Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Yeah, I mean, far too often I've hit a brick wall because I failed to live up to someone's idealized notion of me or because they were unable to change stuff they knew about from the get go. Like, I'm pretty honest and open about stuff! It shouldn't be that confusing when I'm the person I told you I was!

My thinking has gone back and forth wrt the brutal (but tactful) honesty in online profiles, but I do tend towards it if only because it saves a lot of hassle to get potential dealbreaker-y stuff out of the way asap. And, yeah, if someone sees that stuff and decides not to contact me because of it, that saves us all time and energy! Everybody wins!

I hate the people who say how awesome and happy and well adjusted and successful they are. Such bores.

I don't know that I'd go that far...but yeah, this kinda informs my tendency towards honesty. I'm always like, can all of these seemingly well-adjusted people really be that well-adjusted? And I see the profiles of some people I've dated and I'm like, it's very possible that these people really aren't as well-adjusted as they would like other people to think.

All the guys I look up are all "bla bla travel a lot bla bla probably gonna move back overseas this year" so its like "why the hell are you looking for dates in melb when you wont be here in six months ugh"

Can you tell Im really fed up with OKC lately lol :( #missno-dates

These days, I mostly just make minor adjustments to my profile now and then on the off chance that even the smallest sliver of my interest in dating resurfaces at some point. I anticipate that it probably will? Eventually?

You can date someone for six months, I guess? Sometimes people have a similar sort of circumstance and could date under those terms, I guess.

"why the hell are you looking for dates in melb when you wont be here in six months ugh"

because you're in Melbourne for the next six months, would be my guess

I am so glad that is not yr plan bnw!!
xps

the ones that absolutely gross me out are the slightly misogynistic ones that moan about how shitty women are to deal with

Oh yeah, I saw one that was pretty "down to earth" in most respects, maybe not too bright but at least a bro (in the good way), and then he said, "And don't be one of those women who needs a three-ring circus and a marching band in order to come" and my brain went DELETE.

I was expecting that to end with ".. in a drama-filled relationship" and then I read the actual end of it and my brain exploded

OMG. I didn't know that was even an option; if I join again I will specify this as my preferred need.

because you're in Melbourne for the next six months, would be my guess

Well yeah thats fair. I guess I should point out the obvious that I'm hoping for something more long term, which obviously not everyone is, I suppose.

kind of tempted to make a profile and put "I'm in town until next Tuesday" but specify I am not interested in casual sex

LTR only, of course.

I saw one that was pretty "down to earth" in most respects, maybe not too bright but at least a bro (in the good way), and then he said, "And don't be one of those women who needs a three-ring circus and a marching band in order to come"

dear god

tbf i feel a little bit better now

Is it common for gross, PUA-ish dudes to come on all vaguely "he-man woman hater"-y on OKC? That would help selective and intelligent women to weed out some of the garbage, I'd think.

that fucking guy!

lol, mh

I had a fun conversation with two female friends who said it's gross to have "casual sex" as an interest and people would not message you. Then I kind of walked through their relationship ideas and figured out that they'd definitely want sex somewhat early in a relationship, within the first fourish dates/couple weeks, which they'd define as casual sex.

I mean, I get where we were coming from, but I still loled

My position on this is that everyone on OKC is interested in casual sex, hence it is gauche to come right out and say it. I don't know, perhaps I am a romantic?

I feel like casual sex in implied in a dating site . . . you don't really need to go any further in your specs.

Yeah, that's kinda OTM. Particularly if, as a guy, you're at all sensitive to how gross a lot of dudes are about stuff like that. It's probably fair to assume that it's on the table (unless specifically stated otherwise), but if a dude has that as a preference, it's a good bet that's all he's after.

Nah see to me saying "casual sex" on OKC has a very specific tone/point. Its not qiute like my aforementioned "hook up right away" kinda deal, its more an explicit "I am trawling this site specifically for a shag and NOT a partner". Which is quite different. I mean its a shave off solicitation to be honest. Which, ew.

Yup, which is entertaining in its own way, and I agree, but still pretty funny.

