Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

Please please submit that.

at the very least to colin firth's agent

short version:

"Why, do you fancy a shag?"

But that doesn't make any mention of the toll booth/barrier/fence deal. The implications are completely different.

it's irony/juxtaposition.

"I said from the start this congestion charge was a terrible mistake."

"this island satisfies me because i fucking hate mexicans"

"You smell."

"I told you no one wants to live in a gated commune."

"i knew nobody else would be here this early, didn't i say nobody else would be here this early? i just knew nobody else would be here this early"

"Yes, I know you like having him around, but to be perfectly frank I feel it's another unnecessary expenditure we just can't afford right now"

"Come to think of it, I actually do feel safer than I did four years ago."

^sounds like a winner

"That sure was an unusual TED conference."

^continuity

"I thought YOU read the terms and conditions."

Ryanair's tactic of flying into regional airports failed spectacularly in the Carribbean

"I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me."

*farts*

"There are so many islands!
As many islands as the stars at night
like falling fruit around the schooner Flight.
But things must fall, and so it always was,
on one hand Venus, on the other Mars;
fall, and are one, just as this earth is one
island in archipelagoes of stars."

The "Ted" captions they chose are all rub.
Anyways, moving on..

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/06/18/p465/120618_contest_p465.jpg

"The state arts board called and they revoked your grant."

"Every day I write the book."

when you said great american novel etc etc

"All giant killing and no play makes Jack a dull boy?"

"Why won't you ever let me see what you're writing?"

"The size of your book makes this room essentially unlivable, why would you do this?"

"your handwriting is really bad"

"You going to forge Jonathan Swift's signature as well?"

"Why did I marry a man whose ass is made out of blocks?"

"yes, they can send books directly to kindles, but they don't use wonkavision, dear"

"The phrase 'The Great American Novel' doesn't refer to great as in size!"

"I'm pretty sure largehand isn't the opposite of shorthand."

"This isn't going to work."

"The "Ted" captions they chose are all rub."

"What do you mean, 'What's wrong with this picture?' Who the hell uses the diaeresis anymore?"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/06/25/p465/120625_contest_p465.jpg

95% of entries to use the caption "It's my day off"

"My arms are tired"

alternatively: "No, it's just a costume"

"Elvis stole my haircut"

"FUI"

"I could punch straight through your head."

"After this flight, I'm gonna feel like crap tonight? Get it? Sounds like kryptonite? I'm Superman, and that was a joke about how no one likes air travel."

"Laundry day."

"It's not the fans, it's just a few people in white wigs and members of parliament. They got a problem because the law is from the 1800s."

"Up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Supes riding coach."

"I'm excited to finally get a chance to relax and enjoy a good meal while flying."

"No, I'm 1940's Cartoon Superman."

"I didn't notice. I can hear children screaming all over the world."

Hahahahaa