Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

he probably gets like one out of sixty women to respond positively by carpet bombing that message. guess he like rate of return.

I'm not even sure it's about getting a "result," I think for some dudes it's just fun to be a shit to women on the internet. I mean, it's not they're real people.

I think for some dudes it's just fun to be a shit to women on the internet.

Fixed. This is apparently a big PUA move: alternating between flirty chumminess and overt dickishness. Keeps those weak-willed women off-kilter so you can totes take advantage of the insecurity you helped foster, brah.

To the extent that it's ever at all successful, PUA tactics seem to have something in common with Stockholm Syndrome.

Castration's too good for dudes like that

Oh Ive chatted to plenty of neggers and I'd imagine many of em have nevr ever read PUA, its just something some guys think is a good move anyway. The old treat 'em mean keep 'em keen angle? Maybe it works with some young dills, I dont know?

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck, do I ever despise a large percentage of other people with penises.

― Quiet Desperation, LLC (Deric W. Haircare), Saturday, May 19, 2012 11:16 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah seriously. it really makes the pool of datable people that much more shallow. every time a relationship ends i sink into a sort of despair that i'm not interested in dating women.

Also (although I don't want to make a big thing about it and totally derail this thread), it totally ruins things for guys who aren't like that. It's exhausting how much damage control I feel like I have to do when I'm dating someone, like, "No, I'm really not trying to fuck with your head here" or "No, I'm really not cheating on you or have any desire to do so" or "No, I really don't have any ulterior motives, just that whole thing where I actually like you and enjoy spending time with you". Or maybe I just date damaged women, although I doubt they doubt they necessarily came into the world that way.

Totally a (lesser but still significant) illustration of how the patriarchy ruins the party for everyone.

PUA tactics seem to have something in common with Stockholm Syndrome.

yeah i guess it in some ways is almost like hyper-condensing Stockholm Syndrome experience down timewise. or at any rate at least a super-cynical way of exploiting people's basic desires to be liked

the thing is, some of it is not so far off from what i think are just natural-enough approaches to flirting... except it mostly ends up conflating playfully ribbing someone like you might tend to do with someone you feel affection towards with just plain being a dick

but also i know i have interacted with at least one woman in the past who was relentlessly "negging". which isn't to try to say that it's not overwhelmingly a weird guy thing to do. but, i think maybe some people just feel more comfortable with that style of interaction, it tends to leave far less room for being vulnerable or whatever. i don't know. basically people are fucked up, i would like to be able to exclude myself from that category but ? also i am trying to make a concerted effort to not be defeatist and trying to remember how surprisingly great people can be. but obv there are moments when it's a challenge. guh.

do you think calvin and suzy ever got together

i met a friend's girlfriend for the first time yesterday, and she was really into momus' music. and i felt bad, because she was trying to ask me about certain records by him or whatever, but all i could think of was certain threads from ilx: the momus years. anyway that should go on "too much time on ilx thread". sorry. it's a disease.

I have Munchausen's Flag Post-itis

I so don't get this whole "negging" thing. I can't imagine how that would make anyone more attracted to you.

Does it go along with this weird, bitter "no girls ever go for nice guys, only assholes!" thing some guys seem hung up on?

in momus related okc news, my ex and i realized we were both at the same momus show in boston like 10 years ago and it was the pivotal point of realizing we both didn't really like momus's music and that he kinda sucked.

happier times....of mutual momus disappreciation

you'd think that's enough to build a relationship on but no!

lol!

I remember my first bf was talking about a Creation records video compilation I had, back in the late 80s, and he said "Hairstyle of the Devil" "sounds like a shitty pet shop boys song".

momus at his best was totally a shittier version of the pet shop boys ("the end of history" comes to mind)

my first live-in boyfriend was obsessed with momus and used to correspond with him over email, his band recorded a cover of one of his songs and he posted about it in his blog salivating of the asian girl vox of his band member...of course.

