At what age did you lose your virginity?

i gained my blessing at 27, proper adult virgin. was alright, nice but weird. unfortunately, i let it spin out into a difficult five-year relationship, which i probably wouldn't have charged into if i hadn't waited so long.

ten mins to lose yr virginity, the next five years arguing about the details?

haha, i had the same thought.

poll is in the wrong tense

xxp lol yeah

occurs to me that "lose your virginity" isn't necessarily so victorian prudish in contemporary use. to my mind, it suggests the deliberate abandonment of childish naivete and restriction. people say "i finally lost my virginity," like it was an awful burden to begin with.

tbh, kind of is. all those misconceptions of sex society foists on you, unburdened

as lonng as it's only misconception

time to make a quick withdrawal from this convo

seriously, avoid missusconception at all costs

I was 20 or 21(I know the year but I don't remember what part of the year it was), which felt terribly old at the time but doesn't sound as bad to me now. It was awful, fwiw. The girl kept biting my lip way too hard and being weirdly aggressive.

time to make a quick withdrawal from this convo

pullout method isn't reliable

still counts, dad

kind of hard to define virginity for a gay male. for me: 1st bj @ 14 which is young, but first anal at 23-ish, which is a lot later. can't remember whether i topped or bottomed first, but i'm pretty sure that many months passed between doing each for the first time.

butt-first anal

well sure, but when did you first destroy god's covenant of love between a man and a woman

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/olympic-archer-jennifer-nichols-28-im-a-virgin-saved-first-kiss-for-my-fiance-2012167

kisses are pretty special tho

I already answered upthread (17) but I guess it was a little strange in that it took a couple trys. Boyfriend at the time was living in DE and we'd planned to do it on one of my visits there. So we're making out in his basement and it gets to that time so he runs upstairs to get a condom but when he returned he couldn't get it up. Mortified he got tears in his eyes and tried to explain that he was nervous because it was my first time. The next night we thought ahead and brought the condom down to the basement. This time he lost it as soon as he went to put it on. I was devastated and convinced it was something with me. We tried a third time when he came to visit me a couple months later. It was sweet and fine and didn't hurt even a tiny bit. If anything I was sort of like, "Huh, that's what all the fuss is about?". I guess I thought it would be a BIG MOMENT while it was just another thing that happened. I remember joking afterwards and asking him if I looked different and he said "You look like a tall beautiful pixie". lol.

x-post - Indeed they are.

aww

Yeah, it was cute. He was a good egg. Still is. He's married with 2 kids and is a PI!

I was also a little "nervous" my first time. Way too much expectation is put on it. It's something that you get better at with practice.

Yeah. It wasn't his first time though but pressure certainly played a part in what happened. He was mostly nervous about being with me and because it was mine. He wanted it to be special, I think.

but not alone practice.

xpost

for me the Big Event was kind of a formality because we had been getting each other off by hand or mouth 1-3x a day for like half a year already. I was 15 & we were both going at it one Saturday, but in the house instead of the car because neither of my parents were home & I had the house for the day. I knew where there was a condom so in the middle of playing around it was like hell yes let's do this & so we did & it was cool if not for me as satisfying as The Other Stuff One Does

omg enbb that's really really sweet.

19, on a beach. not my best idea. sand everywhere for days. later she gave me a handjob as we drove back into the city. the lights! the lights were much better than the sand. i did not crash the car.

here's my story, i'm sure you're all huddling over your laptops now. lost virginity part one at 15 to two guys from new zealand i met on the internet when they visited nyc. i was a bored, weird kid with null parents, probably not my best judgment there. lost virginity part two at 18 to my first long-term girlfriend. nervous as hell, had trouble getting "it" up. the fun wasn't the sex, i was too nervous to feel much, but the whole moment felt special, especially since it was the first girl i had some Real Connection with, which was rare as fuck growing up in a town where shirtless rednecks ride in the dozens on the backs of pick-up trucks throwing empty budweiser cans at anyone who "looks funny".

ha yeah the technical aspect of fulfilling this requirement was actually pretty anti-climactic, so to speak.

in some ways remembering it is disappointing, because she was (and is) ridiculously beautiful and awesome and later gave me 'steppenwolf' for my birthday.

I drove to a different time zone with her to make an event out of it. Couldn't get the rubber on right and she finally said, oh just put it in. I did and it was like trying to insert myself into a keyhole.

I remember driving back to where we lived and thinking, sooooo I guess I'm not a virgin anymore. Didn't feel one ounce different.

About a week later, went back to her place and that time it was for real. She teased me for the longest time for going "ooooh, I get it now!"

I guess the first time could be good if you had no idea what sex was and someone talked you through the intro and you had no preconceptions or ideas. After you get the hang of it, pretty ok, eh?

My favorite joke from age 10-15 ended with the punchline "But look what it did to my clam digger!"

There was never moment in my life when I realized I wasn't a virgin anymore. After the first one at 14, I got another bj at 15, but it never occurred to me that I might not still be a virgin (esp. b/c I thought I was straight). Did some really awkward making out and manual stuff w/ girls at 18-ish, then some oral w/ guys at 18 or 19, which certainly didn't count, and gradually over the years, dick converged w/ butt, but by that time I it didn't occur to me that I might still be a virgin. It was a glacial deflowering.

