Classic or Dud: Chuck Klosterman

whiney i don't have the strength to argue w u about this. u are right about whatever it is u are saying.

Hey Mordy, tell us what Grantland readers listen to

hahahaha

Klosterman really could have written "the experience of seeing the most popular (yet hated) rock band of 2001 followed by the most hated (yet popular) rock band of 2012" and been just as arguably correct. you know nathan rabin would have explained the distinction if HE made it.

I don't understand it either. It's like writing about how people hate Hootie & the Blowfish in 2000. As far as I know, the last viable year of feverish Nickelback hating was 2008. Even the haters are more like "well, they suck, but they know how to write a hit"

I think I 'hate' nickelback but I also have no idea what they sound like or what their hits were

I'm sure you've heard them before. Their hits are ubiquitious if not very distinctive. If it helps I've always found them more tolerable than Creed

As far as I know, the last viable year of feverish Nickelback hating was 2008

that's a long time to save receipts

never forget: http://idolator.com/366019/nickelbacks-chad-kroeger-gives-us-one-more-reason-to-be-jealous

so proud

Always he reminds us of who he really is.

shocked idolator still has all that shit archived

it really goes well with the new WE LOVE EVERYTHING CUZ WE'RE A CONTENT FARM logo

As far as I know, the last viable year of feverish Nickelback hating was 2008.

nah, after that petition over some halftime show last year you can still make the argument they're the most hated band of the moment. surprised chuck never acknowledges that or that creed was sued for sucking in concert.

i haven't read the klosterman thing yet, but i enjoyed the GQ creed/nickleback thing. GQ dude is young too! and funny.

http://www.gq.com/entertainment/music/201204/nickelback-creed-nyc-concert-beacon-theatre-msg-review

kinda crazy that both articles came out the same day.

As far as I know, the last viable year of feverish Nickelback hating was 2008.

nah, after that petition over some halftime show last year you can still make the argument they're the most hated band of the moment. surprised chuck never acknowledges that or that creed was sued for sucking in concert.

― da croupier, Tuesday, April 24, 2012 6:18 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's a shame because they're so good on record

okay, read the klosterman thing. i liked that too. i like how he found some of the most eloquent Creed fans on earth to quote. or maybe most Creed fans are really eloquent!

and this is funny on Nickleback:

"The group's weakness is their obsession with transposable power ballads, most of which sound like what would happen if Bob Rock helped Coldplay write a really loud song for Garth Brooks (which would undoubtedly be the most popular song in the history of mankind, were it to literally exist)."

I never liked "it's as if Band X produced Band Y doing a song in the style of Band Z" style prose, mostly because of people like Klostermann

For the record I still think Nickelback are the most hated band around right now, but the hate has been dying down steadily for quite a few years. The era of whatever that album was with the car on the cover (All the Right Reasons?) is over. We'll always have "It's up to you, do you want to hear some rock n roll or do you want to go home?............alright, see ya"

Yeah well you have proven time and time again that you have no idea about anything

--The recent facebook page "Can a pickle get more fans than Nickelback
--The recent petition to keep them from playing the Detroit Lions Thanksgiving Day Game
--The recent Rolling Stone interview with dude from the Black Keys going in on Nickleback

fuck off Whiney, how many ubiquitous Nickelback hits can you name that were released in the last 7 years

^^^ rejected lyrics from Pink Floyd's "Not Now John"

The Gauntlet of Suck is a funny article name

whiney has clearly demonstrated that he's followed the nickelback beat more diligently than anyone else on this thread so i think we should just defer to his nickelbacxpertise.

all he needs to do now is demonstrate the ability to read an entire sentence without trying to interject his own thoughts

there was a nickelback single about three years ago that was 'raunchy' and in it the nickelbro sang about wanting to get his dick sucked or something. just thinking about it makes me angry. its not at all comparable to hootie in 2000, since the hootster didnt have nearly the longevity of these fuck-n-sucks

i think you're trying to draw too many parallels here. if we had Facebook in the era of Hootie I'd think it would be quite similar.

it was your parallel fuckhole!!

I hear that takes a special kind of operation.

COUGH
http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/2011/11/nickelback_detroit_lions_halftime_show_petition.php

hi everybody

i thought that piece was terrible, although in keeping with c-klo's recent Unfrozen Caveman Music Writer schtick

i do wonder what scott stapp's 'weird 40-year-old existence' will be like though

it was your parallel fuckhole!!

yes, I did compare Hootie in 2000 to Nickelback in 2012, fully aware that Nickelback's record sales haven't tapered off as badly. what's your point? that not every part of the analogy works?

i think he's just yelling at u

no part of it works

what's the part of it that works

i always think that klosterman should just do journo/interviewing stuff. i think that's what he's good at. he got good quotes from creed fans! they are notoriously shy!

this guy sucks

― J0rdan S., Tuesday, April 24, 2012 3:49 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Nice GQ piece. This is true: "I am a firm believer that you can sincerely enjoy yourself at the concert of somebody you couldn't give a flying fuck about, as long as the people onstage give enough of a flying fuck to put their hearts into it."

what's the part of it that works

how about the part where you go fuck yourself

:0

zing!

klosterman is fine at reporting a story but somewhere along the way he decided that his taste was worth reporting on.

thats the problem - he seems so afraid to actually draw a hard line anywhere, so you can read 20 pages of the dude writing about music without any real indication of what he actually likes. instead he's just content to use half-baked "think about it, bro" statements like "Steely Dan were more subversive than every punk band combined"

it's basically in line with his general thing of trying to seem smart by equivocating and making unclear statements.

for the ilxor who has everything

http://www.amazon.com/HYPERtheticals-50-Questions-Insane-Conversations/dp/0307587924

i'm actually kind of impressed that he commodified his love of inane hypotheticals

"The group's weakness is their obsession with transposable power ballads, most of which sound like what would happen if Bob Rock helped Coldplay write a really loud song for Garth Brooks (which would undoubtedly be the most popular song in the history of mankind, were it to literally exist)."

^^i fucking swear he manages to work a Bob Rock reference into every music piece he ever does

He's apparently the New York Times' new Ethicist columnist.

http://slatest.slate.com/posts/2012/06/07/chuck_klosterman_to_be_nyt_s_new_ethicist_a_new_twitter_handle_suggests_the_music_critic_has_landed_a_new_job_at_the_sunday_magazine_.html

haha!

i don't know what nyt ethicist column is, and maybe ethicist doesn't have anything to do with ethics, but in case it does, klosterman would be my last choice for such a column