Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"I'm bored."

"When I hit puberty I'm going to turn into a swan."

I have a death wish

"well, in my opinion that kind of negative attitude is exactly what helps perpetuate outdated and oppressive species roles"

"Fuck you, I'm flying!"

"ugh, whenever i fly i get stuck with the middle seat"

"Boy, they really changed the evolution tree in Pokemon Turquoise!"

"And so I say to my therapist -- Come out of my shell? I'll show you coming out of my shell!"

"Just dropping byyyyyyyy."

"Tell my wife I love her."

"The fish couldn't make it. When do we start tessellating?"

"Why a duck? Why not a turtle?"

"Seriously? Turtle's can't fly? Why didn't someone tell me soooneeeeeeeee....."

erm "Turtles" that is. No apostrophe.

"Want to scramble some eggs?"

"Actually, I'm not a duck. I'm working on an article for the New Yorker."

replace New Yorker with Rolling Stone and it might be a winner!

Yeah, so it doesn't have the meta angle. I was also thinking the wording could be tweaked, like maybe throw in an italicized "really" before "a duck"

"Half, on my mother's side."

"Actually, I'm not really a duck, I'm Barbara Ehrenreich"

"Hey turtle, tell Aeschylus hi for me."

forks' is real good too. you should submit it.

ah, god, i'm pissed, but abanana's REALLY made me laugh.

"whoooooaaaaaaaa! Whoaaaaaaaa!

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/07/23/p465/120723_contest_p465.jpg

Pig: "I've got a beef..."

"I can't find the Up escalator!"

"My tail used to be a squiggly as the cartoonist's signature, but I had it shortened."

"Well I'm sorry you feel that Mr. Wolf is an unsuitable building standards inspector, but we're quite satisfied with his performance in the role"

Pig: "I'm fed up with this 'mmmm bacon' meme."
Clerk: "Well I'm tired of this 'everything is better with zombies' thing.'

clerk ”Well if you don't like it why don't you go live in a MOSLEM country?”

On top of the filth and stench in there, the joker with the prod is, like, "No, Mr Pig, I expect you to die."

"God help me, the Mu Shu Pork is made of Piglet!"

"I wish I was taller"

"Do you have a pen I can borrow?"

"Where are my pants?"

"Look, you knew our policy didn't cover straw OR sticks when you signed it."

it's weird that both of them have open mouths. i guess it's the clerk speaking, and the pig astonished

"I hate your mustache."

"go wee wee wee all the way home if you don't like it"

"Look, I don't make the rules."
^inscrutable NYorker stylee

or wait:
"I find it hard to believe we're the first synagogue you've had this problem with."

"fuck you, pig"

"is this about me eating your father again?"

you guys are kidding right

one of you recognizes that cartoon??? right??? wheres al and matt h. at

hey max, here is story on popular website gawker:
http://gawker.com/5926846/new-yorker-invites-readers-to-caption-seinfeld-cartoon-that-poked-fun-at-the-new-yorker

"We don't validate porking."

no, i didn't catch the seinfeld reference ¯\(°_o)/¯

Seinfeld seasons 8 and 9 never happened.