Oh, jeez. Argh.
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:19 (eleven years ago) link
“That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he grinds into me
Hahaha are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? This woman is now a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE for this?
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:21 (eleven years ago) link
a few comments down on that thread:
Originally in the fic he threw [the tampon] on the floor. When fans got insanely grossed out, she changed it to the toilet.
i don't know what's worse, throwing a used tampon on the floor or actively reminding the reader that all the sexy action is happening next to a toilet.
― producer / dj / humanitarian (reddening), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:22 (eleven years ago) link
"oh jeez. oh gosh golly. oh... goodness! heavens to betsy!"
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:24 (eleven years ago) link
he raps as he grinds
― shit_ebooks (am0n), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:27 (eleven years ago) link
it's just depressing i guess "the power of marketing". i've not read much airport bookstore kinda genre fiction but i get the idea that much of that stuff is at least very well-crafted
chapter in future version of "extraodinary popular delusions..." book: in 2012 tens of thousands of ppl convinced themselves that a poorly-written fanfiction novel was sexy
― dell (del), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:28 (eleven years ago) link
"I like big butts and I cannot lie," he raps as he grinds into me.
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:29 (eleven years ago) link
so basically the lead woman in this is a young Edie McClurg?
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:29 (eleven years ago) link
Or Eddie Murphy's Aunt Bunny.
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:30 (eleven years ago) link
I mean it can't ONLY be the power of marketing, otherwise it would be much easier to create runaway bestsellers like this, I'd think.
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:30 (eleven years ago) link
This author and her publisher just somehow, perhaps accidentally, found a way to package porn so that it's palatable to the average non-porn-consuming woman, and the timing was right. Maybe Mad Men opened the door for it a bit?
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:31 (eleven years ago) link
wait waht
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:31 (eleven years ago) link
Mad Men is lady porn?
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:32 (eleven years ago) link
Rich, powerful suit-wearing man will show you who's boss but not too much.
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:32 (eleven years ago) link
"well how do you like them apples!" i exclaim, as he grasps my underpants and tears them off my body
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:32 (eleven years ago) link
looool
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:33 (eleven years ago) link
Are you guys unfamiliar with romance novels? I opened up one of those harlequin paperbacks once and the first sentence I read was 'his penis was erect'. Pretty porny.
― polyphonic, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:33 (eleven years ago) link
"Whip me again!" I groan, "it's really kewl!"
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:34 (eleven years ago) link
"Now that's different!" I gasp, as he turns me around and pulls back my hips.
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:34 (eleven years ago) link
it was a dark and stormy genitals.
― shit_ebooks (am0n), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:35 (eleven years ago) link
^^ thanking u
― it was a dark and stormy genitals. (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:35 (eleven years ago) link
That's the basic plot of almost every romance novel ever. I think 50 shades just has more kinky sex?
― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:35 (eleven years ago) link
As he plunges deep inside of me, my head lolls back and an involuntary "UFF DA!" escapes my lips.
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:36 (eleven years ago) link
lol amon
― dell (del), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:36 (eleven years ago) link
what was that fantasy conan-type novel some anonymous teenager wrote that would get passed around at conventions and ppl would take turns reading it out loud? the hero's name was "Glrg" or something...
― dell (del), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:38 (eleven years ago) link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gor
?
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:40 (eleven years ago) link
but i get the idea that much of that stuff is at least very well-crafted
Uh...
― Love Max Ophüls of us all (Michael White), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:40 (eleven years ago) link
Gor blimey
xpost
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, May 22, 2012 2:34 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
lawl
― goole, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:41 (eleven years ago) link
oh, Eye of Argon.
"You make love well wench," Admitted Grignr as he reached for the vessel of potent wine his charge had been quaffing.
A flying foot caught the mug Grignr had taken hold of, sending its blood red contents sloshing over a flickering crescent; leashing tongues of bright orange flame to the foot trodden floor.
"Remove yourself Sirrah, the wench belongs to me;" Blabbered a drunken soldier, too far consumed by the influences of his virile brew to take note of the superior size of his adversary.
Grignr lithly bounded from the startled female, his face lit up to an ashen red ferocity, and eyes locked in a searing feral blaze toward the swaying soldier.
"To hell with you, braggard!" Bellowed the angered Ecordian, as he hefted his finely honed broad sword.
― dell (del), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:43 (eleven years ago) link
nugs vs raspin vs grindage.
― Merdeyeux, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:43 (eleven years ago) link
romance novels are nothing new, i think this one is only remarkable because 1. it's a breakout hit of self-publishing, 2. it had a built in niche audience appeal due to its origin as twilight fan-fiction, and 3. it is kinkier than most examples of the genre?
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:46 (eleven years ago) link
"Remove yourself Sirrah, the wench belongs to me;"
AMAZING.
― it was a dark and stormy genitals. (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:49 (eleven years ago) link
Are you guys unfamiliar with romance novels?
u bet yr ass.
I might read this if it was written in the style of Penthouse Forum letters, better yet if G Gottfried did the audiobook.
― World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:49 (eleven years ago) link
The lead character sounds like the mom form Bobby's World.
― oh jeez. I can feel myself quicken. (Austerity Ponies), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:51 (eleven years ago) link
Oh jeez is so midwestern, it reminds me of these guys:
http://www.totalpackers.com/images/dabears.jpg
― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:57 (eleven years ago) link
I wasn't kidding about my wife's fb feed being full of mothers in their 30s going on about this book & the ensuing fuckfests with their astonished hubbies.
― Euler, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:58 (eleven years ago) link
Times like these make me so happy I don't have a fb account.
― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:00 (eleven years ago) link
man i need to step up my oversharing game. i mean, just b/c i haven't been gettin' any lately doesn't mean that there haven't been some... ~personal fireworks~ that i'm guessing my fb brethren would just love to hear more about
― dell (del), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:04 (eleven years ago) link
"Oh laws yes" she murmured as he harvested her cornfield
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:07 (eleven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW-4Fn-d9OY
― Hare Kinsey (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:11 (eleven years ago) link
loool, bathtub mom hahah
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:29 (eleven years ago) link
"You're darn tootin'!" she exclaimed as he thrust into her womanhood.
― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:31 (eleven years ago) link
"Boy howdy!"
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:32 (eleven years ago) link
“That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he put a boner.
― spextor vs bextor (contenderizer), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:33 (eleven years ago) link
"Rasps" makes me hear a Moe from the Simpsons type voice.
"That's right baby!"
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:34 (eleven years ago) link
"You'll feel this one right in ya hoo-hah, baby" (in Moe voice)
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:35 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/the-15-bestworst-lines-from-erotic-bestseller-fif
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:01 (eleven years ago) link
holy lol
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:05 (eleven years ago) link
salsa/meringue line ftw
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:06 (eleven years ago) link