Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Been messaging/emailing guy I am going on a date with this Friday. Trying really hard to quell my nerves/anxiety/trying-too-hard usual enthusiasm that squashes everything. He seems lovely and I really want to just have an easy nice encounter for a change instead of Rampant Issues Man #34534534

uh huh accident

lol

your sister is hilarious btw

lol mh ;P

my sister is... unique

i got my brother to go on okcupid a few months ago but i'd already forgotten that i was even on okcupid still (i finally disconnected in May bc it is unfair to stay on something like this when not paying any attention to it imo), and then he dropped off it within like 2 weeks bc he is better at real life anyway (tho it was prob the push he needed to get going irl), so i guess we will never have an awkward sibling encounter on okcupid! or know if we are compatible be friends :/ lol

I'm kind of glad I stuck around cos of the guy Im talking to now, but I had been feeling a little guilty that all the other people messaging me I was just ignoring - none of them were even remotely my type.

there is something to be said for patience, sometimes

I'm trying to steel myself for another let down, in all honesty :(

the past is a foreign country

Good point! Mustnt let other experiences taint new ones :) Onward with gusto! TBH I'm a little bit of excited. He's a lovely fey blonde morrisey and glam rock fan and he's terribly cute.

it might seem harder to go into things with an open heart because it feels vulnerable and can result in pain or not in pain, but ultimately going in with a closed heart can result in the same pain or not pain. i think we hurt ourselves unnecessarily more by closing our hearts even a little in steeling ourselves for let down. it can be hard not to, i know, especially when experience piles atop itself... so it's like, here i am, with my big bad heart, and that feels good to me, love me for who i am or not.

xp go forth!

aw

When you close your heart to love, you eliminate the risk of a broken heart. You also assure yourself of a dull, lonely, pointless life. Despite the risk, I'll take openheartedness.

yay trayce! who cares what the future holds, give into the excitement now.

might seem harder to go into things with an open heart because it feels vulnerable and can result in pain or not in pain, but ultimately going in with a closed heart can result in the same pain or not pain. i think we hurt ourselves unnecessarily more by closing our hearts even a little in steeling ourselves for let down. it can be hard not to, i know, especially when experience piles atop itself... so it's like, here i am, with my big bad heart, and that feels good to me, love me for who i am or not.

― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Monday, July 2, 2012 9:41 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ilu

<3 <3 <3 <3

I might get back on this thing. Updates/hilarity/heartbraek TK!

<3
xp
<3

i guess i should give an update on my dating - it's going really well! i continue to be pleasantly surprised by everything about this person and it seems like the feeling is mutual. oh and he has a really adorable grumpy dog who has also totally won me over (it was not hard).

holy fuck that date was so good

I hope to say the same at the end of the week. And good for you tpp!

thanks trayce! hope you enjoy.

i was recently 'visited' by a 6-foot-3 dutch woman who won't date men shorter than she is.

i guess i should feel bad since i got no message despite meeting that requirement, but lol

i used to know a couple who were both over 6'5"

they were an imposing presence

I suppose it would be p difficult finding guys if you're a 6ft plus woman, but personally Ive never really understood some women's revulsion with short men. I suppose its easier for me, though, I'm already only 5 ft 4 myself. My last bf was the same height as me and I thought it was adorable (he hates being short)

xpost when they go home at night, i bet they just slam dunk over and over again, without saying anything. dunk dunk dunk

That makes me think of a bizarre version of the "american gothic" painting, for some reason.

"our lives are nothing.... but net"

i set up my 6'1" friend (a female) with a 6'3" friend (male). it is the male who is more picky about height though! he says he will not date a woman under 5'11".

i totally don't care about height or being taller or shorter or whatever, it's not really a factor in my attraction to a person.

I don't think I've ever dated a dude who was taller than I am and I'm only 5'7". Not that I would mind.

had an okcupid date last weekend - she was literally half my age (22/44) but she actually, strangely, knows me via mutual friends, realized she'd met me at someone's party before, and still wanted to meet up with me. we had a nice time but i think we both felt like the age gap was too much... so she's setting me up with her 25 year old co-worker for a date this saturday :)

lol @ 22 being too young but 25 being ok

People can change a lot in those years! Sometimes not, but maybe the 22 year old thinks of the 25 year old as her less-bargoing more laid-back friend (old).

