Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

I get a lot of frequent flier miles

They overbooked Wonder Woman's invisible plane.

"MY passport says Bruce Wayne."

Ebert's entry: "This way I don't get as many bugs in my teeth."

"Don't freak out, but both engines failed. I'm holding this plane up with my buttcheeks."

"would you like to hear another of my superhero-themed bondage fantasies? Stewardess! 2 more vodka sodas for me and Amory Lovins, please!"

"I plan on getting drunk. You'll love Absolut All-Star Superman."

lolz

"i can see through your clothes. right through them. does that turn you on?"

"It could be weirder. Like, just to pick an example at random, I might be wearing luggage."

"Lol, this legroom sure isn't 'super'!"

"I just travel this way for the patdowns."

"Nope, just a regular guy. What is this 'air marshal' program of which you speak?"

"Yes, I started having to travel this way after I became a quadriplegic. Thanks for reminding me, asshole."

"There's a man out there."

"Well, the other way, I miss out on all the great deals from Skymall!"

All of nuts' are killing it.

"You're not my type."

"This 'Superfriends Fly Free' promotion worked out pretty well, I'd have to say."

"It's worth it for the WiFi."

joedator? doesn't new yorker have a policy against using call of duty screen names as your signature?

"George Reeves lives in my mouth."

"these luggage compartments are bigger than i'm used to."

"And that's how I learned that teal kryptonite takes away my first class platinum pass. Weird, right?"

"Have you ever tried to change in an airplane bathroom?"

"Oh, yeah right, it's impossible to reverse time by flying against the rotation of the Earth. It's totally impossible. Listen, pal, I was there, OK?"

"The 70s cartoon had it wrong. It's Miks-yez-pit-lik, not Mix-ill-plick."

"You're probably thinking of my cousin."

lol

"Last time I fell asleep and crashed into the World Trade Center"

"You're probably thinking of my cousin."

copper-bottomed winner

"Last time I fell asleep and crashed into the World Trade Center"

By rights, this should be a contender. But, will this even make it into the 'other captions' section?

"There's a man out there."

^ audible cackles at this one

And in an ironic twist it's William Shatner.

i never actually enter this thing.

"Don't freak out, but both engines failed. I'm holding this plane up with my buttcheeks."

― goole, Monday, 18 June 2012 11:15 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this could so win!

What do you mean Comic Con isn't till next month?

is there perhaps a more New Yorker word for "buttcheeks"? If so I think it should be submitted.

Also I'd change "freak out" to "panic"

I'm no help because I want to change the stinger to "I'm holding this plane up with pure anal suction."

<3

lmao

"glutes"

His gluteus gripped the cloth seat covering, effervescently holding the tumescent aircraft aloft.

Effervescently?!

his inner goddess was holding in a fart

oh jeez

Not only does the sun shine out of my ass but there are bubbles, too.

"So, I just met you, and this is crazy..."

IT MUST AND WILL REMAIN "BUTTCHEEKS"