At what age did you lose your virginity?

hush i'm trying for a sad bill murray vibe

I laughed, darragh

ty, ty

lolled here

18, it was horrible, a few nights before she'd shouted at me in the SU for not having sex with her. I also did drugs for the first time the day after. What a weekend.

This could easily be x-posted to the "phrases you hate" thread, but it's more on-topic here.....

I've long thought "losing your virginity" to be one of the most revulsion-inducing expressions in the English language. Really, shouldn't one of life's most evocative experiences - making love for your first time ever - be referred to as gaining a new and alluring experience of great poignancy rather than losing something; or worse, having something taken away from you? (as in "Aaron took Jane's virginity last night")? It's just such an awful, sex-negative remnant of Victorian-era attitudes i would've hoped we'd moved forward from long ago. I think it's high time we eradicated "losing one's virginity" from our collective vernacular and replace it with something that invokes discovery, not loss.

lol

Not intended to be funny; it's actually kinda sad. Orwellian even. Newspeak didn't have a word that meant "freedom" so the people couldn't dream up and discuss the concept since there was no word that described it. When the main terminology we have for experiencing sex for the first time is wrapped up in words like "lose" and "take" and "put out", we're robbed of the ability to describe how it really does feel, often enriching rather than feeling as if you're less complete than you were because you're missing something you previously had. When these things are baked into the language, accurate and eloquent thought suffers.

"making love" is a phrase that isn't necessarily sex positive?

It was less clinical than most non-obscene alternatives

lol

I agree w your broader point but yeah "making love" doesn't work in there for several reasons. "Fucking" would because I can do that w/somebody I love or not & it's still an awesome experience. Which is the better part of your broader point, that fucking is awesome and doing it for the first time isn't a loss of anything any more than me eating a sandwich for the first time is a loss. But then people do talk about "losing their (non-sexual experience) virginity" - this is just more xian hangover I think with a whopping side-order of Blake & Wordsworth

whipping, shurely

Losing one's virginity is better suited to describing "the first time I ate papaya salad" or "the first time I listened to Siouxsie"

At what age did you gain your non-virginity?

p sure there was a kid in india born without one, tho iirc they found a donor p quickly by targetting d&d forums

I think the word Leeeee is looking for is "jamming" or "rocking out"

well, now I'm turned off of sex forever

lol

― Tartar Mouantcheoux (Noodle Vague), Monday, July 16, 2012 9:33 AM (11 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah, I kind of cringe at "losing ones virginity". It's sounds careless whereas I was actively pursuing the state of non-virginity when I finally got lucky.

i'll bet this phrase is better in finnish

Hei me Tehdään non Vïrrgnitus!

i gained my blessing at 27, proper adult virgin. was alright, nice but weird. unfortunately, i let it spin out into a difficult five-year relationship, which i probably wouldn't have charged into if i hadn't waited so long.

ten mins to lose yr virginity, the next five years arguing about the details?

haha, i had the same thought.

poll is in the wrong tense

xxp lol yeah

occurs to me that "lose your virginity" isn't necessarily so victorian prudish in contemporary use. to my mind, it suggests the deliberate abandonment of childish naivete and restriction. people say "i finally lost my virginity," like it was an awful burden to begin with.

tbh, kind of is. all those misconceptions of sex society foists on you, unburdened

as lonng as it's only misconception

time to make a quick withdrawal from this convo

seriously, avoid missusconception at all costs

I was 20 or 21(I know the year but I don't remember what part of the year it was), which felt terribly old at the time but doesn't sound as bad to me now. It was awful, fwiw. The girl kept biting my lip way too hard and being weirdly aggressive.

time to make a quick withdrawal from this convo

pullout method isn't reliable

still counts, dad

kind of hard to define virginity for a gay male. for me: 1st bj @ 14 which is young, but first anal at 23-ish, which is a lot later. can't remember whether i topped or bottomed first, but i'm pretty sure that many months passed between doing each for the first time.

butt-first anal

well sure, but when did you first destroy god's covenant of love between a man and a woman

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/olympic-archer-jennifer-nichols-28-im-a-virgin-saved-first-kiss-for-my-fiance-2012167

kisses are pretty special tho

I already answered upthread (17) but I guess it was a little strange in that it took a couple trys. Boyfriend at the time was living in DE and we'd planned to do it on one of my visits there. So we're making out in his basement and it gets to that time so he runs upstairs to get a condom but when he returned he couldn't get it up. Mortified he got tears in his eyes and tried to explain that he was nervous because it was my first time. The next night we thought ahead and brought the condom down to the basement. This time he lost it as soon as he went to put it on. I was devastated and convinced it was something with me. We tried a third time when he came to visit me a couple months later. It was sweet and fine and didn't hurt even a tiny bit. If anything I was sort of like, "Huh, that's what all the fuss is about?". I guess I thought it would be a BIG MOMENT while it was just another thing that happened. I remember joking afterwards and asking him if I looked different and he said "You look like a tall beautiful pixie". lol.

x-post - Indeed they are.

aww

Yeah, it was cute. He was a good egg. Still is. He's married with 2 kids and is a PI!

I was also a little "nervous" my first time. Way too much expectation is put on it. It's something that you get better at with practice.

Yeah. It wasn't his first time though but pressure certainly played a part in what happened. He was mostly nervous about being with me and because it was mine. He wanted it to be special, I think.

but not alone practice.

xpost

for me the Big Event was kind of a formality because we had been getting each other off by hand or mouth 1-3x a day for like half a year already. I was 15 & we were both going at it one Saturday, but in the house instead of the car because neither of my parents were home & I had the house for the day. I knew where there was a condom so in the middle of playing around it was like hell yes let's do this & so we did & it was cool if not for me as satisfying as The Other Stuff One Does

omg enbb that's really really sweet.

19, on a beach. not my best idea. sand everywhere for days. later she gave me a handjob as we drove back into the city. the lights! the lights were much better than the sand. i did not crash the car.

here's my story, i'm sure you're all huddling over your laptops now. lost virginity part one at 15 to two guys from new zealand i met on the internet when they visited nyc. i was a bored, weird kid with null parents, probably not my best judgment there. lost virginity part two at 18 to my first long-term girlfriend. nervous as hell, had trouble getting "it" up. the fun wasn't the sex, i was too nervous to feel much, but the whole moment felt special, especially since it was the first girl i had some Real Connection with, which was rare as fuck growing up in a town where shirtless rednecks ride in the dozens on the backs of pick-up trucks throwing empty budweiser cans at anyone who "looks funny".

ha yeah the technical aspect of fulfilling this requirement was actually pretty anti-climactic, so to speak.

in some ways remembering it is disappointing, because she was (and is) ridiculously beautiful and awesome and later gave me 'steppenwolf' for my birthday.

I drove to a different time zone with her to make an event out of it. Couldn't get the rubber on right and she finally said, oh just put it in. I did and it was like trying to insert myself into a keyhole.

I remember driving back to where we lived and thinking, sooooo I guess I'm not a virgin anymore. Didn't feel one ounce different.

About a week later, went back to her place and that time it was for real. She teased me for the longest time for going "ooooh, I get it now!"