Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"I'm actually very far away from you, but I'm disproportionately huge. This guy isn't all that good at perspective."

"you might know my dad, Gamera."

"Someone told me this was a fancy dress migration."

"What are ya'll doing in my psychedelic ocean?"

you guys have never won this, right

"You said we had to be anseriformes on this flight? I thought we just had to fill out answer forms."

"I don't really care about flying south, I just wanted to shit on something."

"This is always the worst part of a timeshare swap."

"After I beat that hare I thought 'the sky's the limit!'"

"Best. Upgrade. EVER!"

"hypnosis"

"is this a dream? what is that bright light? am i ... dying? oh ... god ... i am finally ... at peace..."

hahaha

"Who you calling a dinosaur?"

"I'm on a jobswap with Superman!"

"If you must know, I got 'Freaky Friday'-ed."

"It's not my negative space, or your negative space. it's our negative space."

"CAW! CAW!"

i think you mean "QUACK! QUACK!"

"got any lettuce?"

"well the kids are all gone now and marcy- that's my wife, marcy- marcy said "you've always wanted to do it, you should go for it!" and i just thought, well, why not?"

"Just go ahead and say it. Say it to my face, Hinkwell!"

Yeah i figured there was a mix up, you needed a nap not a snap....ping turtle!

"um, help?"

winner

if you pass an old guy with balloons attached to his house, ask him if anyone is missing, and then tell him to go fuck himself

No, I make the best soup

lol roberto

"I'm bored."

"When I hit puberty I'm going to turn into a swan."

I have a death wish

"well, in my opinion that kind of negative attitude is exactly what helps perpetuate outdated and oppressive species roles"

"Fuck you, I'm flying!"

"ugh, whenever i fly i get stuck with the middle seat"

"Boy, they really changed the evolution tree in Pokemon Turquoise!"

"And so I say to my therapist -- Come out of my shell? I'll show you coming out of my shell!"

"Just dropping byyyyyyyy."

"Tell my wife I love her."

"The fish couldn't make it. When do we start tessellating?"

"Why a duck? Why not a turtle?"

"Seriously? Turtle's can't fly? Why didn't someone tell me soooneeeeeeeee....."

erm "Turtles" that is. No apostrophe.

"Want to scramble some eggs?"

"Actually, I'm not a duck. I'm working on an article for the New Yorker."

replace New Yorker with Rolling Stone and it might be a winner!

Yeah, so it doesn't have the meta angle. I was also thinking the wording could be tweaked, like maybe throw in an italicized "really" before "a duck"

"Half, on my mother's side."

"Actually, I'm not really a duck, I'm Barbara Ehrenreich"

"Hey turtle, tell Aeschylus hi for me."

forks' is real good too. you should submit it.

ah, god, i'm pissed, but abanana's REALLY made me laugh.