The Witcher -- violence, sex, and alchemy as part of your daily balanced breakfast

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Being trying to play Witcher 2 but I just can't get into it. The story is ... convoluted. And sort of boring. Does it get any better?

Jeff, Saturday, 14 July 2012 10:57 (seven years ago) link

I gave up pretty early. The gameplay seemed way too complicated to translate to console, and the English version of the dialog was pretty bad.

polyphonic, Saturday, 14 July 2012 19:44 (seven years ago) link

three months pass...

under 20 bucks for the 360 version. I went for it but am still heavily ensconced in tokyo jungle, xcom and dark souls, so....

let's have sex and then throw pottery (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 21 October 2012 22:04 (six years ago) link

Tried 2 again today. Not worth it. There are just too many game mechanics with the mutagens, oils, potions, skill tree, magic spells. The controls are difficult. The story/cut scenes take forever and makes no sense. Selling it.

Jeff, Saturday, 3 November 2012 21:06 (six years ago) link

I got distracted from this. I enjoy the universe and vibe of the game, so maybe I'll come back to over Christmas.

the max in the high castle (kingfish), Saturday, 3 November 2012 21:21 (six years ago) link

20 bucks?? i thought this was on the regularly-less-than-a-fiver stratum of videogames

set the controls for the heart of the congos (thomp), Saturday, 3 November 2012 21:49 (six years ago) link

two months pass...

i bought this. and played through the prologue on hard and then restarted and played through it on easy because i figured the combat was never going to be interesting or fun enough to warrant the extra investment in time.

attempt to look intentionally nerdy, awkward or (thomp), Sunday, 20 January 2013 19:58 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

hey somebody give me a good critical review of this plzzz

feel like i'd love a good technical non-dumb rpg but if this sucks i don't want to be disappointed

goole, Friday, 22 February 2013 20:21 (six years ago) link

W1 or W2? Witcher 2 has been described by everybody as being far more playable

The New Jack Mormons! (kingfish), Saturday, 23 February 2013 10:45 (six years ago) link

i loved witcher 1, didn't like the 360 version of witcher 2 (for technical reasons) but people love the pc version and i could see why.

it is dumb and grim and dark and grim.

adam, Sunday, 24 February 2013 02:36 (six years ago) link

witcher 2 takes awhile to get going. it has maybe the worst prologue i have ever seen. a ton of dialogue and random game mechanics that have nothing to do with the game. spends a lot more time on boring backstory then showing you how to play.

its good enough that i am still playing but

- quests that you can either google or spend 6 hours trying to solve are bullshit
- the target lock system of fighting makes fighting vs groups stupidly difficult
- no fast travel gets really old really fast i.e. you end up running the same path probably 20 times per "chapter".

if you like dragon age games, you'll probably be on its level.

bnw, Wednesday, 27 February 2013 21:19 (six years ago) link

hmm thx for the responses everybody but i think i'll pass

i'm kind of burned out on engrossing but mechanically/narratively frustrating rpgs (read: rpgs) right now

goole, Wednesday, 27 February 2013 21:25 (six years ago) link

two months pass...

n e 1 played witcher 1 enhanced edition? i know i can't run 2 on my lolmacbook but apparently i meet the specs for 1. the one for mac is a wineskin which i didn't realize steam was in the habit of selling

am0n, Friday, 24 May 2013 20:45 (six years ago) link

ok

joe bogus (am0n), Friday, 31 May 2013 14:54 (six years ago) link

i loved witcher 1 for a while but never finished it. lots of hokey problems and i set the voice acting to russian so the performances wouldn't bother me as much, but if you're into classic late-90s rpgs (fallout, torment, etc) it's an acceptable substitute. i still love the corrupt decaying slavic fantasy world even if some of its Look! Racism! moments are heavyhanded, and i dig the idea of your being a professional monster-hunter in an age when the really dangerous monsters are less slavering-fangs-in-the-woods and more well-dressed-diplomats-at-parties. be sure to download the TITTIES PATCH (it does other things too, i guess): http://witcher.wikia.com/wiki/The_Witcher:_Enhanced_Edition_Director%27s_Cut

the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Friday, 31 May 2013 15:09 (six years ago) link

combat is diablo with one extra mechanic, so dumb fun until it isn't.

