The Apprentice (UK) 2012

Second week in a row where he's fired someone with real skill and promise while sparing a plodder.

Well, yes. I assume Adam and/or Azhar have some excellent business propositions for when they scoot through to the final like Tom last year.

I note that everyone else present was trying very hard not to laugh out loud / roll on floor of the taxi, etc.

If I'd been Laura I'd have nutted her in the face. Take *THAT* Scottish stereotype, ya daft bint.

(I wouldn't really)

Also fuck Jenna and her "will you understand them if they speak Scottish" pish.

not that she has an accent or anything...

Welll, the further north you come from...

Actually, shock horror actually the first team manager to do it properly and well, this series?

no-blinky guy should have been in the board room for suggesting a price hike from 5.99 to 8.99.

have been trying to avoid this but when your flatmates are fans what can y'do. caught one of the girls on the meatballs team saying their food was "locally sourced" - what, because they bought it at a nearby tesco?

it doesn't matter where the produce comes from as long as it is utterly delicious.

Noblinky guy seems to have 'taken over the house', particularly last night's show where he launches into a 'congrats' speech 'on-behalf-of' everyone to the two returning.

Noblinky is the worst. I think Adam didn't bring him in because he was scared of him.

My husband has noblinky in his work sweep. His hilarious attempts to try to find reasons for him to win are part of the fun in my house.

Noblinky's passive-aggressive way of addressing people as "buddy" makes me want to stab him in the eyes. See if he blinks then.

xpost to Ledge Wasn't it a local Morrison's? Makes a world of difference.

It was Morrison's cheap range, so it was about as cheap as you can get.

I don't know about the meat, but there was definitely "value" tins of Tomatoes, and discussion about "we don't need fresh herbs, we can do with dried surely?"

Adam's business idea must be really shit hot.

tbf there was nothing in the rules that said what the quality of food had to be like - it was just 'make the most profit'. If they really cared about making them have a gourmet product they'd have some chefs rating it or something. I don't blame the guy for playing the game by the rules, even though Sir Alan has wheeled out the 'you missed the point of the task' line several times over recent episodes/series.
Any marketing person who chooses the name 'utterly delicious' deserves to be fired FROM EVERYTHING though.

But no-one ever actually knows what the rules (and, by extension, the punishment for breaking them) are. There were definitely a specification for the food to be gourmet. Though what that was defined as, fuck knows.

If they'd used £100 to make souvenir plates of Edinburgh, or (even) "The Apprenice 2012", sold a load of them and made a massive profit...

Stick a pony in me pocket.
I'll fetch the suitcase from the van.
Cause if you want the best 'uns,
and you don't ask questions.
Then Lord Sugar is your man.

Well that was boring, and how on earth did Jade manage to stay in?

Nah, we all had him pegged for the boot.

All those Essex people bemoaning being reduced to a cliche/stereotype, regarding the fake tan and the 'nail-wrap' being picked up for sale. And yet, they still sold tons of it.

Oh, and business logic ahoy: Just because one item has the biggest percentage difference between cost price and retail, does not make it the item to stock up on: you still have to actually sell it.

He had to go. With all his talk of 'strategy' Sugar had him down as 'a finker, not a do-er'.

"Strata-geh", please.

Felt sorry for him. Clearly an arsehole, but he called something right, whereas Jade got nothing right. Presumably she's got one of the business plans he's interested in.

Didn't she say she's got a few, a few 'million pound' companies that she's waiting to set up for him? She was going off on something about it in the boardroom. They are all so awful this time. It does usually start getting better after a few non-personalities have gone..

I get the feeling that the entirety of Tom's experience is the time he wrote 'WANKERS' with a felt pen on a bus stop.

"Nobody knows who Banksy is." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Off to Bristol, birthplace of the completely anonymous Banksy, who no-one knows anything about. Except where he was born.

Tom is so full of shit. As much as I hate to say it, Ricky and Nick seem to have this sew up.

Laura's 'wtf' face is comedy gold.

To be honest, if whoever loses this had come round mine I would have given them the winning difference to get the taggers who think they're the 'new street artist' to get the fuck away from spraying on my house.

Stephen or Tom out, depending on which team loses. Irritating bawbags, the pair of them.

The winning team's treat is a load of Pollocks.

Changing my mind, rooting for never have to listen to Laura's whiny voice ever again.

Tom has been pish thoughout the task.

Aye, but Laura is getting on my tits something chronic (also sounds like this irritating. blethering daft lassie I used to work with so triggering all sorts of negative reactions)

Oh good. Byeeee!

English sparkling wine? How about this for an advertising slogan:
"It doesn't taste of piss... at least not quite as much as you thought it would!"

Has Ricky committed any massive acts of bawbaggery? I like him a lot. He seems decent, not stupid, has some people skills and can do arithmetic in his head.

AFAIK he's not done anything stupid. Going into the series, he was the lol wrestling lol Ricky Martin lol Superstar Ricky Hype slightly joke candidate. But aside from being a bit full of himself in the earlier weeks, he's turned out to be pretty competent. Same with Nick really.

OTOH Tom must literally have a goose that lays golden eggs as an integral component of his business idea. But to be fair he did take responsibility in the boardroom for the two big decisions that scuppered the task though.

He's still a twonk out of his depth though, and the "we just need to sell ONE" tactic always always fails.

Yeah, Nick seems decent too. I keep nearly warming to Jenna and Jade, but not quite. Gabrielle is just a bit meh (also put a suitcase on legs), Adam's your standard issue Apprentice twat. I can't even think about Stephen any more. Tom, blah.

Ooh, Dara's audience don't like Ricky and do like Tom. Hmmmm.

ha !

pure evil gallery‏@pureevilgallery

Every time #alansugar says pure evil im having a drink. I'm totally drunk. Thanks #theapprentice

xp It's because they've just watched the episode - in a sea of BS, Tom admitting to a couple of mistakes makes him seem honest. Rick'ys been soldi this episode but his team's performance was pretty high except for Gabrielle's gaffes. She seems to easily lose track of what needs to be focussed on in a task, relying instead on being smiley. The whole business about not asking the corporate client how much they had budgeted being a good example.

those graffiti robots(?) are all over the hoardings on the pizza shop by covent garden fopp.

Yes, the girls (I.e. my two) recognised them straightaway.

thought the lots of the art was derivative - HORROR picture obviously creature from the black lagoon for instance (not sure who they thought would buy anything like that, was expensive and nasty). better off with the original aesthetic stuff. or the funny derivative stuff. or just bright colours.

loved that abstract of snoopy's face.

as dara pointed out, the stig comment was classic.

original by john buscema & dan adkins: http://bit.ly/IWdsxC

jessop's pisspoor copy: http://bit.ly/LvCtyE