Come get revolted at anything and everything to do with ROCK OF AGES

Eh, Tom Cruise is not the star, and the last film he lead was a global smash, so ...

Plus the only one person who is getting good notices from this unholy mess is Tom Cruise.

Aimless surrenders to the passion:

http://s.wsj.net/public/resources/images/OB-TJ870_tomcru_E_20120615152942.jpg

he has been in ensemble flops before, or have you forgotten the Redford film where TC played a conservative senator?

or Knight and Day?
(tbh I had forgotten that existed)

tracy jaxxx is a very hummable song!

Knight and Day was way better than I thought it was going to be

Is the title an Animal House reference?

he has been in ensemble flops before, or have you forgotten the Redford film where TC played a conservative senator?

Yeah, this was around Cruise's personal/commercial nadir: the couch jumping, the Scientology infomercial leaks, divorce/Holmes, then "Lions for Lambs," "Valkyrie," and "Knight and Day" (with "Tropic Thunder" in there, with tons of make-up and good reviews). But the dude never stays down for long.

It's like he picks his flops well. They're always forgettable, or he's a support player.

He could be in a movie with Chevy Chase and still have a career, to paraphrase Chris Rock.

http://www.thewrap.com/movies/column-post/rock-ages-heres-whats-wrong-picture-44121

"These songs suck" aside, almost all of those bullet points fall into the Ebert "it's wrong, but it doesn't matter" territory.

I have a feeling this movie sucks for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with lack of historical accuracy.

'hugely dislikable' says the usually cheery and fun-loving Philip French in The Observer.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/jun/17/rock-ages-review?newsfeed=true

10. Oh, and the songs are no good.
While I will concede that some of the songs have aged better than I expected, the fact remains that I count five good songs among the 32 in the film.

For the record, and I'm feeling generous when I make this list, the five are "Paradise City," "I Love Rock 'n' Roll," "Pour Some Sugar on Me," "Rock You Like a Hurricane" and "I Want to Know What Love Is," which is pretty much ruined by being used as the basis for a jokey sex scene.

Blimey, if that's the five good songs, what are the shite ones? (dnanswerthat)

xpost the review is very short, one of the comments is actually a better review!

The posters for this are all over town, huge and relentless. Everytime I see them I think of the question posed here:
TS: Most Retarded-Looking Barenaked Ladies Member on This Album Cover

my problem is the opposite -- I like...nay unabashedly LOVE all the cheesy-ass songs in this stupid movie just the way they are. Shining them up and adding more cheese just bums me out. It's the same reason I could never watch Glee.

This is actually a lot of fun! You need not to be sober, and you also need to bring booze into the cinema to be honest. But it's funny, it's fun, there's a lot of likeable actors having a good time (NB neither of the "leads", but there's not all that much of them in it) and Tom Cruise is amazing - though I'm curious what Axl's lawyers thought of it. It helps a lot that it's not really concerned with the transformative power of rock as much as hey these songs are fun to hear when drunk.

Despite this convincing argument, do not think I will be seeing this anytime soon.

Also from the Wrap above:

The creators of "Rock of Ages" talk a lot about authenticity and attention to detail in the press notes for the Tom Cruise rock musical, which re-creates the world of the Sunset Strip circa 1987.

The creators, then, are epically trolling - there is nothing this film is less interested in than authenticity.

okay my mission to watch all of the golden globe/oscar nommed films before the ceremonys happen is currently at risk of failing. 39 mins through this tsunami of liquid shit and i've just run out of booze :-(

my hat is off to you

I have no idea if I will ever sit through this without some kind of anesthetic

so julianne hough is the one with the recording career here right? so why does her voice sound so much more autotuned than Tom Cruise's? anyone? why am i just asking this question, of the millions i could be asking right now? people buy tickets to see this thing live? why does humanity still exist?

recording career? she had a dancing career as a pretty badass ballroom dancer, but I dunno about recording. i thought this was her first singing gig

oh wait she has 1 album and a holiday album from 2008
I had no idea

shrug

yeah this was pretty awful. tom cruise was about the best thing in it.

it just wasn't 'fun' at all - it was boring as fuck, and the two young leads were just so lacking in charisma or chemistry with each other, and had the most generic singing voices of all time. at least cruise sounded like cruise?

This movie marginally > Les Mis.

no way

I don't believe you

I didn't say it wasn't terrible.

hough is just a ridiculously bad actress throughout. after seeing Blake Lively
in savages the other day this is some bad bad deja vu.

I don't know if I should applaud or woefully shake my head at the choice you've made in trying to watch this

gave up 80 mins through for the sake of my own pride and sanity

Guys, don't forget the good Rock of Ages
http://therisingstorm.net/audio/rockofages.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1V8GtZjWFQ