When I think about the bjs at 14 and 15, I feel a little disappointed and very disgusted with homophobia. They were very exciting bjs, but I got them from 30-40-something guys while cruising (I was very precocious in this skill), and it makes me a little sad that I never got the chance to explore and discover (and invent!) sex with a boy I knew, maybe of a similar age. I had quite number of opportunities to date or fool around w/ girls in middle and high schools, and I feel sure I would have taken advantage of them if I had been straight (though maybe I was getting female attention b/c I wasn't lovesick or a horndog toward them). People learn a lot from dating and sexual-romantic pursuits during adolescence, and a lot of gay kids miss out on some really valuable lessons.

The barrier of homophobia aside, for me there was the ridiculous matter of attending a high school w/ a total student body of <100, 40 miles from home. Not only was it unfeasible to have a social life of any real substance, there was no fucking way I (or almost any gay kid) would risk being outed and ostracized in such a tiny social pool (esp. one w/ such a high redneck demographic).

Soz if that's a bummer.

Lighter stuff: There was actually one time when I really, really felt like a virginity was lost, and that was when at age 31 I first went down on a woman. I was thrilled!

Je55e you're amazing

I can't contribute to this thread, disclosure-wise

Except that me and my current bf "did it" for the first time on the night of the 2003 blackout and it was pretty much the best day/night ever, looking forward to an electricity-free future

When I first tried to go about it I was 19 and it didn't work the first couple times. There was a guy going to night school with me, a year younger, really good-looking with long red hair. I was really scared and intimidated by the idea that your first time had to be a big deal – I wanted to emulate Maya Angelou in her memoir where she grabs the first good-looking guy and says "let's go." I figured he'd be a good match because he was just enough of an asshole that I wouldn't fall in love with him. I was far too shy and too recently Mormon to be forward about it, though.

So I did all the things they told us in church not to do because they would invariably lead to sex. I drove out with him to some lookout points but we didn't touch. I went to his room alone, which in church they made it sound like a recipe for instant sex, but no dice. This went on for weeks. I felt he had to make the first move so he wouldn't think I was a slut – I was trying to seduce him but in a cold and awkward way with all these Rules Girl and progressive ideas duking it out in my head.

He got me high a couple times, my first for that too, and that was a big factor somehow. Maybe because it involved a lot of cajoling and he figured I could be persuaded into taboo things after that. The first time we tried he didn't have a condom which I KNOW is totally stupid. I was really nervous and tense and my vagina clamped up and he couldn't get it in. He apologized a lot even, I said nothing, he promised he'd get some "jimmy caps" for next time. It took a couple tries for me to relax enough for it to work. I remember when we finally figured it out, he said, "I love feeling up the girlies" during.

kinda like aero's, cept i had just turned 18. I had been going out with my first real girlfriend for about 6 months and we'd done everything else so we did 'that'. I was living with my uncle's family at the time, ground floor bedroom, and i remember him walking by the window (open but with blinds thankfully drawn) whistling loudly to himself as i came.

♪♫ pop goes the weasel ♪♫

At the end of 8th grade, so age 13. I had gone out with this girl for a few months earlier in the year and she was my first french kiss. I didn't like her very much and we broke up, but she called me up in the spring of next year, telling me that she could be "a very bad girl" to which I was like "well sure!"

We contrived to do it at this party her parents were hosting at their house, figuring they would be too distracted with the guests and everything and we could sneak off to her bedroom for some yowza yowza. For reasons I don't remember though, her best friend was at the party too. Maybe her parents wouldn't let her have me over by myself. To avoid raising suspicion by having her one friend moping around the party alone, all three of us retreated to the bedroom. Her friend sat on the other bed reading a book and trying not to be embarassed while we fumbled around and got down to it. To cover up any suspicious noises we put on side B of Skid Row's self-titled album*.

Things were going pretty well (we had made it all the way into "I Remember You")when her dad knocked at the door. We rushed to put our clothes back on (I think I had my shorts around my ankles - one of those sorts of things) and she explained that we were just talking and listening to music. I have a strong suspicion that his interruption gave me a bit of a complex about sex and possibly led to years of p.e. problems in my teens and twenties ("hurry up, let's get this over with before any old men show up!".

*B1 Youth Gone Wild 3:18
B2 Here I Am 3:10
B3 Makin' A Mess 3:38
B4 I Remember You 5:10
B5 Midnight / Tornado 4:17

First kiss was right here, btw:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAlWQSoJq2E

loool

*B1 Youth Gone Wild 3:18
B2 Here I Am 3:10
B3 Makin' A Mess 3:38
B4 I Remember You 5:10
B5 Midnight / Tornado 4:17

― how's life, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 11:59 (48 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

A+

definitely have a weird formative sexual experiences/The Voice Of David Berman short circuit in my head

I literally went from playing with Barbies to having really smooth, regular sex overnight. Didn't seem like a big deal then but I was 15 when I met my first boyfriend who was 21. He was a mechanic and worked with his dad at a family owned shop but also worked at Mr Gattis to earn money for college. He went to college for a year before screwing up his football scholarship and ended up back in town. He was always staring at me and giving me free root beers and pizzas when I'd go there with my friends. When I'd show up with my parents he would just stare. I started to develop a crush on him. Thought he looked like Robert Di Nero (he really didn't though). We got together through my schoolmate who was good friends with his younger brother who was also 15. Now I look back and wonder WTF!

