o_O 3: Business as (un)usual

Seems like you'd reach a point where stuffing a butt plug up a dead body's rectum /= some possible fluids leaking out.

I guess I won't be having chocolate chip oatmeal this morning after all

"All right! 62-year-old white male here, five-seven, 260 pounds, let's roll him over…"

"You know? Maybe, I don't know. Is it something we really need to worry about?"

"DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR THE DEAD? Now hand me that butt plug…"

asses to asses, butts to butts

... what do the dead need butt plugs for?

― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Wednesday, May 30, 2012 8:26 AM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I think it's so stuff doesn't leak out?

― wolf kabob (ENBB), Wednesday, May 30, 2012 8:28 AM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

isn't this why the living need butt plugs?

unless i'm misunderstanding something here

guys, i think it's like a large plastic screw, it goes up there to prevent the escape of gas and fluid, its p standard i think

don't look at me like that, i watched six feet under

Yeah, that's sort of what I was picturing. I guess it's obv not for once you're in the ground but during the preceding days for wakes and stuff when you really want all that stuff to stay inside the body.

God I hope Pat Robertson's funeral is open-casket.

is it too late to write a "pantsless-with-feet-in-stirrups" clause into my will

"Man, it's a shame about the president. Should've never gone to Dallas…"

"Yeah, this is something else. Now hand me that butt plug."

"Wait. What if we get the family to do a closed-casket? Throw a flag over it and everything?"

"But what about the smell?"

"Hang on --- Arlington Stables? You got any riderless horses?"

I'm going to stop now, but suffice to say, I've got about ten more hypothetical dialogues between morticians about butt plugs.

I can't help it, it's almost like they're … … leaking out of my … … brain.

I think it's so stuff doesn't leak out?

― wolf kabob (ENBB), Wednesday, May 30, 2012 8:28 AM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is why i sutured, btw

asses to asses, butts to butts

No joke, this was the phrase that my brother-in-law was trying to build a Detroit style booty track around for a while.

http://hiphopwired.com/2012/06/01/brian-mcknight-returns-with-youporn-anthem-listen/

i think you call that a "missed opportunity"

i was at a friend's birthday party at a bar that serves food last nite. this girl i know asked the bartender "hey would you mind checking on that pizza i ordered a while back? i'm getting so hungry i'm gonna eat your face off!!"

i put my hand on her shoulder and explained to her how we don't say that anymore. she had a horrified look on her face for the next 10 minutes.

an hour later the same girl and i are standing with a guy who goes "hey so have you all heard about the zombie apocalypse going down in florida?????????? lololol ha ha ha ha ha"

u_u

Sorry g, but me and my kids are going to continue taking turns eating our faces off.

And they're going to keep that little dog Checkers too.

you wanna see some fuckin' anal
i can get you close enough to smell
gonna drive you insano

so i listened to that

I recommend at least listening to the ending.

does end well, have to admit

kind of stuck in my head now (DOT COM)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mIH0NctQq4

5 people on a motorcycle get hit by a car (noone dies or is seriously hurt)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0Kfz1RkreE

http://shanghaiist.com/2012/06/02/luka-rocco-magnotta-lin-jun.php

"what y'all know bout them creampies"?

aaaaand now i looked at dayo's links. fuck.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2154283/Cats-away-Artist-turns-dead-pet-flying-helicopter-killed-car.html?ITO=1490

http://i.imgur.com/wsdub.png

ha came to post just that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WT69H5ZEoto&feature=related

catcopter is the funniest fucking thing (until it fly @ u face)

that's really fucked up

WOW THAT IS SO CREEPY

jesus christ

the terrified expression on the cat's face

That cat thing is horrifying.

well. that's dignified.

feel bad for cat copter. dunno why. the cat's no longer around to mind.

My mom always threatened to stuff our fat calico, Richard, and keep him around as a doorstop since that's what he basically was for 8 years.

He must have heard word because he ran off.

http://files.sharenator.com/E78E832C_FB47_42D4_9156_2E0ECCA7734_Garry_Kasparov_incident-s580x386-1893-580.jpg

flying penis attacks Gary Kasparov

http://i.imgur.com/KVKuH.jpg

otm

catcopter otm

OTM. And depressing.

if dude's sole purpose was to do something cool with his dead cat and hang out in his back yard with his friends and play with it, it wouldn't be so bad.

the way it feels like dude set out to be internet famous and succeeded is what makes me feel gross to me

how dare he fly his dead cat to internet fame

sentences you only hear on ilx

kind of o_O mostly lol lil mini documentary

http://vimeo.com/43312066