SO U MOVING TO HSTNGS! PACK A AMPULE OF ANTIVENOM AND A FACK FULL OF EMINEM

that name looks familiar but it could just be because of "P31n3"

graduated in 94-5?

...maybe? I think that class outnumbered us almost 2-1 tho

(and if she was 95 there wouldn't have been any overlap with us in school)

Was she a great big fat person?

I have no idea who you are on about AND I think St. O dorms were worse than any of the rest of yours, even GAC.

Although that might just be irrational HSTNGS-related competitiveness, not sure.

my freshman dorm was a hovel, my sophomore dorm downright palatial

Really it was my string of wacko roommates that was more of a problem for me...

gbx, where were you? (or was this in Montana, when you lived on the Range while absorbing organic chem or whatever?)

I keep reading thru the _50 Shades of Grey_ thread. A. bought the book for me as a joke last week. It is *terrible*.

I hope someone on the thread notes that there is a whole scene where the male protagonist gets an ob/gyn to come see the female protagonist and then says, "I can't wait to get you naked."

Yes, because isn't every woman's dream to have sex right after a PELVIC EXAM?!

(this book has offered a lot of lolz, though, when combined with a couple of friends and some Scotch that tasted suspiciously like Magic Markers. Drink, read out loud, criticize, spontaneously act out some of the nonsense... hilarity will ensue!)

at a lesser ivy league institution

sophomore year two of my friends, by sheer chance, ended up with the #1 and #2 picks in the housing lottery (one was the actual, random first pick; the other one got the pick before that by winning some dumb contest?). this was an oft whispered-about housing lottery ~situation~, since it meant that #1 and #2 could each choose to live in one of two rooms that, together, were the whole top floor of one of the older dorms. the actual assigned rooms were pretty tiny, and triples, but they opened on to a shared common space that was legitimately huge (at LEAST 20x20). plus, miraculously, that 'common space' was actually private---you could only get to it through the dorm rooms, or by a door that only opened to those dorm rooms' keys. also there were two bathrooms.

we installed a full bar (friend #1 actually hammered brass over a huge piece of wood and stole a blood pump to serve drinks), got hell of couches, built a five gallon [REDACTED] called the death star, and were able to have enormous should-have-been-busted parties because if security came to check in (there were these little things they had to beep some device against on each floor), you'd see them slowly walking up the four flights of spiraling stairs and tell everyone inside to shut up. no trouble found us, except when a damage deposit got withheld because the lawnmower my friends were breaking down to use in a hovercraft leaked some oil on the carpet.

when i lived in montana, i lived in a house with a stoner and a retarded golden retriever named "boof", and the three of us had a wistful encounter with an indentured vacuum salesman

documented on this very message board

http://farm1.staticflickr.com/213/488866533_a8fb1c0d3a_o.jpg

http://farm1.staticflickr.com/211/488863262_e30e7e2d79_o.jpg

it was a simpler time

I followed the vacuum salesman event LIVE

Good times.

Also this:

a damage deposit got withheld because the lawnmower my friends were breaking down to use in a hovercraft leaked some oil on the carpet.

^_^

HEY GUYS

Art Shanty Projects in MN

for your consideration

well I'm not getting any work done today

^o^

okay since I actually have to get work done today, I'm going to just send what I have and come back to this

Yay!

excerpt of an actual conversation I just had with my wife

J: "There's so much I feel like we should have a fudge party."
D: "O_O"
J: "You can't really call up your friends and say, 'Hey, wanna come over to our fudge party?' though."
D: "O_O O_O lolololololololol"

also calling the HSTNGS '91 batsignal for a thread:

The Groom's Cake

every so often i forget this town is crazy as you all say it is then BOOM someone's casually telling me about some bestiality incident then BOOM i'm hearing some story of mutual pube shaving in a bathtub* then BOOM a coworker str8 up uses the phrase "a colored" in the break room.

a friend came to visit, which in her case is usually a silly drinking and dancing sort of event, but i guess we had all of our fun grilling all day, because we got on some long conversation abt race/gender/queer stuff that night and every five minutes or so i would remember a brand new incident of some goomba in town spouting the most baseline racist, awful, crazy shit i've ever heard a real person say. even into the next morning i was like 'oh yeah the girl who got fired for yelling the n word on the sales floor' and 'oh yeah the guy who when he was bored at work would yell PAGING DR. F****T into a megaphone' and on like that. it was a slow revealing shock how much i had just tuned out.

*in case your mind didn't immediately go there: pubes float.

yeah, that's pretty much HSTNGS in a nutshell; there's actually some good fun to be had if you can ignore the horrifying noxious bullshit, which is so pervasive that it becomes invisible

yep, i'm starting to make friends with a few people who aren't insane. i think i'm agitated by the circus because i work a lot more and work now often consists of standing between two Todd Packers for hours at a stretch.

~more~ agitated by the...yeah

btw I am imagining all of the events in yr first story happening in quick succession and I'm totally dying

er, first paragraph

Is there actually some good fun to be had?

We had good fun! It often meant hijacking a car and driving to the Cities, but still sometimes we had fun in town.

We totally did, but it was the kind of fun you can have anywhere.

"it was the kind of fun you can have anywhere"

Really? Laughing bitterly at our plight of seeming never escape??

Wait, maybe that wasn't the fun part.

That's classic teenage fun.

sometimes I really miss you guys

we could just go chewin down at the bottoms, gotta case a stones in the bed, fukkin levi put some chewers on the dodge, lets do it

^ genuinely sad I never went mudding ;_;

It's never too late!

Q: Why put stones in the bed of the truck? Don't you want to be on top of the muddy swamp stuff? I assume there's a balance; one needs traction, but one doesn't want to sink too deep. How deep is the mud in the bottoms?

deep enough to make sure that the kind of people unlucky enough to ask those sorts of questions will never be found

mudding culture is no joke

http://www.cthulhumud.com/images/layout_header.jpg

hahahaha

whoa i am deep down the rabit hole of muddin culture here on the internet

associated interests via google search of myspace for muddin are pretty amazing

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQO3SRnQc3k2b6t0Tzf8GxuRKwAEA8Rn_LheQn0OjogU1fvn7XXCqHzRlgf

dude the case of stones is for gettin drunk

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kz3aGViQWj4/Tbc5u06cCCI/AAAAAAAAASA/PnFtd49l2mk/s1600/keystone-light-costume2.jpg

lets party