I remember my first bf was talking about a Creation records video compilation I had, back in the late 80s, and he said "Hairstyle of the Devil" "sounds like a shitty pet shop boys song".

that woman mentioned that song but all i could think of was the similarly-named beck song

i really like some of momus' early music (the earlyish creation/el stuff i guess), never delved into his later stuff but more from underexposure. also i never quite understood why people gave him such a hard time on here.

that woman = my friend's gf.

well there was that whole thing about him marrying a 14 year old...

ok, i missed that

i remember him marrying and there were some legal issues but i don't remember it having to do with the age of the bride

anyways, i have decided i want to date myself. i'm really awesome on my own. i played music for like 5 hours this weekend and wrote several new songs, downloaded ableton live and am trying to figure it out, made some seriously amazing food, read some sci-fi in the park, and hung out with a cool cat. what else do i really need?

eh, cat was okay

i beg to differ!

"being in a relationship is really UNDERRATED"

no, i'm not sure if that works...

anyways, i have decided i want to date myself. i'm really awesome on my own.

Pretty much where I'm at. Well, more like, "if I'm gonna give up me-time, it's gonna be for the benefit of friends who I know well and trust and who probably aren't just gonna up and ditch my ass out of the blue".

haha i know she's p. cool xps

i mean being close to someone is obv. really amazing at times and you know, there's a reason there's a whole body of popular culture centered around it which can't be completely attributed to exploiting ppl's vain desires or crass economic motives. but, people are really complicated... if you are presented with maddening aspects of yourself, just living solely by yourself on a daily basis, then how can you possibly expect to get on that close with others? i mean there's always hopefully room for some great alchemy and complementariness but tbh at times i don't understand why everyone who gets married doesn't end up killing their spouse. i want to believe and in fact do honestly believe that many of my friends or family who are married are largely happy/healthily so wrapped up, but also i can't help but think they are diplomatic and mature and unselfish in ways that might forever elude me in this life

but this is a good cat-dragging thread, i will agree

I've become so cynical that I've started to believe that a lot of people get married to make it harder for their partner to leave them.

yeah to be honest there was a period of time for about a year and a half where i was miserable with myself, was not treating my depression or anxiety, and dating was just a nightmare - i would always end up being either rejected or faded out and it would always be excruciatingly painful. of course it would mean that i must be a worthless human being. since i got on a better medication/therapy regimen and have pretty much kicked my depression's ass (and working on anxiety) i am both much more easy going about dating - i let things roll off my back, if something doesn't work out it doesn't work out and it doesn't make me a horrible person just because one specific person doesn't realize how awesome i am. it's so amazing to be at this point where my relationship ended and the person treated me pretty crappily and is probably already dating the model he was hitting on at the party and i'm not feeling down on myself about it. this would not have happened a year ago.

i'm actually optimistic about being single, for a change.

i feel like i have nothing to be worried about. i don't really see myself getting married or having children ever so it's ok for things to fail - there's no deadline for me.

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvlj4xVLat1ql1xwpo1_500.png

I've become so cynical that I've started to believe that a lot of people get married to make it harder for their partner to leave them.

you finally figured it out

A small part of me wonders if I was against kids not because I didnt want any (tho thats also true) but because I knew I'd end up a single mum if I had've. And I would have, so.

Are you just trying to jinx it with this "didn't" and "would have" stuff?

I'm not sure if I follow you but am I inferring rightly that you think I may still change my mind on children? Because hahahahahaaaaaaaaa no.

So I'm trying this and I think I'm not very good at it bcz all I've got is stupid-ass neg messages which I've replied to with total scorched earth ripostes, Abbott don't play that game, you know???

I did have a nice talk w/a guy about PRINCE tho

I'm even worse, I never reply to any messages I get even when the guy is just trying to be nice, cos I think "ehhhh". I'm useless and too fussy :(

I guess I just cant do half assed stuff.

thats not a bad thing on a dating site. i did swing a 2nd date btw :D (that's probably the last i will post about it.)

I totally think I might want a kid, eventually. It does seem to add a level of stress.

I'll usually reply to a message if it's at all clear that someone has actually read my profile beforehand but not so much when it's from someone I don't seem to have anything in common with who's all like, "OOH, WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON!" I mean...yeah, I guess we're both breathing and survive largely thanks to the consumption of food, so I guess it's all a question of perspective at the end of the day...

I've met and wasted time on more than enough "THANK GOD, ANOTHER WARM BODY!" low-expectation ladies in my time, thank you very much.