rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

pinata zoroaster

Pazuzuzolo

I guess the name was chosen because "p'zolo!" is the sound someone makes when they bite into one and spit it out because it's too hot.

If there was a Klingon Pizza Hut, what would they call these?

pizza vuvuzelas think abt it

so who is gonna be the first one of us to actually eat a p'zolo?

i mean we all know it's gonna be me but i just figured i'd give someone else the opportunity to step up to the plate this time

* steps up to plate, looks at contents of plate, walks away *

The bacon sundae would probably be good if I were really high. The P'zone thing just looks incredibly unappealing and I don't hate Pizza Hut pizza (although it's been about a decade since I've eaten it so maybe it's terrible now).

Here is a blog post criticizing people who are snobs about a BK bacon sundae: http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2012/06/13/154911191/how-we-talk-about-a-bacon-sundae

see if i was really high* i'd prefer something like forty pounds of chewy bread and greasy meat

*sub in "really drunk" here since i don't smoke

this is not a chain restaurant but at the county fair this year you can haz cheezburgers w glazed doughnuts instead of buns, feel like that's probably old hat to people east of the rockies

I've had bacon + ice cream or bacon + chocolate on a few occasions and it's never really been a very successful combination. It's basically just a sweet thing with a few chewy out-of-place bits of bacon floating around.

― "Holy crap," I mutter, as he gently taps my area (silby), Friday, June 15, 2012 2:47 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark

yeah this was how I felt about it. I was thinking maybe they could distill bacon and brew their sundae sauce with some bacon juice to get a more even spread of the bacon flavor.

Blame Paula Deen for that one - http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paulas-home-cooking/the-ladys-brunch-burger-recipe/index.html

strongo you oughtta switch

that vosges chocolate w bacon (and other sweet bacon foods) are a gimmick, you could just use sea salt and it'd be the same

attention, this thread is only about american chain restaurants!!!

a p'zone is like a calzone?

http://pizzone.ytmnd.com/

that cat is completely in charge!

o what sad madness the bacon trend hath wrought in its wake

keep hearing the figaro song in my head except it goes P'ZOLO P'ZOLO P'ZOLO

anyway this bacon sundae thing is really gross, the lower classes are so vile

*pops melon wrapped in imported prosciutto into mouth*

P'Zones have been around for more than ten years (they introduced them while I was working my way through CNA school there), did they stop selling them at some point?

nah we're just pretending it's new

no see P'ZOLO see

hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good sandwich tube

http://i.cdn.turner.com/asfix/repository/8a25c3920ef15683010ef214f9770177/thumbnail_14429.jpg

P'ZOLO

p'zolo I luv u

Brittany Faulkner ‏@befaulkner
@K_BO_14 I'm getting a p'zone and Michael's getting a p'zolo (pizza hut). What do you want?
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http://bizarroiloveyou.ytmnd.com/

Max Silvestri
@maxsilvestri 24h

Pizza Hut's is pretty good, but I'll always prefer how my Italian grandmother made Buffalo Chicken P'zolo.

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Really hoping someone does archive all these. I asked over on oreo pizza: WTF if there was a comprehensive history of the pointless novelty pizza, but got nowhere. Where did it all begin? And when will it all end? Pizza is like the ultimate goof-proof junk food meal; it's transparent to everyone involved that these gimmicks are just attention-grabbing marketing hooks as discussed upthread, but since both customers and pizza magnates know it, can't they just, like, stop?

all it takes is one novelty hit like a chicken mcnugget to make it worthwhile.

but that's just a wad of chicken. they don't do anything WEIRD to it, besides the thing they do to make it into a wad.

what if they ground up leftover pizza into and formed it into a waddy extrusion that could be breaded and fried into a nugget?

i think i would try the p'zone if someone else ordered it and paid for it and put it in front of me. i would *try* it, not necessarily finish it.

oh, have i got news for you

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2599/4017063511_cf6ab72970.jpg

fuck, pizza rolls are good.

there are pizza-flavored potstickers that are pretty yummy, but they are asian frozen foods alchemy, not novelty fast food alchemy.
http://pds9.egloos.com/pds/200808/09/03/b0007603_489da987dc4c6.jpg

take excess cheese product, freeze in pacojet containers --> parmesan sorbet!

doctor casino I invite you to my thread pizza commercials from asia

pz'YOLO

You are now watching the throne
Don't let me eat a P'Zone

you know how many p'zones I own?

this might not count but i tried one of taco bell's new "cantina bowls" today. i imagine it's still terrible for you since it contains both guacamole-product and a creamy sauce, but it made me feel less like death than i usually do after eating there.

Cinnabon 'Pizzabon' - http://kotaku.com/5936215/cinnabons-pizzabon-the-snacktaku-hideous-abomination-review

http://cdn.cstatic.net/g/500x/http://cdn.cstatic.net/images/gridfs/502a60b885216d0e61004b91/the-pizzabon-cinnabon-pizza.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/g3upx.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/vIDJH.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/WM4b9.jpg

KFC literally serves you a bowl of hot vomit

:(

post some pix of real chinese food to make up for the queasy feeling I now have

I like:
mashed potatoes
gravy
corn
friend chicken
cheese

So why does this make me feel so bad inside?

Boy does my friend who has lived in Japan for 30 years crave pancake breakfasts when stateside.

https://media-cldnry.s-nbcnews.com/image/upload/t_fit-560w,f_auto,q_auto:eco,dpr_2.0/rockcms/2023-06/pizza-hut-pickle-pizza-zz-230606-01-f119bd.jpg

not to be outdone, been inundated with ads for the Papa John's Cool Ranch Doritos Papadia lately... don't worry, in case that's not enough Cool Ranch Doritos for you, it also comes with Doritos Cool Ranch dipping sauce and you can get the meal deal with a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos on the side

https://sportshub.cbsistatic.com/i/2023/04/26/b60390e5-d93f-4c6f-8b23-0e940f25dda5/papa-johns-cool-ranch.jpg

need someone from papa john's to sell me a container of the cool ranch seasoning

Not mad at the concept of pickles on pizza

Stop the condiment wars, the undisputed champ is here – Pepsi Colachup. Sweet, salty, and ready to try at select baseball stadiums on July 4th. Hot dogs are #BetterWithPepsi pic.twitter.com/7YQJdoAcTW

— Pepsi (@pepsi) June 27, 2023

why not Ketchepsi?