the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Friday, 31 May 2013 15:19 (six years ago) link

lol ( @ Y @ ) patch. did you play 2 at all

joe bogus (am0n), Friday, 31 May 2013 15:51 (six years ago) link

i did not.

looking upthread i found a post of mine that sums up why w1 was hard to resist for me:

"they wore long grey coats over their armor and thought they had fooled me," a girl said to me in her apartment, "but i learned to spot their kind in university." later we had sex, of course.

the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Friday, 31 May 2013 15:54 (six years ago) link

haha. i'm not sure whether that makes me want to play it more or less

Nhex, Friday, 31 May 2013 18:10 (six years ago) link

Tried playing 1 in Polish, but the language was so harsh I didn't enjoy it. Didn't try Russian.

Hockey Drunk (kingfish), Friday, 31 May 2013 18:22 (six years ago) link

i might go back and try the polish trick.

what got me was, i put it in hard so the combat wasn't trivial, but it was not-trivial in such a boring way i wished i'd put it on easy so i could basically skip it

the bitcoin comic (thomp), Saturday, 1 June 2013 22:12 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A2bDHd-nUM

am0n, Tuesday, 11 June 2013 19:32 (six years ago) link

uh wait thats not even the trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpcjUkG2FI4

am0n, Tuesday, 11 June 2013 19:36 (six years ago) link

$3.39 on steam

am0n, Saturday, 15 June 2013 20:15 (six years ago) link

so witcher 1 sux. o well.

am0n, Monday, 17 June 2013 17:14 (six years ago) link

fiddly tactical gritty fantasy rpg seems like it wd be right up my alley but i couldn't get thru the tutorial areas of this. looks really labored and unenjoyable.

goole, Monday, 17 June 2013 17:27 (six years ago) link

witcher 2 i mean

silly ass intro movie too.

goole, Monday, 17 June 2013 17:27 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0i88t0Kacs

am0n, Thursday, 15 August 2013 17:09 (six years ago) link

one year passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx8kQ4s5hCY

͡ᵒಠಠ ͜ʖ ͡ಠಠᵒ (am0n), Wednesday, 20 August 2014 01:18 (five years ago) link

eight months pass...

soon?

😂 (am0n), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 19:18 (four years ago) link

i think i'm going to skip this. Souls games have ruined me, i don't have the patience anymore for rpg conventions like "dialogue" (also endless quests/objectives, maps, etc).

lil urbane (Jordan), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 15:52 (four years ago) link

holy shit @ this game tbh

there is an absurd amount of dialogue and very little combat compared to most of these games but the red dead-style 5am wilderness trekking with random little vignettes to stumble on seems to be the real star of the show

I got it yesterday and got as far as Charles Dance, between staring at moving foliage and sunsets

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 16:02 (four years ago) link

true, the video i watched was surprisingly reminiscent of Red Dead. would love a next-gen sequel to that.

lil urbane (Jordan), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 16:06 (four years ago) link

speaking of Souls games, pretty sure the ol' Crestfallen Warrior turns up about 0:02 in to this

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 17:53 (four years ago) link

can u skip cutscenes in this

😂 (am0n), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 21:09 (four years ago) link

i've heard the controls suck like just walking around and picking up stuff is a pain in the ass

😂 (am0n), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 21:10 (four years ago) link

This thing is getting insanely good scores.

