quiddities and agonies of the ruling class - a rolling new york times thread

I'm sure I would also find things to like about living other places, but jesus christ some of you can make it sound like us senior citizens can hardly drag our withered carcasses out for yet another round of druggy clubbing and without that sole source of entertainment, we may as well be locked in a windowless basement hovel.

There was a lady who pooped on sidewalks in New Brunswick and it wasn't even VIBRANT there.

tbf, i am writing from a windowless basement and waiting till it gets dark to go druggy clubbing

She also once pooped on the floor of Wachovia Bank, a gesture of which I wholeheartedly approved.

all over the world people are pooping in all different places amen

you haven't really pooped until you've pooped in new york

New Yorkers think their sidewalks are the only ones worth shitting on

in new york the sidewalks are paved with shit

Isn't it "Angelenos," not "Angelinos"?

when i shat on an LA sidewalk all my NY friends sneered

Cellpwn Pics
Cellpwn Pics
Cellpwn Pics
Cellpwn Pics

^^actual photograph taken in new york city

that article is okay but its not that compelling. i liked living in new york and now i have found that i like living somewhere else as well. who knew??? and the LA/NYC thing is played out. lots of people know how cool the west coast can be/is. making fun of LA is just kinda the thing to do if you live in NYC and the other way around. or if you live in the middle somewhere. then you make fun of both places.

why am I the only one who cares about the blase reaction to the old woman pooping on the sidewalk

― I see you, Pineapple Teef (DJP), Monday, July 9, 2012 10:10 AM (31 minutes ago)

. At the sight of the pooping woman, I heard a man to my left say to his horrified companion, "It's, like, New York, y'know?"

For a city of its population and density, NYC probably has relatively little public defecation

the horrified companion gets no words, but the enthralled New Yorker gets to reaffirm, hey, this is what it means to live here, you wanna roll with NYC you gotta expect to see an old woman pooping on the sidewalk

i dunno how i would react to seeing someone poop on the sidewalk tbh

plus new york hasn't been the end all and be all for a long time. its too expensive to even be poor there. people are excited about tons of places that aren't new york now. it USED to be the one place that the brainy arty loser kid dreamed of, but now there are lots of cool places to go. cheaper places. where you can get bigger apartments and still be an arty brainy loser.

not that new york isn't still the greatest place on earth. it is.

gotta say, I think I'm more in love with Taipei and Tokyo these days

although I can't drive to either of those in 3.5-4 hrs

Only two extremely obvious public experiences I've heard of were secondhand and abroad -- one of my old managers was visiting an office in India (near Hyderabad, maybe?) and looked out the window and some dude was pooping in the parking lot. My friend was visiting Manila and the dude in front of them in car traffic stopped, got out of his car and pissed next to the back, then climbed back in and kept driving. All during normal traffic.

I will only consider NYC a "real city" when these things become more commonplace.

when i was living in NYC i once saw a guy walking around with his dick hanging out of his pants and he was pissing while he was walking around. it was so shocking that i couldn't even process what i was seeing at first. this was after living in the city for about eight years and it will always remain scarred in my memory. if i had been walking w/ an out of town friend at the moment, tho, i don't know that i could have resisted a smarmy, "welcome to the big city."

i sort of figure anyone crazy enough to crap or show dong in public is also more likely crazy enough to carve my face up if i called him on it.

what do u say to a guy doing that? "hey man, do u know you're not at a urinal?"

Only public poop story I got is I was eating in Whole Foods in Union Square in the upstairs part. I was sitting across from a homeless looking lady. I thought to myself, "Ah! New York! Where everyone from all walks of life eat together!" When she got up to leave she left a clear plastic bag filled with her shit on the table.

ha wow

omg

I've never seen anybody pooping on the sidewalk but I did see a young woman peeing on the steps leading to the El in Chicago.

Je55e once found a Dunkin Donuts cup full of poop on the train, but the poop's progenitor was long gone.

i dont think i ever saw anyone pooping publicly in the ten years i lived in ny <<<real nyer time hurdle cleared, level up

what do you mean, dunkin donuts never close

xp

I've recounted this story on the public pissing thread, but I was on a bus in LA once and a guy who had been drinking from one of those 64 oz soda cups got off at my stop and immediately whips his dick out and starts peeing into the gutter, while saying "I am soooo sorry". He barely stepped to the side enough to let me pass.

Also saw a young woman who had been on a party bus squat and pee in front of the Hollywood Forever cemetary. She was more discreet than the above guy.

And a guy on the gold line train, passed out drunk, who stumbles to his feet, pisses in the well near the exit door, then slumps back down to his seat.

NYC used to have a lot more crazy pooping lady story fodder, like it was probably nbd in the 80s and only something you'd even bother to talk about to an out-of-towner. Now people who grew up watching 80s New York movies wind up actively searching that stuff out so they can blog about it, even though it's much more rare.

why not just pee into the 64 oz cup?

when i was living in NYC i once saw a guy walking around with his dick hanging out of his pants and he was pissing while he was walking around

this was gavin mcinnes trying techniques for his "how to piss in public" project

why not just pee into the 64 oz cup?

― J0rdan S., Monday, July 9, 2012 5:12 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well if bloomberg gets his way

ha

Somebody should write a field guide to New York with a checklist ala birding. Pooping bag ladies, guys walking around with their dicks out spraying piss from left to right to a groovy beat, rats eating other rats, etc. Urban adventurers can come with binoculars and retro neon pink early 90s visors with those plastic things on top to see if they can complete the list. Though it'd probably be "boring" in "boring New York", and I'm sure it's been done already.

why not just pee into the 64 oz cup?

I think by that point he didn't want to take the time to take off the top, dump the contents, and position himself. Unless you mean why not do that while still on the bus, in which case I'm pretty sure he would have run into a lot more hassle with the passengers, driver, etc.

Broken glass everywhere, people pissing on the stairs you know they just don't care

I have seen a homeless person poop in the subway, I had no idea this brought me cred points but I'm glad the experience is worth something

this was like month ago. the funny thing is the dude was like 30 seconds away from 'the nicest public bathroom in ny' (Bryant park) and he had a roll of tp w/ him that I'm pretty sure he stole from the bathroom.

well remember, in true carl sandburg style chicago does these things on industrial scale

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-0408100046aug10,0,5256338.story

yeah we're out here dropping gallons of diarrhea in downtown rivers

I don't care what kind of evidence there is, I still refuse to believe that it was not the Dave Matthews bus that was responsible.

I've seen dudes urinating in the middle of sidewalks in broad daylight in both Chicago and Manhattan.

I saw a woman leaning up against a car in Denver going #2. She saw us look her way and yelled, "SOOOOOORRRRYYYY!"

that one doesn't count on account of shitting outside being encouraged in denver

and it's a hard, and it's a hard, and it's a hard, and it's a HARD
HARD RAINS A GONNA FALL

in 2000 on the walk home from work, I came upon a photo shoot blocking most of a west village side street with a topless transsexual in full regalia posing on a pile of tires for like five cameramen.