101 reasons to call in sick...

17. Actually sick.

20. Stayed up all night playing Supercasino on Channel 5

21. Posting repeated requests to modreq board to sort out numbering errors.

22. Drugs haven't worn off yet.

18. Agency staff are cheaper, work harder, you feel guilty for the taxpayer

24. Disagree with the concept of time

25. Everyone else has already called in sick today and you'll be damned if you're going in.

26. You're having a fart attack.

http://i2.listal.com/image/1151269/600full-art-attack-photo.jpg

27. In bed with a hot chick

28. Spunked your bus fare on magic beans

29. Helping that bloke from Art Attack move a long cardboard tube.

30. Tore a whole in your last good pair of work trousers.

31. Fundamentally a bad person

31. Where you are now has a PS3, where they want you to go doesn't

32. Spunked magic beans on your bus fare.

33. You work for Sony and you realise that you can count playing games on your PS3 as 'working from home'.

34. You are the Queen

35. You are a fat cat director who can do things like calling in 'sick' when your 'illness' is gout caused by being a cigar smoking brandy drinking non-exercising fat waste of space.

36. Every cunt is a dub

hmmm suspect that one is from real life

37. Been selected to manage England.

38. Are England manager

39. Dog has absconded with contents of Swiss bank account

40. Trying to come up with funny things to post to the '101 reasons to call in sick...' thread.

41. Invisible rabbit suggests you hang out and get drunk instead.

42. got so wasted night before

43. it's been at least a few weeks since you last called in sick

44. you're sad because this wasn't the job you wanted when you were 7

41 should be giant invisible rabbit of course.

45. Sudden chronic fear of world beyond duvet.

46. locked myself inside a North Face bag

47. Chelsea won the Champion's League

48. I've lost the want of the smell of a pound

49. still stuck at the queue at the latest popup street food stand from last night

50. Been asked to be last minute replacement for Englebert Humperdinck at this year's Eurovision.

51. General strike, unless of course you're an armchair activist aka an ILXor

52. Method acting preparation for lead role in am-dram production of Metamorphosis.

54. Woodchipper mishap

55. Virtual digital payment just doesn't create the same incentive as cold hard cash.

good one tbh

56. no clothes

57. Too ashamed to face non-armchair activists

58. All those IEDs on the route to work

57. proving point about stupid annoying co-workers inability to do their job

58. Went to sleep in homemade teleporter, woke up with head of fly.

59. I've been feeling kindof, I dunno, maybe it's allergies or something...?

60. you expect me to leave the house with all these Misfits episodes to watch?

61. have decided to take TOIL for every second that work has entered your mind outside of office hours.

62. driving with the sun in my eyes can fuck right off

63. I'm going to telecommute. ie surf the internet while not being at work.

61. have decided to take TOIL for every second that work has entered your mind outside of office hours.

― danny houellebecq (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 16:34 (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Best so far.

TOIL = Time off in lieu?

yeah, it's a flexitime system so you accrue time off if you do overtime.