"we're all the same height when we're lying down"

in Procrustes' bed

The more I date and listen to people and then watch it go all wrong, the more suspicious protestations JUMP out at me from people's profiles.

"You should message me if...you can take a joke" = I'm an asshole and will be disrespectful and then claim to have been joking.
"...if your judgment of a person does not come from fucked up assumptions" = If you accuse me of being an asshole, I will tell you all the reasons why you're wrong and it's your fault for basing your opinion on my behavior.

If you use any opportunity to use the open-ended questions to constrict the number of people interested in you by THEIR characteristics you're doing it wrong. It should be positive stuff relating to concrete attributes.

Now if it's like "you should like kids/dogs/cats/white water rafting" it's cool because that is important stuff that people might require from a prospective mate?

The more I date and listen to people and then watch it go all wrong, the more suspicious protestations JUMP out at me from people's profiles.

"You should message me if...you can take a joke" = I'm an asshole and will be disrespectful and then claim to have been joking.
"...if your judgment of a person does not come from fucked up assumptions" = If you accuse me of being an asshole, I will tell you all the reasons why you're wrong and it's your fault for basing your opinion on my behavior.

OTM!

I am being such a dick on online dating right now. Too many things are red flags to me. Like people liking Dan Brown novels or ANY mention of "Living life to the fullest"

Pass on anyone mention Ayn Rand
Pass on anyone with a photo of them on a mountaintop
Pass on any Geminis, Aquariuses or Leos
Pass on anyone who lists sex as the six things they couldn't live without
Pass on anyone who says "Then it wouldn't be private now, would it?" on the "What's the most private thing you're willing to admit here?"
Pass on anyone who rails on about how they like to be fit and healthy
Pass on anyone who mentions dubstep
Pass on anyone under 30

"everything but country and rap"

rand goes w/o saying but why no mountains?

I'm just back from a date, though it was a queer one (in the antediluvian sense). She was a personage of spectral aspect, a resident of the twin towns of Hadoth and Neb, where madness is whispered to be rife, and incest universal. I could tell she had issues with my choice of restaurant, and certainly it was a dank and foetid establishment, a former priory situated in squamous scrub halfway along the Cthulu turnpike, closed after a series of unfortunate events of which I shall not speak here.

We were the only customers, and found ourselves tended with much suspicion by an eldritch server and his hideously misshapen cat, which gibbered pitifully by the fire, providing the only music in that place. A mournful wind keened around the panes and malign rain hissed on the gambrel as we perused the near-incomprehensible menu, a charnel slab of horse entrails and rotting fungous. She chose the liver, with a side of agar, strepwort, and nightshade. Her conversation was abnormal and seemed to be in some long-banished tongue, and I strained to nod in the right places. My attention, however, inclined increasingly to the disturbing sound emanating from the forest beyond - something blasphemous, like the wailing of a cadaverous choir revived from its eternal sleep. The din rose to a clatter, a howl, a squall. It seems we were surrounded.

Swarthy tentacles slapped against the window, and I saw the hideous eye of some fishy visage glimmering - daemoniac, vile and subhuman in the gibbous moonlight - through the glass, afire with an ambitious loathing. The waiter was wrestling with a cardiac arrest which, by all appearances, was proving fatal to him, while my companion fainted away and the cacophonous cat fled in a panic up the chimney flue, where cruel fingers of flame consumed its fur with a vile stench. The thoughts that swarmed upon me in that moment were uncountable, unnameable and unutterable, but principal amongst them was the conviction that, as first dates go, this one augured only a wretched infinity of pestilence.

sure, but did she live life to the fullest

yeah, can't you meet them halfway? down the mountain?

xpost

Pass on anyone mention Ayn Rand - duh
Pass on anyone with a photo of them on a mountaintop - I view with deep suspicion
Pass on any Geminis, Aquariuses or Leos - ;_;
Pass on anyone who lists sex as the six things they couldn't live without - cosign
Pass on anyone who rails on about how they like to be fit and healthy - JESUS THESE PEOPLE this is why I say right out that I love to smoke.
Pass on anyone who mentions dubstep - hahaha does this happen? People admit this?
Pass on anyone under 30 35

Pass on member of law enforcement or if photo of self in armed forces
Pass on anyone who wears item of clothing with college athletics logo
Pass if in any photos, subject is wearing Tevas (or equivalent)

Pass if any mention of any Mike Patton project under musical preferences

You think you're an asshole? I'm an asshole.