your terrible ideas

believe me we've been hearing about that article all week.

Dude tell your friend next time he has a terrible idea he needs to act fast.

It's also one of those things that almost makes me want to quote baudrillard. Like back in college I probably would have written a pretentious essay about it for the campus weekly.

oversized black tee with a stop sign graphic and giant white block letters: "STOP SCHVITZIN'"

street fiction for yuppies: crude self-published novels sold off of sidewalk tables, with titles like "Brownstone Betrayal" and "Hot Yoga"

would buy

a post-punk supergroup called Your Granny on Bongos, made up of all surviving former members of The Fall

'Dub! Step! Beyond!' - an album of Madness covers done dubstep style.

a bar with a mcdonald's-style play area for kids of patrons

they exist. they are truly terrible.

http://www.pub-restaurant.co.uk/wacky_warehouse.tpl

i have honestly never seen a more soulless place for drinking

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3139/2943676381_917d343f8d.jpg

"PJ Stinky's Drinkatorium and Fun Time Wullaballoo"

It looks like a Wells Fargo

a supergroup crew of veteran rappers (like late 80s cutoff) called "Old Money"

A sequel to Lord of the Flies in which the boys, now adults, reunite in Norway

Lord of the Flies 2: Fjord of Lies

An idea for a 16-Bit platform game called 'Monsieur LeBouffe" in which the title character has to escape from a large eatery or opera house set in early 20th century America. Control Mr LeBouffe as he avoids angry chefs, snooty waiters and handbag waving opera dames in order to eat the most patisserie cakes. There's a level set on a ferry boat and a level set in a barbershop where you have to jump over flying scissors.

Daft Punk Indian Cookbook called 'Cumin After All'

A+

omg

featuring the hit recipe "Hotter Pepper Fatter Sambar"

kudos

a t-shirt with a pocket right in the middle. centered on the sternum.

back when cargo pants were ubiquitous (and universally awful) I had the idea to make a variation with the pockets upside down.

just to emphasize the stupidity of the fashion, I guess

cargo pants are great for when you reaaaaally need to carry a bunch of jewels and you're in a hurry

belt suspenders combo

Reading Desperate Characters now. Certainly some striking similarities to the LJ Davis, but I find it much richer and more beautifully written. I almost wanted to start a separate thread on "gentrification novels." I actually had this kind of deadpan ironic idea to make a book set called "The Brownstone Novels" and it could feature A Meaningful Life, Fortress of Solitude, Desperate Characters, idk something by Amy Sohn, and whatever else, and the spines would have the facades of brownstones on them, so they fit together like a little Brooklyn block. And of course every book would have an introduction by Jonathan Lethem, and there would also be an essay for the whole set by Jonathan Lethem, because Jonathan Lethem has some kind of lifetime contract that gives him right of first refusal on the introduction for any book about brooklyn or brownstones.

― bert yansh (Hurting 2), Tuesday, August 14, 2012 9:50 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Creating a youtube character who creates "response" videos to stupid conservative, racist, sexist, etc. youtube rants that just consist of me repeating back the entire rant verbatim in a mock-stupid voice (you know, the voice that little kids use to make fun of each other that I want to call, for lack of a more appropriate term, the "retard" voice).

^kind of love this epic trolling idea

yeah, I actually kind of like it too. it's more a terrible idea for me to actually do it

if you have a kid have the kid do it

except uh not the racist or sexist ones I guess

Turin Shroud tea towels, bedsheets, etc.

I'll fix my camera when I 'm already feeling drained by the flu. So it's sitting there taken apart and probably corrupting. Shit, loved having that thing.

A collaboration between the Art of Noise and Terry Wogan called 'Close to the Edjit'.

(and such a collaboration would be dumb, dumb, d-dumb-dumb dumb-dumb dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, la-la-la!)

A kids' softball movie about a roguish coach who rounds up nine scrappy kids and leads them to T-ball success. At the end it's revealed that he knocked up all their moms within months of each other and he's actually the father of all nine players. The movie is called Absent Tee.

haha, I like it

Does he knock up all the moms before the season, and that's why he puts this particular crew of kids on the same team? Or is that they're all on the same team, and THEN he knocks up all of their mothers? It's important because if it's the former he's a Don Juan with a heart of gold, but of it's the latter he'll just knock up any mom who is nearby.

There could be a kid who rides the bench, and he's the only one whose mom didn't get knocked up. But at the end the coach knocks her up to, the kid gets substituted into the game and makes a diving catch to save the day!

I think you're missing an important element of the original synopsis.

lol

I think the film would also almost inevitably follow a plot arc whereby the team makes it to the t-ball world series, but then right before they're supposed to play in the championship, the moms find out and pull their kids, and the guy goes back to his little trailer home all dejected, but then there's a kind of climactic moment where one kid shows up at the trailer with his mom, and then a second, and then a third, etc.

Oh man, I am such a doofus tonight. Ok, so he fathered them all back in his vibrant youth. I still think he should knock up the benchrider's mom though

a grill-brush shaped like skrillex called the Grill-X

I'm going to teach my daughter to say "allahu akbar!" right before passover next year, and then when she says it at seder, my wife and I are going to look stunned and say "I have no idea where she learned that!"

Maybe it's a combination of re-reading a Houellebecq book and then watching "Inside Job", but the idea of legalizing and publicly funding monthly prostitute visits for men over 40 seemed late last night as if it'd solve a great number of American economic problems

"Seemed" kemosabe?

Well, considering that uh "progressive" nations are in varying stages of criminalizing/decriminalizing prostitution, i.e. in both directions, and in the EU there are all sorts of other specific economic factors, coupled with the Brave New Worldiness of the notion. But I was like "why do all these rich dudes need all this money" and after the most logical conclusion was reached "why not just get their pussy/ass on government dollar, out in the open instead of doing it so shadily".

I had the idea specifically when I was getting a massage and a guy was talking about how he was allowed one RMT visit a month under his current insurance plan