slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

xp obvs

You can still read the original online but googling the title (posted upthread) + pdf. just fyi.

my stepmom brought it up at dinner the other night. and my dumbest coworker tried to convince us all to read it.

can anyone confirm or deny that the so-called tampon scene actually appears in the book? my belief in god depends on the answer, thx

He sets a punishing rhythm – in, out, and he reaches around and finds my clitoris, massaging me… oh jeez. I can feel myself quicken.

50 Shades of Grey: The Quickening

are they having sex or making bread

Oh jeez.

I am lolling hard at "oh jeez"

oops, there goes my skirt down under my feet, oh jeez

^^^ lolz

Oh, jeez. Argh.

“That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he grinds into me

Hahaha are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? This woman is now a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE for this?

a few comments down on that thread:

Originally in the fic he threw [the tampon] on the floor. When fans got insanely grossed out, she changed it to the toilet.

i don't know what's worse, throwing a used tampon on the floor or actively reminding the reader that all the sexy action is happening next to a toilet.

"oh jeez. oh gosh golly. oh... goodness! heavens to betsy!"

he raps as he grinds

it's just depressing i guess "the power of marketing". i've not read much airport bookstore kinda genre fiction but i get the idea that much of that stuff is at least very well-crafted

chapter in future version of "extraodinary popular delusions..." book: in 2012 tens of thousands of ppl convinced themselves that a poorly-written fanfiction novel was sexy

"I like big butts and I cannot lie," he raps as he grinds into me.

so basically the lead woman in this is a young Edie McClurg?

Or Eddie Murphy's Aunt Bunny.

I mean it can't ONLY be the power of marketing, otherwise it would be much easier to create runaway bestsellers like this, I'd think.

This author and her publisher just somehow, perhaps accidentally, found a way to package porn so that it's palatable to the average non-porn-consuming woman, and the timing was right. Maybe Mad Men opened the door for it a bit?

wait waht

Mad Men is lady porn?

Rich, powerful suit-wearing man will show you who's boss but not too much.

"well how do you like them apples!" i exclaim, as he grasps my underpants and tears them off my body

looool

Are you guys unfamiliar with romance novels? I opened up one of those harlequin paperbacks once and the first sentence I read was 'his penis was erect'. Pretty porny.

"Whip me again!" I groan, "it's really kewl!"

"Now that's different!" I gasp, as he turns me around and pulls back my hips.

it was a dark and stormy genitals.

^^ thanking u

Rich, powerful suit-wearing man will show you who's boss but not too much.

That's the basic plot of almost every romance novel ever. I think 50 shades just has more kinky sex?

As he plunges deep inside of me, my head lolls back and an involuntary "UFF DA!" escapes my lips.

lol amon

what was that fantasy conan-type novel some anonymous teenager wrote that would get passed around at conventions and ppl would take turns reading it out loud? the hero's name was "Glrg" or something...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gor

?

but i get the idea that much of that stuff is at least very well-crafted

Uh...

Gor blimey

xpost

"Now that's different!" I gasp, as he turns me around and pulls back my hips.

― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, May 22, 2012 2:34 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lawl

oh, Eye of Argon.

"You make love well wench," Admitted Grignr as he reached for the vessel of potent wine his charge had been quaffing.

A flying foot caught the mug Grignr had taken hold of, sending its blood red contents sloshing over a flickering crescent; leashing tongues of bright orange flame to the foot trodden floor.

"Remove yourself Sirrah, the wench belongs to me;" Blabbered a drunken soldier, too far consumed by the influences of his virile brew to take note of the superior size of his adversary.

Grignr lithly bounded from the startled female, his face lit up to an ashen red ferocity, and eyes locked in a searing feral blaze toward the swaying soldier.

"To hell with you, braggard!" Bellowed the angered Ecordian, as he hefted his finely honed broad sword.

nugs vs raspin vs grindage.

romance novels are nothing new, i think this one is only remarkable because 1. it's a breakout hit of self-publishing, 2. it had a built in niche audience appeal due to its origin as twilight fan-fiction, and 3. it is kinkier than most examples of the genre?

"Remove yourself Sirrah, the wench belongs to me;"

AMAZING.

Are you guys unfamiliar with romance novels?

u bet yr ass.

I might read this if it was written in the style of Penthouse Forum letters, better yet if G Gottfried did the audiobook.

The lead character sounds like the mom form Bobby's World.

Oh jeez is so midwestern, it reminds me of these guys:

http://www.totalpackers.com/images/dabears.jpg

I wasn't kidding about my wife's fb feed being full of mothers in their 30s going on about this book & the ensuing fuckfests with their astonished hubbies.

Times like these make me so happy I don't have a fb account.

man i need to step up my oversharing game. i mean, just b/c i haven't been gettin' any lately doesn't mean that there haven't been some... ~personal fireworks~ that i'm guessing my fb brethren would just love to hear more about

"Oh laws yes" she murmured as he harvested her cornfield