bed?"

"Ok, now get out the globe, and then remember to moan 'do it, Rockapella!'.

"He wants to know if we have any liquids, gels or pastes."

"he's here to investigate why my end table is twice as big as yours"

"This is normal."

"He says he's just a spy in the house of love."