I tried to play Witcher 2 but couldn't get a handle on the controls.

polyphonic, Tuesday, 19 May 2015 22:22 (four years ago) link

This seems like a good deal btw

polyphonic, Wednesday, 20 May 2015 21:08 (four years ago) link

16 social media avatars you say?!?!?!?!?

i think i'm 10 hours in and still in the beginning area. a peasant walked by and said "welcome to our shithole." :D

😂 (am0n), Monday, 25 May 2015 18:07 (four years ago) link

this game is pretty much one of the greats, no time for the people inventing flimsy reasons to dislike it

c.70% of the people in the first act are from Birmingham

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Monday, 25 May 2015 18:29 (four years ago) link

the bandits def sound like it

😂 (am0n), Tuesday, 26 May 2015 01:12 (four years ago) link

i got to charles dance. this game is hueg

😂 (am0n), Tuesday, 26 May 2015 01:14 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/a9ecRJQ.gifv

😂 (am0n), Tuesday, 26 May 2015 16:08 (four years ago) link

This game is great. In addition to everything noted elsewhere, how is it possible that I'm 10 hours into an open-world(ish) game and have yet to encounter a single side-mission that sucks/is boring/feels like a make-work project. Also, that trading-card minigame is so good--am I wrong that winning doesn't seem to give you any real reward in the overall game? It's like your character has a (super nerdy) hobby. And that sounds TERRIBLE but the card game itself is so good it seems like genius that they don't force you or even encourage you to play.

(I have been giggling at that goose gif for like 10 mins.)

antexit, Thursday, 28 May 2015 14:39 (four years ago) link

the apparent confused pause as the goose overtakes him slays me)

Feel like the immersiveness of the world means they can get away with more missions that are set-piece clue-finding trails or rudimentary choose your own adventure things where you just talk to people or decide an outcome without dismembering anybody; in LA Noire that was pretty much the whole game but it's just a tool in the box here

Conversely, yesterday a small child lured me into an ambush by vengeful bandits, and I immediately hit one of them with one of those critical animations that grotesequely severs their head, shoulder and arm in one chunk, and I thought oh this is really pretty terrible behaviour

is anyone bothering to play this on one of the top two difficulties? After a particularly arduous escort mission I bumped it down to the highest difficulty where meditating will still restore your health, not fancying 70 more hours of having to fund, purchase and eat ten onions everytime I carelessly vault off a slightly too high balcony and lose half my health

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Thursday, 28 May 2015 18:30 (four years ago) link

do you have to saute the onions first or just eat them raw

lil urbane (Jordan), Thursday, 28 May 2015 18:58 (four years ago) link

No you can't sleep in a bed or cook raw food in this game although you can incinerate beehives with magic

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Thursday, 28 May 2015 20:18 (four years ago) link

i haven't quite figured out the card game. whats the penalty for losing, does the winner take your cards?? anyway it is cool that in this massive game is a pretty deep mini-game. also made me laugh when i was helping some guy one of the dialogue options was "game of gwent?". its like fuck your side-quest for the moment, play me!

had a guard call me "shiteater" and "you're paler than oaty shite"

😂 (am0n), Friday, 29 May 2015 15:48 (four years ago) link

i'm playing on blood & broken bones which is 2nd highest difficulty. hasn't been too bad so far, i think you still regen health in daytime or i just grabbed a perk that does that? i keep forgetting to buy food though which fucks me over occasionally

😂 (am0n), Friday, 29 May 2015 15:53 (four years ago) link

it took me 2+ years to finish this game and I found myself forgetting the entire plot when I'd pick it back up..

officer sonny bonds, lytton pd (mayor jingleberries), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 16:19 (one year ago) link

I was a little disappointed after last night's session, because although I'm on the trail of the Bloody Baron's daughter, I did not open any areas with new Gwent players.

Abercromb Metrion Finchos (Leee), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 22:10 (one year ago) link

you should just get the gwent standalone game! i haven't played it but have heard it's pretty good

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 22:14 (one year ago) link

xp to jingles good grief

Abercromb Metrion Finchos (Leee), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 22:14 (one year ago) link

Bloody Baron: I'll never know what bloom would've been the favorite of my miscarried daughter, and the fault lies with me.
Geralt: Wanna play Gwent?
BB: LAY 'EM DOWN, PODNER.

Abercromb Metrion Finchos (Leee), Thursday, 2 August 2018 16:46 (one year ago) link

Not sure I'm actually enjoying this now (level 14), might need to take a break.

Don't care for these characters much TBH.

