what a kind owl
― Word of Wisdom Robots (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 01:37 (eleven years ago) link
not sure the kind cartoon owl is qualified to give people advice about medication tho
― Word of Wisdom Robots (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 01:44 (eleven years ago) link
that's great!
― goole, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 01:50 (eleven years ago) link
you guys are swell
― alpha farticles, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 01:51 (eleven years ago) link
I like the list:
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m57qkbl50I1rr4zq1o1_500.jpg
I should print that and stick it on the fridge.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 01:53 (eleven years ago) link
I like that a lot
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 01:54 (eleven years ago) link
numbers one and three there partic otm in my experience
― a hauntingly unemployed american (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 01:55 (eleven years ago) link
I feel like apologizing to someone every day helps too but tbh that's because I fuck up a lot.
― Word of Wisdom Robots (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 02:00 (eleven years ago) link
Heh I always get told to STOP apologising for everything by my housemate :)
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 02:01 (eleven years ago) link
Ugh. Sorry guys, but that tumblr's advice is horrible. Putting a nicely drawn owl on it doesn't make it any better.
― emil.y, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 02:04 (eleven years ago) link
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m15o73uOVk1rr4zq1o2_500.jpg
Anon, I don’t know if you’ve ever considered whether or not you may be asexual, or if you’re even comfortable considering that label for yourself, but either way, I would encourage you to look up one of the many asexual communities online! At the very least, it should be a comfort to spend time with people who will never tell you that you need to be in a romantic or sexual relationship in order to be healthy and happy!
jumping to a lot of conclusions here, asexuowl
― Word of Wisdom Robots (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 02:06 (eleven years ago) link
sorry this was the question
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m15o73uOVk1rr4zq1o1_500.jpg
Cool list, partic the owl. Damn, looks like the owl was already made light of. Anyway, hardest one for me was the last, kindness from others didn't exist in my brain so it could never be recognized. Totally mindblowing finding out it was something real ... breaking out of depression is like reality totally morphing and changing one grand realization at a time (or really, just seeing the truth more clearly).
― Spectrum, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 02:07 (eleven years ago) link
heh, yeah, no offense but put me on Team Fuckyouowl.
― pplains, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 02:52 (eleven years ago) link
what's the difference between being depressed and suffering from existential crisis?
***
life wouldn't be so difficult to handle or survive or work with if i (or we, rather) lived in a healthier global culture and society.
like, is all this war and murder and starvation and pollution and trauma endemic to the human species, or did we go terribly wrong somewhere along the way? i have a hard time believing we evolved to become such a destructive, hateful species. we are capable of so much more.
i don't know. i don't think i'm depressed so much as traumatized by our unhealthy culture.
― alpha farticles, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 02:58 (eleven years ago) link
ws asexuowl
― ninguna informacion para la DEA (Eric H.), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 03:00 (eleven years ago) link
ARGH
Ok, so I have been half-turned-down for a promotion, despite being recommended by the previous occupant of the job and the next highest up at the place because I didn't answer one or two v. vague questions to the woman actually interviewing me, and now will have to be re-interviewed with it.
And everything seems to have broken with none of it being my fault. To fix my laptop will cost... about the same as a new laptop. TY screen for exploding one morning. My bike is fucked too.
Oh and my best friends/only fucking friends around here are moving to Bristol. Fucking ay.
I think I'd be cool but all this shit happened within the same week. I just can't seem to catch a fucking break. I'm getting drunk and listening to Slick Rick loudly. It's not like i've got shit else to do.
― Smothered, Covered and Chunked!!! (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 15:13 (eleven years ago) link
what it feels like for me
-- most everything in my life has been a colossal failure (marriage, career)
-- the things other people point out to cheer me up are barely-disguised colossal failures (grad school)
-- the few things i have been successful are small and fleeting and besides i have failed to capitalize on these things (learned how to DJ at age 35, state fair 1st place in architectural drawing)
-- things are not going to get better. if anything they have only been getting worse and worse and judging from the state of my grandparent's generation they are going to get really bad before i die of natural causes, if i die of natural causes.
-- my goals in life have basically shrunk down to appearing stable enough that i don't ruin my parent's impending retirement and twilight of life by having them worry about what will happen to me after they die. then when they die, i can go ahead and die with a clean conscience.
― the late great, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 21:05 (eleven years ago) link
something i have realized is that aside from my family, all of my friends are either a) literally clinically mentally ill or b) indigent
this tells me something negative about my person which i can't really put into words
― the late great, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 21:08 (eleven years ago) link
i often think my dog is disappointed with me or angry with me.
― the late great, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 21:09 (eleven years ago) link
my meds seem to be having an effect. what that means for now is i still recognise all the ways i've fucked up, and all the things that are not good about my life and may not ever improve, but i suddenly seem to have just enough resources to deal with them and sometimes even look other people in the eye and be honest with them. i know i've seen this feeling appear before and i've let it slide away or done things to wreck it, but just observing that pills seem to make me feel even a little bit less flat is enough to remind me that the worst times are not all i am.
i dunno what to say late great, i'm not in your head so i can't know how you feel. but i'm sure your worst times are far from being the sum total of who you are, too.
― Mexès Coleslaw Massacre (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 21:31 (eleven years ago) link
same goes for all my fellow travellers on this thread. keep hanging in there.
― Mexès Coleslaw Massacre (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 21:32 (eleven years ago) link
Hey, that's good news, relatively speaking, NV. I'm glad to see it.
― how did I get here? why am I in the whiskey aisle? this is all so (Laurel), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 21:39 (eleven years ago) link
glad to see you are doing better nv.
