Nult satis nisi optimum: Phil McNulty 2011/12

lol merdes

And finally back to hotel in Krakow just as the sun breaks through. Certainly shining on England & Roy Hodgson today. #bbcfootball
@philmcnulty 5 hours ago

5 hours ago, nult will have had a wild bender with the barmy army, inebriated will have arrived back at hotel at 6am.

They have been busy in the transfer market but the main reason for predicting a much-improved Premier League placing for Villa this season is the arrival of the single-minded Lambert. I expect Villa to be much more formidable this season.

Finishing position - 8th

is this the first time he has made any prediction not of the 'formidable catalans barcelona will be a threat in the champions league this year' variety

woah, return of the nakh

that will have been a display name

try parsing this one

It is also a signal that United can and will spend the big money on stellar stars when the moment arrives Ferguson can point at Van Persie as the flesh and blood embodiment of his insistence that owners the Glazers will support him financially when it matters, proof that his public support for the Americans is not simply lip service to his paymasters

that is absolutely immense

'stellar stars' is only about the seventeenth most astounding thing that about that sentence

So while no-one can dress up Van Persie's loss as good news for Arsenal or downsize the challenge now facing Wenger - especially as he has chosen Old Trafford as his next destination - cold reflection from their supporters may just leave them thinking life will go on.

oh shit i didn't even notice "stellar stars"

Haha, I was going to revive this after reading that but got distracted at work.

That quoted bit is like he fired a shotgun full of words at the page.

It's glorious. his ability to make moebus strip sentences out of russian doll grammatical constructions is truly impressive, but even allowing for that he's surely aided by the absence of an obvious full stop there. a relatively crude device by his standards.

http://www.vinylvendors.com/Pictures/s/t/stellastarr365929.jpg

moebius. ykwim.

The Scot hinted at the pain he insists will drive his players to feats of recovery they have accomplished before, bouncing back from the loss of losing the title Ferguson treasures, when he spoke during United's pre-season tour of South Africa.

vintage nult.

btw does anyone think someone had a word about all the "will have knowns", you just don't see them anymore.

And while City will once again cast a considerable shadow, Ferguson can also point to shafts of optimism ahead of United's first test at Everton on Monday even before the signing of Van Persie.

shafts of optimism!

btw does anyone think someone had a word about all the "will have knowns", you just don't see them anymore.

I like to think it was a similar situation to when I realised I kept on putting f'ing things in brackets. Stop! I said to myself, but wd still find myself unconsciously dropping them in. So, McNulty - wrestling away with trying to eliminate 'will have known' from his style, but still forgetting from time to time before exclaiming 'Stop! Recast' and throwing all the words back into his alchemist' pot to come up with something even more deranged and pleasing.

the future perfects are for later on in the season, right now it's just plain future

he is making up for it in other ways though

the sentence structures just get more and more involuted and discordant, just pure will-to-nult with no sub-editors daring to intervene even when the results are strictly nonsensical

it's actually intriguing how someone can "write" sentences that make no sense. what does he think he's saying? he's never saying anything.

Steve Clarke will be delighted with that opening 45 minutes from his new WBA side - but Liverpool will still feel there is plenty in this."

Amazing.

"The secret of good comedy is always in the timing so there was quite simply not enough humble pie to go around as the giant Belgian, almost inevitably after fate was so sorely tempted here, gave a performance of such physical and footballing stature that United's patchwork defence found him unplayable, a bully and a tormentor in the manner manager Moyes would have wanted."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/philmcnulty/2012/08/towering_fellaini_leaves_fergu.html#more

http://i49.tinypic.com/2ppmrkm.jpg

he now merits his name replacing the headline, such is his quality.

Early start for Warsaw tomorrow for England's World Cup qualifier

Felix Baumgartner. Magnificent achievement & tv moment - fantastic shots. Lands on his feet as cool as you like. Pour him a large cold one. @philmcnulty 1 hour ago

Michael Owen tells Leaders in Football Conference that if he plays well for his club he believes he could maybe play for England again
Retweeted by Phil McNulty

his tweets need further analysis.

there could be a big fb post to come yet this season from the evergreen striker

the tweets don't really give him enough space to really show himself

he is all about the long form, it would be like asking bruckner to write three minute powerpop jingles or robert musil liveblogging wimbledon for the guardian

or felix to jump from the kerb

"Full of surprises this Poland trip. Two men appear outside my 39th floor hotel room in swinging seats and hard hats. Brave window cleaners."

Whatever next!

"I decided it would be best to stop masturbating to internet porn while they were there."

"Began composing horror novel, The 39th Floor."

He's got the soundtrack sorted

Phil McNulty ‏@philmcnulty Had some reaction to John Hiatt "Damn This Town" so I'll recommend the equally superb "Down Around My Place" - #2012tunes

Phil McNulty ‏@philmcnulty Had some reaction to the new Taylor Swift album so I'll recommend the equally superb new LP from Ricardo Villalobos- #2012tunes

blah blah Anal Cunt blah blah hashtag

"Ball seems to be moving very slowly across the surface in the early stages here in Warsaw."

shouldn't have taken that gigantic key of ket before the game, phil.

My first thought was "Michael ball isn't playing is he?"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20273167

he's back on form.

Gerrard travels to Stockholm as the only member of England's so-called "Golden Generation" - a title tarnished by the passage of time and persistent under-achievement - guiding the new young breed such as Arsenal's Jack Wilshere, Manchester United midfield man Tom Cleverley, teenage Liverpool team-mate Raheem Sterling and Crystal Palace's emerging tyro Wilfried Zaha.

he will have not been aware that one of the properties of gold is that it will not have tarnished

"teenage Liverpool ninja turtles"

love the way in a sentence so gigantic and unwieldy he still deems it necessary to call Tom Cleverly "midfield man"

That was the touch that delighted me the most. Feel like it should lead to a football version of The Music Man.

sadly he just missed out on his usual "man united midfield man tom cleverley man" full house

About Phil

Phil has covered football on regional and national newspapers since the late 80s and has been BBC Sport's Chief Football Writer since July 2000.

He has covered World Cups for the BBC in Japan and South Korea, Germany and South Africa as well as European Championships in Portugal and Poland and Ukraine.

Born in Liverpool, Phil attended De La Salle Grammar School which later had England striker Wayne Rooney as its most famous ex-pupil.

Phil's main brief is covering the Premier League, England and the Champions League and he can also be heard giving his analysis on BBC Radio 5 live, Radio Four and the World Service.

He was recently included the UK Press Gazette's list of the top 50 UK sports journalists.

About 30 places lower than Ben Dirs.

it's an astonishing level of success for a man who can't read or write.

martin samuel was the winner of that gong tbf

Martin Samwell