I wonder if there will ever be a feasible casual sex site for straights? One that wouldn't be creepy men grossing out women. Or is there? I don't know of any straight or bi, *blatantly* hook-up-focused sites on par w/ Manhunt (or Dudesnude, Adam4Adam, Craiglist, etc.).

lol adultfriendfinder? But as far as I've heard or know, it's not really a thing that happens. I don't know if it's a difference between the inherent/socially-prescribed way men and women interact, or if it's just part of this semi-formal dance of lack of acknowledgment where people *do* want casual sex but the way to do it is to be glancing around a bar at last call

"do you like learning from and teach1ng those around you?" barf. i wasn't gonna mock him here but then he listed ayn rand as one of his favorites so i feel like he's fair game.

List Ayn Rand as a fave decision tree:
Do they seem youngish, and perhaps they will know better at some point?
Y -> Continue
N -> Jump to 1
Do they have other interests that are decent, and seem to have reasonable politics otherwise?
N -> Reject
Y -> Continue
Was this actually part of a trend of idealistic naivete?
Y -> Reject
N -> Under consideration

1. Is there a weird extenuating circumstance where they might not get the implications of listing Rand?
Y -> This is an architect, proceed with caution
N -> Reject

Ha. Pretty OTM.

I wonder if there will ever be a feasible casual sex site for straights? One that wouldn't be creepy men grossing out women. Or is there? I don't know of any straight or bi, *blatantly* hook-up-focused sites on par w/ Manhunt (or Dudesnude, Adam4Adam, Craiglist, etc.).

a lot of my straight female friends looking for casual sex go the craigslist route. but the creepy dudes sending dick pix quotient is apparently very high.

I've wondered about the M4F part of Craigslist. I figured it was mostly horny regular guys with a few female meth heads and escorts.

I started chatting with a dude on OkCupid tonight who seemed smart, interesting, funny, etc - and then he decided to try and sexy talk me and get all dom. Mega turn off.

i have a good male friend who, last week, had sex on the first date with his female OKC partner about an hour after they met. Both of their profiles seemed like they were up for it and she wanted to meet around 10pm on a thursday at a bar near his house so signs pointed to yes, he asked and they did. So that stuff does happen.

hey man, whatever works

Is that what that Larry David movie is about?!

idgi

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_m43asuEZQO1qk59nco1_500.png

I wonder if there will ever be a feasible casual sex site for straights?

nerve.com more viable for this in my experience than craigslist CE. Plus their music reviews are actually good.

I don't know if it's a difference between the inherent/socially-prescribed way men and women interact, or if it's just part of this semi-formal dance of lack of acknowledgment where people *do* want casual sex but the way to do it is to be glancing around a bar at last call

Does this ever happen in real life? I mean, actually waiting until the bar is closing and only then looking for, and finding, someone who wants to take you home? Wouldn't anyone looking for a hookup for the night chat up someone at the bar well before last call?

Have you ever been to a bar at closing??

i have, and it's been me, whoever i'd gone there with, and the bar people.

I have, and I never only then thought, for the first time all night, that I'd better look around the room and find someone in the last few minutes lest I go home alone

i sometimes forget that i live in a city where the bar-closing hookup literally replaced religion in the 60s

To me, hooking up at closing just says "hey youre smashed I can take advantage of that" which... eww.

tbh i think it's often a lot to do with the person looking being smashed enough as well tho?

tru dat

I mean Im not saying I havent had ill advised drunken hookups... just not at closing at a bar. Theyre usually dates that end up as "whoops we got drunk and ended up in bed"

Study: Half of Women Prefer Drunk Sex

Confirms what I long suspected....

Fifty-five percent said they like to be tipsy while having sex, and 7 percent want to be downright wasted.

Because making love is just so much fun when the room's spinning.

To me, hooking up at closing just says "hey youre smashed I can take advantage of that" which... eww.

No, it's more "we are both smashed and we're still at the bar at closing, still striking up random conversations so we obviously are looking for the same thing"

not that I have done this, but I may have made out with someone I met near bar close and then talked to for about ten minutes while waiting for pizza

they give you pizza on the way out?

btw this closing-time stuff at gay bars often continues in the throng outside, spawning the term "sidewalk sale."