My parents were super strict and I was not allowed to date or even go out much but I was able to meet up with him just about anywhere since he had a car and would pick me up at the mall, a friend's house, school.....never snuck out of the house , parents had no clue. This went on until I was 17 and I broke up with him because he knew nothing about foreign films and wouldn't watch anything in black and white. We were going to get back together when I was 18 and in college. He fixed up a nice 65 Mustang to give me when I got to Austin but he left it running while he made a call at a phone booth and it was stolen. This happened a month before I arrived, so we didn't get back together.

I really wish I had been allowed to date and had a cute lil 15 or 16 year old boyfriend and my first time been with another virgin. That same guy now has a 15 year old daughter and I asked him recently if he lets her date and he said no way.

I grew up in a small town full of 4-H pig-raising types, and I wasn't at all interested in ANY of the boys at my school--save for the french exchange student, whom I was obsessed with. We went to Prom together, but no canoodling took place. In the summer between junior and senior year, though, I met some dude on an AOL chat room who was 34 and a waiter and lived in Denver, and he was extremely influential in my development as a thinking adult person. I know that age difference is supremely creepy, but hey, I guess it happens. It's odd to look back fondly on such a creep. In the latter half of my senior year, I started talking with this guy on the phone and stuff and then he started getting all moony and mushy and professed his love for me. He drove down to my shitty rural town from Denver (an hour drive), shortly after my eighteenth birthday and we drank a bunch of tequila in a hotel room then banged 6 or 7 times. I remember the next day I felt really depressed, down, sore, used-up, as I looked through a bunch of used records. I bought the Spinanes "Arches and Aisles" and listened to it a lot later that day as I took a nap in the dusky late afternoon, and when I woke up I think I cried a couple of times.

That was really beautifully written but made my heart hurt a little.

It was a depressing experience! To have this person twice your age hinging all their hopes and expectations on you, while you're yearning to be treated like an adult and be respected and regarded as a human being (but you're really just still a kid).

I remember that night I had told my parents I was spending the night at a friend's house--but they ran into her at the video rental shop that same evening. The next morning I was dealing with a barrage of questions and a lot of worry and I had to be very inventive in my lying.

The guy in question wanted me to move in with him, and that entire summer I wrestled with a lot of uncertainty about what to do. I thought at one point I might go through with it--ultimately disappointing my parents to the nth degree about being both a hussy and avoiding college, but in early August right after college orientation I ended up dumping him and just going to school like a normal 18 year-old.

man

I couldn't even fathom starting a relationship with an 18-year-old when I was 22, let alone 34

We were going to get back together when I was 18 and in college. He fixed up a nice 65 Mustang to give me when I got to Austin but he left it running while he made a call at a phone booth and it was stolen. This happened a month before I arrived, so we didn't get back together.

Can only imagine this guy's anguish..... (even though the thought of trying to buy your affection by giving you a vintage muscle car would normally be a bit creepy. But at least it's a car he fixed up himself using his mechanic's skills).

Me, I was 14, which seems ridiculously young now, but was actually a year later than most of my friends. I was clueless about girls, and was much more looking forward to getting my driver's licence than losing my virginity - actually i don't think the word "virginity" was even in my vocabulary yet. My summer-camp roommate told me a girl there had a crush on me. That was the first time I'd ever heard the word "crush" used in that sense and didn't know what it meant, but could tell by the way he was saying it that it must be something good. I thought he was pulling my leg, but when I saw sat across from her in the cafeteria a few days later and she was all giggly and kept looking at me, I realized my roomie was telling the truth. So I did what any clueless 14 year old would do - I invited her up to my room, but she suggested another unoccupied bedroom where we could be alone. There, we immediately got busy ("foreplay" wasn't in my vocabulary either). I have only two strong recollections - (a) i had trouble getting her bra off, and (b) the whole experience was dissappointing and anticlimatic. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was more awkward than enjoyable. Had she not led the way, I'm sure my first time would have been years later. Instead, it was like "been there, done that, wasn't a big deal" and had no inclination to have another such experience for years afterward. My second time would be a full 4 years later (despite having a gf for about a year in the interim), and my third time a year after that.

I graduated HS a couple weeks after we finally successfully did it and, even though we were really careful, I remember sitting on the stage during the commencement ceremony in my snow white dress (all-girls Catholic school thing) and just praying over and over again that I wasn't pregnant. I had already realized I didn't believe in God but I was so damn scared that I would have prayed to anything/one that day. As it turns out there was one pregnant girl among us that day but thankfully it was not me.