Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"There are so many islands!
As many islands as the stars at night
like falling fruit around the schooner Flight.
But things must fall, and so it always was,
on one hand Venus, on the other Mars;
fall, and are one, just as this earth is one
island in archipelagoes of stars."

The "Ted" captions they chose are all rub.
Anyways, moving on..

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/06/18/p465/120618_contest_p465.jpg

"The state arts board called and they revoked your grant."

"Every day I write the book."

when you said great american novel etc etc

"All giant killing and no play makes Jack a dull boy?"

"Why won't you ever let me see what you're writing?"

"The size of your book makes this room essentially unlivable, why would you do this?"

"your handwriting is really bad"

"You going to forge Jonathan Swift's signature as well?"

"Why did I marry a man whose ass is made out of blocks?"

"yes, they can send books directly to kindles, but they don't use wonkavision, dear"

"The phrase 'The Great American Novel' doesn't refer to great as in size!"

"I'm pretty sure largehand isn't the opposite of shorthand."

"This isn't going to work."

"The "Ted" captions they chose are all rub."

"What do you mean, 'What's wrong with this picture?' Who the hell uses the diaeresis anymore?"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/06/25/p465/120625_contest_p465.jpg

95% of entries to use the caption "It's my day off"

"My arms are tired"

alternatively: "No, it's just a costume"

"Elvis stole my haircut"

"FUI"

"I could punch straight through your head."

"After this flight, I'm gonna feel like crap tonight? Get it? Sounds like kryptonite? I'm Superman, and that was a joke about how no one likes air travel."

"Laundry day."

"It's not the fans, it's just a few people in white wigs and members of parliament. They got a problem because the law is from the 1800s."

"Up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Supes riding coach."

"I'm excited to finally get a chance to relax and enjoy a good meal while flying."

"No, I'm 1940's Cartoon Superman."

"I didn't notice. I can hear children screaming all over the world."

Hahahahaa

"Pretty soon the TSA will make you wear your underwear on the outside too."

I get a lot of frequent flier miles

They overbooked Wonder Woman's invisible plane.

"MY passport says Bruce Wayne."

Ebert's entry: "This way I don't get as many bugs in my teeth."

"Don't freak out, but both engines failed. I'm holding this plane up with my buttcheeks."

"would you like to hear another of my superhero-themed bondage fantasies? Stewardess! 2 more vodka sodas for me and Amory Lovins, please!"

"I plan on getting drunk. You'll love Absolut All-Star Superman."

lolz

"i can see through your clothes. right through them. does that turn you on?"

"It could be weirder. Like, just to pick an example at random, I might be wearing luggage."

"Lol, this legroom sure isn't 'super'!"

"I just travel this way for the patdowns."

"Nope, just a regular guy. What is this 'air marshal' program of which you speak?"

"Yes, I started having to travel this way after I became a quadriplegic. Thanks for reminding me, asshole."

"There's a man out there."

"Well, the other way, I miss out on all the great deals from Skymall!"

All of nuts' are killing it.

"You're not my type."