― Smothered, Covered and Chunked!!! (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 21:42 (eleven years ago) link
late great, nv, might I suggest seeking advice from a talking owl? Or maybe, you should think of taking up a hobby.
― pplains, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 21:43 (eleven years ago) link
all my hobbies are so antisocial :\
have been trying to think of social activities that don't involve either a) booze, or b) people i'd want to kill unless i was full of booze
― Mexès Coleslaw Massacre (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 22:04 (eleven years ago) link
target practice lol
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 22:05 (eleven years ago) link
good work NV - i guess the thing from here is to use this feeling and not to let it go. the letting it slide thing is easy to let happen
― coal, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 22:05 (eleven years ago) link
resources - this is a great word
hoy hoy, late great, nv...you are all a+ dudes in my world. there's benefit from just putting one foot in front of the other, even if it doesn't always feel that way.
hugs xoxo
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 22:07 (eleven years ago) link
hobbies don't have to be social imo! there can come a serenity from antisocial hobbies too, tinkering about with synths or wandering around with a camera can bring a serenity
― coal, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 22:08 (eleven years ago) link
didnt mean to say serenity twice and i also meant to put antisocial in inverted commas
painting/doodling/writing too
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 22:08 (eleven years ago) link
well anything - i just mean that alone time can also be really valuable
― coal, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 22:10 (eleven years ago) link
My hobby advice came straight from the cartoon owl.
He thinks it only takes three licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop, so don't listen to him.
― pplains, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 22:14 (eleven years ago) link
ha oh i didnt know anything about any owls
― coal, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 22:17 (eleven years ago) link
so here's the thing
-- i've been seeing therapists for 14 years. one for 12 years, one for one year during grad school, the most recent for about a year. they have all been excellent. i know all about cognitive behavioral therapy and CBT.
-- i've been taking SSRIs for 14 years, and mood stabilizers for about 4. big doses. my doses nowadays are bigger than ever.
-- i have hobbies, all sorts. creative things like music, outdoorsy things like camping and cycling, fulfilling things like gardening and community service, snuggly things like a doggy.
-- i have a very very supportive family and several - not many - very close and supportive friends that i've had for a long long time.
the thing is i rarely feel any pleasure and i haven't for a long time. i am always focused on the negatives. if something goes well, i only think about the parts that went wrong. if nothing went wrong, i think about all the other times something went wrong and criticize myself for not doing it perfectly every time. my therapist tells me i've coped with criticism by internalizing the criticism, predicting it, and beating my critics to the punch. now i'm too good at criticizing myself and can't stop. it is great to know this, but i want to stop.
i want to be able to wake up w/o dreading the day and thinking about what can go wrong and what went wrong yesterday. i want to leave work w/o feeling like i'm slinking out, having barely avoided being fired. i want to be able to turn my back on people w/o imagining that they're thinking bad things about me. i want to go to sleep at night not thinking about the worst parts of the day.
i understand that your worst times are far from being the sum total of who you are but i want to feel that, and the only times that i do feel that is when i'm just off a manic tear and doing something like admiring my house after cleaning it from midnight until 5 am (even though i rarely have guests) or admiring the 12 hour straight unpaid indesign job i did (for a not-very-important school event which does not need a professional quality program or flier) or the 40 hours that i spent on a mix (that nobody will listen to) etc etc
― the late great, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 22:49 (eleven years ago) link
what about meditation or something that will help you get away from the self-talk for a while?
not to be all hippy-dippy, just curious
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 22:52 (eleven years ago) link
yeah, it's odd, the one time i was really happy i was
-- working minimum wage
-- cycling 30-40 miles per day
in my minimum wage jobs i was busy attending to tons of menial tasks (filing, dusting, moving and packing boxes, watering plants, washing dishes) that got my mind off of everything. and when i was cycling i wasn't thinking about anything but counting my cadence.
maybe i will try that, it is a good suggestion.
― the late great, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 23:03 (eleven years ago) link
i have tried in the past and not been successful but i think it is a good idea.
that makes sense too
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 23:08 (eleven years ago) link
teaching has this emphasis on reflecting on everything you did as a sort of continuous improvement model and in locating all the sources of student behavior in your own actions and changing them as needed
i think this is an excellent idea in theory but in practice - for me - it has basically been a mandate to beat myself up every day.
― the late great, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 23:11 (eleven years ago) link
Maybe you could try reading some philosophy type stuff on happiness
I could say what things that work for me but they're all finely tuned to my personality
Perhaps if you took the Big Five Personality test and Myers-Briggs Type Indicator I could try to give advice suited to your personality
I'm sure there's universal advice out there but I'm only focused on deviations today
― we gotta move these refrigerators (CaptainLorax), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 23:29 (eleven years ago) link
What sort of thoughts make you smile to yourself?
― we gotta move these refrigerators (CaptainLorax), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 23:30 (eleven years ago) link
sorry for whining, i just feel like there's a 500 lb weight on my chest today and i'd like to get it off my chest if you will
― the late great, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 23:30 (eleven years ago) link
infj iirc
― the late great, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 23:31 (eleven years ago) link
no way man, voicing that shit is *important*
― Word of Wisdom Robots (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 23:31 (eleven years ago) link
yeah but i'm seeing my therapist in 24 minutes, surely it could have waited
― the late great, Tuesday, 12 June 2012 23:37 (eleven years ago) link
I gotta take my Myers-Briggs over again to figure out what I have to say if I have to say anything
― we gotta move these refrigerators (CaptainLorax), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 23:37 (eleven years ago) link
I'm probably here in this thread right now because I saw my therapist/med-prescriber a couple hours ago
― we gotta move these refrigerators (CaptainLorax), Tuesday, 12 June 2012 23:38 (eleven years ago) link