Abercromb Metrion Finchos (Leee), Monday, 6 August 2018 06:24 (one year ago) link

I think that Geralt's general lack of affect may be why I'm connecting to him, but that doesn't explain why I'm not connecting with other, more colorful/expressive characters.

Abercromb Metrion Finchos (Leee), Monday, 6 August 2018 23:10 (one year ago) link

Is the story supposed to be good or merely good for an open-world RPG? I haven't been impressed, and I'm in Act II now.

Gwent Stefani (Leee), Monday, 20 August 2018 19:28 (one year ago) link

the overall story did not strike me as a strength at the time and i can barely remember anything about it now. i don't think that the main storyline/plot is ever done well in open world games, and the smaller stories you discover (or sometimes create) as you go about the world are where narrative elements can actually shine.

Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 20 August 2018 19:42 (one year ago) link

What prompted me was actually a secondary quest, the one where you help the Irish viking princess help free a local chieftain from a demon tormenting him by...

SPOILERS BEGIN

... throwing his newborn infant into an oven -- basically, the demon needs to find a new host who genuinely has intense feelings of guilt, but the outlines of the plan were already described by Geralt so why would he feel real remorse?

Gwent Stefani (Leee), Monday, 20 August 2018 19:55 (one year ago) link

yeah people mostly like it for all the weirdo side stories and world building. i never finished the main quest, same as all open world games

ciderpress, Monday, 20 August 2018 19:56 (one year ago) link

I finished it on accident

officer sonny bonds, lytton pd (mayor jingleberries), Thursday, 23 August 2018 22:03 (one year ago) link

i find the story more amusing than necessarily good but it still has some sense of character to it and a consistency within its own world. some of the skeillige scenes were hilarious, as an irish person. the acting and the diff accents from diff parts of ireland.

it's weird reading the diff reactions to it. i never played a single hand of gwent after the first 10-minute foray, and i was a magic the gathering nerd in my teens. just couldn't get into it.

prob be surprised if i ever enjoy a game as much as this tho i am already looking forward to their cyberpunk game.

FernandoHierro, Thursday, 23 August 2018 22:21 (one year ago) link

ten months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSqi-8kAMmM

in a world

Karl Malone, Sunday, 21 July 2019 18:49 (two months ago) link

where you have to change your sword to suit your enemy

Karl Malone, Sunday, 21 July 2019 18:49 (two months ago) link

one butt is

Karl Malone, Sunday, 21 July 2019 18:49 (two months ago) link

flexin

Karl Malone, Sunday, 21 July 2019 18:49 (two months ago) link

*slow motion shot of butt muscles gently breathing in and out*

Karl Malone, Sunday, 21 July 2019 18:50 (two months ago) link

I just started this today ! I mean III. I hate starting games though and this one seems massive but I will try.

L'assie (Euler), Sunday, 21 July 2019 19:53 (two months ago) link

One butt cheek is for human enemies, the other butt cheek is for monsters.

just another country (snoball), Sunday, 21 July 2019 20:27 (two months ago) link

that explains the unbalanced tingling when the witcher walks through the woods

Karl Malone, Sunday, 21 July 2019 20:32 (two months ago) link

henry cavill sucks and is bad, therefore this show will suck and be bad

^

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 21 July 2019 23:06 (two months ago) link

Also the game is bad.

Coelacanth Green (Leee), Sunday, 21 July 2019 23:27 (two months ago) link

Nah.

All three instalments are worth playing. 1-2 do certain things better than 3.

pomenitul, Monday, 22 July 2019 11:17 (two months ago) link

“One of the things that probably shifted the most once we cast Henry is that Geralt speaks a lot less than I initially intended. In the books, Geralt’s actually quite chatty. He talks a lot. What I found, though, is that on-screen—especially with Henry portraying him—a lot can be done in looks and in grunts. Henry’s a big grunter. I mean that in the best way possible,” she said.

https://io9.gizmodo.com/heres-why-the-witcher-auditioned-207-other-guys-for-ger-1836600508

Coelacanth Green (Leee), Monday, 22 July 2019 22:05 (two months ago) link

oh he’s a big grunter alright


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